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How to stop being jealous of him?

3 replies

LoveRules · 24/10/2023 15:05

My partner is the most fantastic person in the world I have ever met. We are both early fifties and met in January this year. We are making plans to combine households next year.

He is a very outdoorsy and a teacher at a private school who has his kids with him most of his generous school holidays as his ex, their mum works.

I work in a standard 9-5 job mainly from home but one day in the office and get 25 days annual leave whereas he gets 25 weeks or thereabouts per annum. I earn three times as much as him (partially relevant)

He's off doing some wonderful things with his kids during half term and I'm wishing I could be there with him. When we live together my kids (older teens) will benefit from being able to join their adventures but I'm worried I'm going to feel left out and shackled to the corporate grindstone while they go on loads of adventures up hills, to the seaside, rambling, mooching.

How on earth do I wobble my head and be cool with being the financier but not actively involved? I really don't want these negative envious feelings to sour our most wonderful relationship.

Not an easy one to acknowledge but prefer to before it starts being an issue.

OP posts:
SeaPool · 24/10/2023 15:13

Could you change your job, or at least your hours, so that you work less?

Or condense your working week so that you work the same hours in less days giving you perhaps a three day weekend?
Or decide on a point in the future when you can do the above so there's light at the end of the tunnel?

OhComeOnFFS · 24/10/2023 15:19

It's a difficult one! You will just have to make the most of your holiday time together. I'm sure he doesn't get 25 weeks off! You'll be glad of having someone to take care of your kids and give them a good time while you're working - it's much better than what you have now, isn't it?

Having said that I wouldn't be funding his holidays!

LoveRules · 25/10/2023 14:56

Thanks both i workshopped it with him last night too and actually both those themes were in his answer - work hard to pay the mortgage off so I could retire/go part time asap and not to worry too much as mainly he'll use his 22 weeks off to make things and work on the house so will be there to feed me and the kids, keep everything nice and my kids will enjoy interesting excursions instead of festering at home and he'll be on duty on those trips. He made me feel less jealous. Luckily I enjoy my job for the most part.

OP posts:
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