Dh has tried about four times this year to arrange for his dad to see our kids. It's been dodged everytime. He even took the eldest to view a uni in their home city and fil wasn't there but plastered all over FB with his other grandson the next day. He had to drive past ours to get to where nephews was.
My mum died this year. I have since then gone from feeling angry at fil to feeling nothing at all. Every time I hear about old age and dementia I feel that it's something I will never have deal with again as there is no older generation in my life.
I would support dh of course but his dad means nothing to me. He refuses to see his grandkids, still sends money and what apps the oldest two a lot but never has anything in real life to do them. Since my mum died I just feel like I resent fil will get attention if he gets ill. He walked on dh when he was 8 and was stationed abroad in the army before that. Why does such a useless tosser of a father and grandfather get to outlive my mum who saw the kids multiple times a year. It's horrible but I wouldn't even want to go the funeral as I'd be expected to bring the kids. Good enough to try up snd cry but not good enough to know. In reality I wouldn't take the little two.