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Original poster

Lonely and exhausted, would anyone like to chat?

15 replies

bakewellbride · 21/10/2023 19:36

I've got 2 children, youngest is 19 months and ill. I'm pretty much anchored to the rocking chair with her - she wakes the minute I put her down! She hardly slept last night, just feeling so done in by it all. Dh is at work and it's just me. Anyone around?

OP posts:

Severalhourslater · 21/10/2023 20:25

Didn't want to read and run. I have total empathy for you. It's hard and lonely. But I can promise you that your DD will always know you are there for her and that's priceless. Hang in there. You're doing brilliantly. X

Ratfinkstinkypink · 21/10/2023 20:26

It's so hard isn't it but it does get better. Have you got plans for tomorrow?

Icantsleepagain · 21/10/2023 20:30

My DH is at work today/tonight, it's full on isn't it? I remember this stage and how hard it can be. I used to feel lonely and knackered. Now mine are a bit older I have insomnia. Can't win ha!

Original poster

bakewellbride · 21/10/2023 20:37

Thanks all. I usually have great evenings with her, she has a nice bedtime routine then goes down fine. Nighttime sleep hit and miss but ok overall.

Well not anymore! She is like a limpit. I sat with her in the rocking chair for over an hour then had to leave her to cry for 3 mins while I frantically got ready for bed - no other way to physically do it. Now we are in bed together and the washing up and laundry remain undone! Such a slog and I'm hoping that she's better tomorrow and that the weather is nicer too (it was wet and crap today).

OP posts:

Original poster

bakewellbride · 21/10/2023 20:37

@Ratfinkstinkypink no plans, will see how she is and take it from there.

OP posts:

Severalhourslater · 21/10/2023 20:39

Sometimes it's just about survival. It's rough but it will get better soon. I hope she gets better soon so you can have a bit of rest!

Original poster

bakewellbride · 21/10/2023 20:41

Me too! Hopefully better by Monday as we are booked to go pumpkin picking.

OP posts:

Bananaaa · 21/10/2023 20:42

Also sat in the rocking chair with my hand on 17 month ds3’s tummy willing him to give up and go to sleep so I can address the squalor downstairs but he’s having none of it. DH is away for the weekend and I’m exhausted and lonely after weeks and weeks of relentless kids illnesses which I inevitably get too and then just have to muddle though. Hard isn’t it? Hope tomorrow is better for both of us.

MaryMcI · 21/10/2023 20:46

Aw, the dishes and the laundry can wait. Snuggle up with your baby. I am going to be that person who says enjoy it while you can (although I know, I know it is hard, I was single with a baby). My oldest is away at uni and my youngest is upstairs playing Minecraft with his friends now. I remember well their little soft heads snuggled in (and the endless walking and rocking when they would not sleep!)
You are their mum and being with you makes them feel better. You are part of this community of mothers through history and across the world who have left dishes or other tasks because their baby needs to be rocked or snuggled or walked about. That is what I used to think when I was struggling and feeling alone.
I wish you as peaceful a night as possible and a better day tomorrow. Hopefully your little one will get well soon.

Original poster

bakewellbride · 21/10/2023 20:48

@Bananaaa oh bless, what's wrong with your little one? Fever and out of sorts for dd. Her brother first had it a week ago but only had one day off school so hopefully she's just as robust and gets over it quickly! Sending you solidarity

OP posts:

PlantDoctor · 21/10/2023 20:49

My nearly 4 yo has come down with something in the past day or two too. Start of the winter germs I guess :( anyway, don't worry about the washing etc. The more rest you can help her get, the faster she'll get better. Hope you make your pumpkins on Monday!

LadyTrunchbull · 21/10/2023 20:57

I've no kids but I'm also sitting here bored out my mind at a bit of a loss.

Was really looking forward to this weekend as last week was loooong - worked a few 12-13 hour days on a new contract, whilst still managing 1.5 hours in the gym three nights. No work day less than 11 hours.

Also worked last saturday from 5am at short notice and went for a mate's bday drinks that night, and then an entirely separate birthday lunch on sunday in another city two hours drive away so didn't really manage much rest before starting the week.

I thought having a weekend off would be glorious but I'm bored stiff! Woke up really early and had done plenty enough vegging by 2pm. I've had to nip out and buy a bottle of whisky so I can have a cheeky tipple.

feliciabirthgiver · 21/10/2023 21:01

Ignore the housework it doesn't matter if it's not done today (or tomorrow). Throw the routine out the window, get comfy together, put on Peppa Pig and snuggle up with a cup of tea and Mumsnet. It will all feel better in the morning I promise x

LuluBlakey1 · 21/10/2023 21:15

That's a hard time with 2 small children- exhausting and often lonely. I remember it well - there was a gap about 2.5 years between each of them (we have 3).

It gets a bit easier once they are better sleepers and less clingy. She might be less clingy as she gets better from being poorly. You end up just feeling constantly touched- I'd get to the point where I couldn't stand it.

Our 3 are 8, 6 and 4 now, all upstairs asleep. Won't wake until tomorrow now. When DS1 was little he was wide awake quite often until about midnight. He went to bed at 7pm, fell asleep, woke about half 8 and we just sat him with us on the sofa- it was easier. He was quite happy to have company and would just sit quite happily on DH or next to us. Had his late bottle and then slept quite well. DD was a terrible sleeper. DH used to put her in a buggy and push her around front street in the village and back at 3am (in the summer) or drive her around in the middle of the night sometimes until she fell asleep.

I'm by myself tonight- he's gone to the pub to watch the Rugby with a couple of his friends. He'll not be late, he can't drink more than 2 pint without suffering the next day. I like having the house to myself at night. I'm having a packet of crisps and a glass of white wine and the cats are cuddled up to me on the sofa.

I hope you get some sleep tonight.

weegiemum · 21/10/2023 21:36

Yesterday it wasn't a child. It was me! Feeling awfully run down, headaches, depressed and lonely (only dd2 at home now and she was working, dh had been trapped at work with road closures/ferry cancellations since Wed with the storm).

I went to bed at 2pm, leaving a bomb site downstairs but just couldn't face it (I'm disabled and a student and find tidying the kitchen to be a 3 hour job).

Dh got home at 7 with flowers and a bottle of wine for me. He tidied the whole of the downstairs, made me get up while he changed the bed, and brought me a sandwich.

He did the same when dc were small as well, he's a keeper (better be after 29 years married!!).

So I really sympathise and am happy to chat right now as I'm feeling much better today (slept till lunchtime!).

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