Crippling loneliness

[lonelyatweekends]

I’m not sure how best to deal with it. I spend most of my time alone, I have stuff to do during the week but evenings and weekends I’m mostly alone. I have got friends that I see during the week, and people I can call/text, but the rest of the time I’m just alone.

I don’t want to feel this way any more and every single weekend is the same, absolute dread as Friday comes on. I find myself looking forward to bed from about 6pm and count down the hours until I can go to sleep.

I’ve got a lot of anxiety issues that make going out especially hard, so the usual stuff like going to meet up groups, dating, or stuff like that, would be too challenging to consider most of the time. Much as I desperately wish I could.

I don’t know what to do. Even just having someone in the evening to talk to or choose a film with or cuddle.

I'm so sorry. Can you really not make any effort with groups / dating or are your anxiety issues too much?

Hard though it is, it isn't going to come and find you. It's something you need to seek out.

Is the pain of loneliness more than the anxiety of joining groups?

fwiw I’m lonely too, widowed young and counting down till I can go.

Would you consider seeing a counsellor? It would give you something to do and may also help you address the anxiety.

Anxiety isn't a permanent state. There are ways to reduce it so don't give up. The only way you're going to feel better is to reach out, even if it's very slowly. Best of luck - you can do it!

Hi op I'm so sorry you're lonely. I'm not lonely now but when I first moved to Manchester in early 2000s I was so lonely.

The others posting are right though you have to make some effort to get out though definitely make sure first that it's something you are comfortable with but yes. It's a bit like exercise or playing an instrument- at first you feel nervous but as you socialise more it will become easier.

I am a member of meet up and they do run a socially awkward group for those nervous folk. However obviously I'm near a big city so that helps as there's a wide variety of groups.

All the best and good luck!

Dear @lonelyatweekends and @FormerlyPathologicallyHappy very sorry to hear you feel lonely.

As posters have said, only you can make the change. It doesn't have to be quick - small steps.
There may be walking groups. Do you like reading? What about joining a book club?
I work in Adult Ed. Would you be interested in doing a class? These don't usually happen at the weekend although there are a few on Saturday mornings. If you are unsure, do a short course. Some very pleasant interaction takes place and you will have something to study too.
Take a step. I wish you both luck