Is anyone awake? Bad work situation :(

[badworksituation]

I work freelance teaching adult learners.

Half way through the course I am currently teaching, I was told I had been doing everything wrong, by a manager. I should have been making students fill in two sets of forms every session. I had no idea.

They are long, complicated forms too one after every session.

Basically one form logs things then the other references this first form and that's what I mark off(I know it sounds stupid to me, too).

I didn't understand so had a meeting with my manager (this was a few weeks ago). She explained, I thought I understood-but I had to put it to the students, as we were now very behind in all of our work.

I wrote them some instructions, ran it by the manager-she okayed them, I put them on the portal. I addressed it in class too and they all seemed okay with it although they did say they thought we should have been doing it from the beginning (I know but I had no idea these forms existed)!

Then she told me a few days later after all students had heeded them that they were wrong.

After more emails/chats back and forth with her and my other manager, I was confident I understood. Students began uploading these forms. I marked them. I was so agitated with the amount of work (I have a lot of learners, It's TONNES) I did not sleep a wink last night worrying about it all-I've always been an organised person, I make sure I understand everything before I do anything, I don't get into situations like this! Nothing like this has ever happened before-I mean seriously I had no sleep at all and I had a class to teach today too (well, yesterday now I suppose) and tomorrow I teach the students in question.

Tonight I spent all night marking these forms off until I finally had done it all. Then I did my normal work prep for tomorrow.

I didn't check my emails until now and I have had an email off my manager saying I have yet again done it all wrong. I've marked forms right that are wrong. I've not updated something I should have updated that I didn't know how to or that I had to update it.

I am about to send my manager an email saying I have had no sleep, it is after midnight, I am clearly not the right man for the job and this is a constant cycle of her telling me what to do, me doing it and then It's wrong. I am clearly not the person to rectify this situation so I recommend they get someone else in to do it.

But I know that's a bad idea.

I have never felt so stupid in my entire life. Ever. I am clearly not the right person to rectify this situation.

Manager's email is all bright and breezy don't get me wrong but I have no clue what she wants me to do or how she expects me to fix this-the course ends in a few weeks!

I am meant to be teaching the concerned students tomorrow.

What on earth do I do

Sorry you're going through this OP. Sounds painful and no sleep doesn't help.

Can you ask the manager to do a set of forms with you, work through a couple of examples at least?

Sounds like it’s not your fault, and that both the manager and the company is crap. I’d lose the will to even come to class if you made me fill out complicated forms every time.

I’m not sure your email is a bad idea, tbh. You’re freelance. Is it worth the stress to work for this badly managed company?

Anyway, I’d refuse the implicit blame if I were you. I’d just carry on doing what you’re doing, and your manager can sort out whatever the problem is!

Are students paying for this course?

I don’t really understand the paperwork issue. Is this part of the coursework? Does it benefit the students or is it part of company record keeping?

The first thing to do is accept you're not going to solve this problem in the wee hours. Your cognitive functioning will be in survival mode and it just doesn't work as well. So it really is a problem for tomorrow. Thinking that helps me shut it off for myself so I can get some sleep when something is really worrying me.

Secondly can you get a call in to your manager before seeing your students tomorrow? I'd tell her that you've followed her instructions and you're confused by the changes in information and you need to go through it again to clarify because you want it done right and you're conscious of how this is coming across to your students.

If you can have that call on teams or similar I'd record it and say its for your own future reference so you can go back to check you've covered all bases as asked later. (That way if she gives you wrong info again you've got proof it's not your mistake).

The other thing I'd consider is if anyone else you trust on your level is also doing the same paperwork and I'd ask them to take you through it.

As for your students I'd be honest and say you're getting conflicting info on what is required for the paperwork and apologise for the back and forth and say you just want to make sure everything is as it should be because there's been confusion on what's required behind the scenes on a higher level than you but you're doing all you can to pin that down. And thank them for their understanding and patience.

Then I'd remind yourself that this isn't something that you do often, you don't normally make mistakes, you're normally conscientious and thorough and do a really good job. So one miscommunication that may not even be your fault is not a reflection on how good you are at your job. And your managers bright and breezy tone is reflective of this (either that or she knows she f-ed up and doesn't want to admit it) because she knows you're a good worker.

Sometimes these things just happen and you're only as good as the information you have on the day.

Sorry you’re feeling so crap right now OP.

Sounds like a training issue to me. How were you to know you had to do the forms if you didn’t know you had to?! You need some clarity.

Just be honest and forthright with your manager tomorrow. Schedule some catch up time with them and be clear. ‘It’s clear I’ve fallen behind on this however I wasn’t aware this was part of the role - I want to do the best I can here for both myself and the students and I need some support and guidance on how to move forward with these forms. Can we arrange some time for you to clarify what needs to be done?’

Basically we’re not robots, we all make errors and I think if you generally have a good manager and don’t place blame/make excuses, make it clear you’re very willing to learn and correct, you’ll generally be fine. A good manager will want to help you as it makes their life easier too.

They pay pretty well but I feel like quitting.

She has gone through some of the forms with me. The form she's referring to that is apparently wrong, is very similar to another student's form which i sent to a different manager (my direct one) and he said was excellent!

Thanks so much for the responses. Ugh, I honestly feel like utter crap over this and so bad for the students.

@Ponderingwindow yes they're paying (a LOT in comparison to competitors, this company has a great reputation and is under a prestigious governing body) and yes these forms are part of the course-I just wasn't told about them!

Talk to your direct manager, instead of the critical one. This sounds like a poor manager rather than a ‘you’ issue.

@Lavender14 she's freelance too and isn't working tomorrow-we're all freelance. Thank you for the advice.

I dont know anyone else in the organisation.

That paragraph to say to the students is brilliant, thank you.

To be honest, of why she's bright and breezy-I expect IT's the latter.

Thank you @Trj . Thing is when this issue first arose, i thought we'd done just that. I'd obviously misunderstood everything.

I wont' send that email. I still really want to though.

I was going to send this (V outing)!

"Hi Mabel;

I apologise for what this email may read like tone-wise, I am not angry, however I am extremely upset.

This is a constant cycle of me asking you (not you personally) how to do things, you informing me, and then me doing it and it is wrong.

Mildred's form (I thought anyway) was very similar to Eustace's whom I was told was excellent.

I even wrote some instructions to the students which I was advised were right, and then was advised after I posted them and they'd heeded them, that they were wrong.
I am unable to rectify this matter, it is becoming worse and worse.

It is past midnight, I have been at this all night, I did not get any sleep (I don't mean I didn't get much sleep, I mean literally, any) last night, up worrying about all of this because I had it sprung on me that I was doing things wrong, half way into the course.

And then I had to drive to London to teach my other students all day and then come back and spend all night trying my best to sort this out.

And I can't do it, clearly.

I am almost burnt out. And this isn't about me, it is about those students. Their course ends in a few weeks.

I don't think I can put this right, so it is best you get someone else in who knows what they're doing, to put it right one way or another because I can't, and it is absolutely not fair on those 23 people who deserve their qualification.

Can I just say that I have a close relative who teaches adult learners and honestly op, please believe me when I say, that this is not your fault!

This constant form filling is endemic in this sector and completely out of control! It’s all to do with Ofsted and funding and asking students to make assessments and then assessing the assessments and the assessors who then make another assessment until everyone is assessed to death and there’s no arsing time to do any actual teaching!

My relative thought she was having a nervous breakdown! I’m sorry to say that it never got any better and she moved sideways to escape it.

@Balmynights654 thank you for the affirmation. Honestly-the pay is good but the workload-I just seriously want to quit and go and pull pints or something!

I actually love teaching, as in the teaching itself. But that seems to be about 10% of the actual job.

Leave the manager to sort this all out.
She should have clearly explained this yo you before you started.
She told half way through!!

I hope you are asleep now

I am not asleep. I am hovering over the 'send' button!

Press send.
It’s a good, fare email.

Are you still hovering.
I feel like a mum hovering over my kids getting them to brush their teeth so they go to bed. 🤣

Thanks. I am just afraid I guess-wondering if it would be more sensible to sleep on it. I am still looking through these blasted forms even now! And if I quit the financial impact (I am on my own with a mortgage etc but I have enough to survive for a while)....

Sleep on it. They shouldn't be emailing you at this time of night. That way you can mull it over, rather than be awake worrying about the reply you might receive.

Don’t hit the send button. At least, don’t do it right now. Sleep isn’t coming and I know your mind is going over and over and over but emails sent / received in the middle of the night where I currently work are never taken seriously, you’d be better off waiting until at least a couple of hours within ‘normal’ working hours.
I’m sorry I can’t offer any practical advice but know you’re not the only one awake worrying about work [solidarity]

youre not resigning
Youre pointing out you can’t do the forms and asking your manager, who knows how to do them FOR SOME REAL HELP
thought I’d put that in capitals

we all need a little help sometimes

@Agapornis she sent the (very long) email detailing how I'd marked a form right when it was wrong and not done XYZ( that I didn't know I was supposed to do!) and lots of other little bits I should be doing that I didn't know about, at about 2300.

I saw it about an hour later just as I'd done as much as I could about the forms-there are 20 odd students, I had gone through all their forms and marked the ones I thought were good, posted guidance on the ones I thought weren't, it took hours-may not sound much but they're long and involved-even the process to get to them is a minute or so each finding them as the portal is slow and disorganised, opening and saving and opening the form to mark them and saving to the right part.. Then I thought right, done! Then I saw this email...

I don't think I'll sleep tonight either.

My DP thinks I should just 'hit the fuck it button' as they say, and send the email as I've clearly had enough...

This sounds very much like an "it's not me, it's you" situation. If your manager cannot provide clear and concise instructions on how do complete this paperwork is on them! You're clearly intelligent. Sounds like they are over complicating the entire job with unnecessary paperwork.
Ask for detailed instructions and if they can't provide them it's poor training on their part.
Tell them you'll give X amount of notice but the paperwork is making the job unmanageable and detracting from the teaching you were hired to do.
I'd guess plenty have left for same reason but never given the proper feedback.

@badworksituation Sleep on it. Nothing is going to happen between now and when your boss deigns to open the message.
I had a similar situation when teaching - vocational training under the umbrella of a university - my colleagues knew the theory but none had any practical experience the I had.
My classes were more successful than others as I could easily give real world context for the subject matter. Strangely, forms, handouts, answers missing for questions, so I was continually having to write them.
Final straw for me was being told that the college could assess the students for the ability to use a piece of software without an exam. I wrote a course outline that was approved, with lots of useful aspects for students to actually perform well in a job.
The reality turned out to mean a paper-based exam with some very obscure [obsolete] course material, which caused chaos.
Sadly, as with my experience, it sounds like you might be being set up to fail.

If the manager okayed it, the fault is on them.

The manager cannot keep the students filling up the forms so many times, she needs to act as a manager and take executive decisions to solve the problem, rather than shove it back to you again and again, that’s why managers are paid more and part of their role is also keeping staff happy and motivated.

I suggest you don’t judge yourself too harshly, your manager should have been clearer and more thorough to start with, nobody can read minds.

This is going to sound dreadful but… cut yourself some slack, if your manager doesn’t care about you, why should you cate so much about not letting them down?