No longer feeling contentment with partner

[Peckahminn11]

Been together for 5 years. I go through phases in my life where I'm super duper happy and want to marry him, then suddenly I feel a sense of panic and want to split up and be on my own. Is it normal to feel this way from time to time? It worries me as I know he's planning to propose next year and I want this feeling to dissipate soon...

Be wary of getting trapped by marriage when you’re having these doubts already.

I have this pattern too – for me, it's an attachment style thing. I tend to sit somewhere between fearful-avoidant and disorganised.

I learned very young that close attachments can be dangerous, so when things start to feel too 'permanent' or intimate, my inner safety switches flip and I go "Eeek! Run!"

Nothing to do with my partner or my relationship, it's just how I got wired.

I've discussed it a lot in therapy, so I can notice it and look at it objectively when it kicks in, and it helps to just recognise "oh, there I go again, my autopilot has switched on!"

Not saying this is the case for you – I don't know you or your relationship – but maybe it feels familiar?