Terrible post interview cringe

[Ishouldhavegonebacktobed]

Techniques needed to forget today please?!!!
I had the most ridiculously complicated day yesterday, got to bed exhausted, had youngest child in to my bed and got a total of 3 hours sleep. Bribed him with a disgusting Twinkie cake thing to get him to school because I had an interview.
I waffled soooo badly in interview. I wanted to call it quits early on but felt unprofessional so I kept talking rubbish for a full hour. I drank half a pot of coffee beforehand because I was so tired which wasn't a great idea.

This made me laugh so loudly.

My DC renamed my zoom ID using his own name so I had to go through the whole interview with a male name. I could literally see the confusion about how to be 'politically correct' on the interviewer's faces.
I wasn't used to zoom at the time and had no idea how to change it!).

I worked with someone who once had diarrhoea in the interview and left a puddle behind.

In 2009, I had an interview I still cringe about. I was asked about statistical methods, and started rambling about things we'd learned at university. One such test is a Mann-Whitney test. I was so nervous that I repeatedly and confidently called it a Mann-Whitney-Houston test and only realised on the train home. The interviewers must have had a good laugh when I left 😁

Bad interviews happen, unfortunately. Best of luck anyway though!

I once had an interview where my mind went blank at literally every question and I ended up waffling rubbish.
At one point I even mentioned carrots in vomit and how it was amazing that even if you'd never eaten a carrot in your life, you would still vomit carrots.
Why? Dear lord, just tell me why?
Unsurprisingly,I didn't get the job.

I also had a terrible interview yesterday and am awake at 3am thinking about it. I wanged on about utter shite until at one point I stopped and said "what was the question again?" Kill me now.

Oh these are making me laugh so much (much needed as I sit here on the settee with a dog with the squirts!).

Thankfully I'm retired now so I'll never have to inflict my "waffling shite" interview technique on anyone ever again, but I'll tell you one that still pops into my brain every so often.

I was young, very early 20s, and was being interviewed for a fantastic job in a bank. The interview was being conducted by the 2 HR managers. They both had grey hair and glasses. One of them said "what are your weaknesses?" and I so, so, SO nearly said "men with grey hair and glasses", which in my head was absolutely hilarious but might not have given the right impression!

Didn't get the job anyway 🙄

Funnily enough though OP, I had a couple of interviews where I cringed myself inside out afterwards, but got the job anyway, so don't lose hope.

I do a lot of interviews, most of them not memorable. But I’ll never forget the older lady who’d just come off her bike, and appeared a right mess, bloody nosed and a couple of her teeth in her hands. Said she didn’t want to sort herself out first and risk being late, as she really wanted the job. Got the job! She later said that she didn’t even feel the pain as she was so hyped up about the interview and it was only when we sent her to get herself checked out first that it started to hurt

I remember a friend saying she was once asked in an interview how her family would describe her to which she replied highly strung and weird

When I later burst out laughing she was really surprised and said ‘but they do’.

Just to update from my comment earlier, I found out this morning I didn't get the job. Feeling all the feels even though I expected it.

Aww I'm sorry to hear that @nancypowers1983 . I remember going through the interview phase, it can be soul destroying. Even if I didn't particularly want the job, I was annoyed at being rejected! 🌹

@CarrieMoonbeams thank you, trying not to wallow but it is nice to have a bit of reassurance ❤️

Bless you @nancypowers1983 . I've just remembered something I used to do when I got a rejection message - I used to buy myself a Mars Bar, and sit quietly to savour every tiny bite with a big mug of tea! It's not something I'd buy often (permanently on a diet in those days 🙄), so that combination of the sugar rush, the general stodginess of it, and the feeling that it was a bit "not allowed" really cheered me up.

I'm sure the right job is just waiting for you and you'll find each other soon! 🤗

@CarrieMoonbeams oh I like that idea about the Mars Bar. Not had one of them in years! I have to go out later today anyway and might pop by Asda to get one. Thank you so much for the suggestion! 🥰

Some of these stories have made me properly laugh for the first time in ages.
I have had some awful interviews but the worst experience I have ever had was when I was interviewing someone for a post. Despite arriving approximately half an hour early for interview he walked into the room with full motorbike leathers and helmet on, then proceeded to strip off in front of us. My colleague’s face was priceless as he was inadvertently also taking his shirt off due to it being stuck to the leather jacket. He was sweating buckets. His interview was a total car crash as he was like David Brent. To top it off he asked a ridiculous amount of questions at the end of it that were utterly irrelevant.

I will never forget him. For all the wrong reasons

Hope it goes well!

@Moneyjealousy brilliant!!

I waffled and giggled (giggled!!) through an entire interview due to nerves and realised he'd hardly asked any questions (couldn't get a word in). Still got the job 😀

I had one this week that was an absolute disaster.

1. Got my period that morning and I have endometriosis so I was smiling but chalk white the entire interview. Also very worried about leaking on their seat so have tripled up and was essentially wearing a nappy under my tight interview trousers.
2. Got a cold off my children so woke up thr morning of the interview with no voice, had to whisper through.
3. Studied so many complex 'describe a scenario' questions that I was ready for then they asked me really basic scenario questions that I wasn't expecting which threw me completely and I couldn't get chat going.
4. It came to the technical questions which stupidly I wasn't expecting and I froze completely. Literally couldn't think of a single thing that I would do in the scenarios given. This is my job that I have done for years and I couldn't think of a single thing.

Unsurprisingly I was not the preferred candidate.

I insulted one of the interviewer's qualifications and still got the job. I had the same one and didn't think very highly of it.

I cringed hard for the week it took to hear back. Nothing dramatic but so much waffling and a couple of brain freezes where I had to ask them to repeat the question half way through my rambling response. I was successful, it was a massive promotion, and they told me after I gave an excellent interview. Baffling.

Oh no poor person @BarbDwyerHair 🙈

I had an interview once with 2 managers and someone came in to tell the area manager he'd parked his car incorrectly. I beamed and asked "are you a bit of a boy racer?" I sounded like a right floozy. Did get that job.

Another where I tripped on my long scarf when I was putting it on leaving the room and went flying. Not an elegant exit.

At one interview, I was asked to describe myself in three words. I said dogs, dogs, dogs. No, I didn't get the job.

🤣🤣🤣

Wow, how did this even come up 😄?

^^

It didn't, really

🤔😂

I managed to bring it up, like the idiot that I am

Oof I know the feeling. I had an interview the day before my wedding. Stressful doesn’t cut it, my mind wasn’t focused as I was due to interview then go straight to the venue to set up. Waffled, cringed, literally said under my breath (on zoom) omg get it together. Thought it was terrible. Got a call on the Monday to say I had the job, genuinely couldn’t believe it.