I’m 32, I was told by my psychiatrist in August that I’m ‘probably autistic’. It was first suggested a few years ago and I was told that as I do have a pre existing diagnosis of dyspraxia, I am neurodivergent.
I was bullied horrendously at school. I used to have to hide behind a wall at lunch because I would get stuff thrown at me. They sang songs about me. One that started with my name. That was 20 years ago and I still hear that song now if someone says my name. I’ve never coped well with friendships. I’ve never had a romantic or intimate relationship. I don’t understand a lot of social nuances. Sarcasm and jokes and stuff, group work, staff room politics - all beyond me. I can’t always tell if someone likes me or not. I don’t always understand facial expressions.
In primary school I excelled in reading and writing but put me in a PE hall or a group task and I was lost. I was shouted for not being socially able.
I eat the same stuff again and again because it feels safe, I get a lot of enjoyment from sensory stuff but I also have sensory overload and difficulties with proprioception and balance.
Over time I have learnt and taught myself, and I can get by reasonably well, but it’s exhausting to the point of illness as I spend a huge amount of time masking. I’m also heavily medicated for anxiety and low mood.
Being told that I’m neurodivergent and being taught about it, has been a huge relief. I’m able to play to my strengths and understand my weaknesses and needs.
I work in a role where I can help others do the same.
But I should not have had to wait until I was 32 to get told ‘probably’ - even after the ‘probably’, I was told the NHS would hugely reluctant to diagnose.
My younger sister, 30, was 12 when she was diagnosed - she’s left school with zero qualifications because they used to make her sit in the corridor. She’s again taught herself a lot but needs 24 hour support.
I remember many children throughout school who were I would say neurodivergent. One’s dead, one’s in jail.
Years ago your autistic adult would have just been ignored or shut away. Met many people in my job who’ve spent years in institutional care due to lack of understanding 40+ years ago.
I don’t think we are over-diagnosing, I think autism is as prevalent as it has ever been but we are now helping other people understand how their brains work and helping society adapt to their needs and ways of thinking. That can only be a good thing.