Piano lessons drama

[Pianodrama123]

DD, almost 6, started piano lessons at the beginning of Sept. She's having them at her prep school once a week for 30 mins. Then she gets lots of sheets to practice at home.

She was very keen on starting her lessons however she does not want to practice. If she doesn't get it right straight away, she gets miserable and frustrated and refuses to practice, lots of tears and screaming. I repeatedly told her she doesn't have to do piano lessons if she doesn't want to and perhaps she's not ready and we can wait for a year or two but then she gets really upset and says she loves her lessons and wants to carry on.

The teacher is giving her less now and says she'll go at her pace, but then I'm thinking is it worth carrying on and paying a fortune when she's not really ready? I think she is learning when she practices, it's just the drama and constant reassurance that she needs to get going.

Can anyone relate and has some words of advice?

5 is young for piano lessons.

General advice is to wait until they are about 7.
However, few dc want to practice consistently. It isn't necessarily an age thing that she doesn't want to practice.
Different families approach that in different ways.

My DD is 5 and has 15 minute lessons, and practices daily. The practice isn't long, 5-10 minutes, but it's about getting her to sit at the piano, build finger strength and develop good habits. She's enthusiastic about practice when she has some control over it, so e.g. the teacher will pick one song and DD will choose another to practice that week. Her teacher also uses a sticker chart - if she practices 5 times during the week (5 stickers) she gets a small prize (fidget toy, pot of playdoh, yoyo etc).
Any practice is better than no practice, so in weeks where DD felt a song was too hard and was getting demotivated we've gone back and done something more basic and taken it slow.

I agree that at this age practice usually needs to be parent-supported and at least to start with, very short amounts (except if they want to keep going).

I'd actually suggest trying to keep track of the things she finds easy and letting her mainly practice those, then if she wants try one newer or harder thing, then finish with something she can do. If she's enjoying lessons that's a tremendously positive sign. If it would be practical I'd ask if you can sometimes sit in on a lesson.

(must remember to mention that strategy to the parents of my newest students also mainly 5 and 6, albeit violin not piano).

Same as their reading, do a little bit every day and when they get bored and want to stop, let them. Music is for pleasure.

To motivate my son at something similar we bought a pack of ice pops for the freezer, and he gets one as a reward for a successful practice.

He used to then ask enthusastically to do his practice because he was thinking he'd quite like an ice pop.

Obviously the reward could be anything, and we did try earning small toys instead, but found it didn't have the same effect.

It changed for DD when she realised that practising meant happy lessons. Little and often, even one sheet, is much better than having to do 10 times, or 20 minutes or whatever.

It's a delicate balance, encouraging without pushing. But it got DD to 12 still in lessons and enjoying it. And I don't remind her almost at all any more.

Thank you so much for all your helpful advice. I did think of rewards, I actually just bought a reward chart and will be thinking about something else she might like.

I'm glad to hear this is not that unusual.

Try a timer for 5 minutes alongside your reward system. Can move to 10minutes in a few weeks/months if motivation improves.

5 is young but I wouldn't stop now you've started or it will be harder to get her back on it.

Try getting her to show you what she did in her lesson, maybe "teach" you. If you are not musical yourself it's difficult but you are going to have to sit with her for 5-10 mins a day and not be too dogmatic about her practice.

Don't make it too much of a drama.

Plus rewards. Definitely need a good reward linked to practice.

Thank you. We did try that, it worked once 😀. Perhaps I'll insist on that every day or most days.

My dd is doing piano, know her scales 3 pieces and doesn't practice. I don't push her because I know it will click and become easier at some point

The thing is I'm musical and I did a few string instruments when I was much younger back in my country. I taught myself to play uke as an adult too.

So I can and do help her understand (although my music theory is very very rusty) but she won't really listen. She says mummy is too serious and her teacher is much nicer. She is very compliant with her teacher but at home it's a different story.

As someone suggested above, I did try to ask what she learned in her last lesson and she did tell me. Then she practiced for 3 mins, as soon as something went wrong she left it.