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Original poster

What's going on with this man

26 replies

Lostearring · 17/10/2023 17:06

And what, if anything do I do about it?

If it sounds like we're teenagers, weren't, both early 50s 😆

I've known him for years, as a friend/acquaintance through a hobby. For most of that time we were both in relationships and whilst we might chat about the hobby whilst at events, I wouldn't claim to know him well or be friends.

I've now been single for just over 2 years and him for about 6 months. About 6 weeks ago we were both at a wedding. He was sober because he was competing next morning. I was not!!

I don't think I did anything terrible, I'm an affable, happy, sociable annoying drunk. I don't say anything I don't mean but I do say things I'd be too reserved to say without a drink. Anyway, on this occasion, I told him repeatedly that he looked and smelt lovely. He did, but I said it a lot 😆

When I saw him next, which I do
once a week, I apologised and told him it's true he did look lovely, utterly he didn't need harassing and I'm sorry for that. He said no worries, so did I and he was flattered.

Since then, at the weekly event, we seem to graviate together, buy each other (and others) coffee and sit chatting together in a group. Previously we would usually have been in separate groups. Not deliberately but because we didn't really know each other.

I sent him a good luck message for an event he was doing last week, he replied "thank you beautiful" plus some stuff about lovely to hear from you etc. Then I was away at an event this weekend and he's remembered and messaged to ask how it went. We've never messaged before.

Anyway, if he was a woman, I'd just be thinking I've got a new friend, but what is this?

OP posts:
Barrowgirl · 17/10/2023 17:15

that he looked and smelt lovely. He did, but I said it a lot 😆

When I saw him next, which I do
once a week, I apologised and told him it's true he did look lovely, utterly he didn't need harassing and I'm sorry for that.

i imagine he got the “ick”

I know I would have done in his shoes

edit: note to self. Read more carefully!

well it obviously floats his boat op 🤷‍♀️

DavidSnow007 · 17/10/2023 17:18

If you like him, tell him, if you don't, don't, Men sometimes need a nudge to see the obvious. If you like him then life is far too short not too.

Barrowgirl · 17/10/2023 17:18

Do you actually fancy him or did you just tell him repeatedly he looked “lovely” but you aren’t actually attracted to him?

what did he say in response every time you said it to him?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Dating General relationships
Original poster
Lostearring · 17/10/2023 17:26

Barrowgirl · 17/10/2023 17:18

Do you actually fancy him or did you just tell him repeatedly he looked “lovely” but you aren’t actually attracted to him?

what did he say in response every time you said it to him?

Well at the time I was very drunk (which is honestly unusual for me!) and I couldn't really tell you how he responded. Next day, I thought he'd probably been uncomfortable, which is why I apologised, but his response since suggests maybe he enjoyed/enjoys it.

He's not someone I ever thought I fancied, hadn't really noticed him, but maybe because we'd never been single at the same time, so he wasn't on the radar? Since the though, I can definitely recognise him as attractive and we do seem to have a slightly flirtatious rapport going on.

I'm not saying I see him as a potential life partner (don't want one of those) but I think we could be fun for a while.

OP posts:
Barrowgirl · 17/10/2023 17:29

By chance did you start a thread about signing up to do a physical event with a FB acquaintance ?

Original poster
Lostearring · 17/10/2023 17:30

Barrowgirl · 17/10/2023 17:29

By chance did you start a thread about signing up to do a physical event with a FB acquaintance ?

This isn't a FB acquaintance. I do see him regularly IRL and have done for about 10 years 😆 We've just never been close.

OP posts:
Barrowgirl · 17/10/2023 17:31

So you didn’t start that particular thread?

MeinKraft · 17/10/2023 17:32

He liked you flattering his ego and wants a bit more of it, and possibly a shag.

Original poster
Lostearring · 17/10/2023 17:40

MeinKraft · 17/10/2023 17:32

He liked you flattering his ego and wants a bit more of it, and possibly a shag.

If that's what he wanted he could probably have had it that evening! Well maybe not, but he didn't even try.

If it's what he wants now, he's not trying very hard.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lostearring · 17/10/2023 17:41

Barrowgirl · 17/10/2023 17:31

So you didn’t start that particular thread?

I post a lot and do do events, but if it was me (recently?) it wasn't about this man.

OP posts:
Barrowgirl · 17/10/2023 17:54

Are you a widow?

Original poster
Lostearring · 17/10/2023 18:02

Barrowgirl · 17/10/2023 17:54

Are you a widow?

How is that relevant?

OP posts:
Barrowgirl · 17/10/2023 18:04

Ah it is. I’ll bow out

Original poster
Lostearring · 17/10/2023 18:11

Barrowgirl · 17/10/2023 18:04

Ah it is. I’ll bow out

Up to you obviously, but I don't think picking at an OP and trying to tie up previous threads is in the spirit of the thing and even if it was, surely someone's allowed to make two posts about unrelated things?

OP posts:
DavidSnow007 · 17/10/2023 18:58

That's a bit stalker-y to be honest.

Original poster
Lostearring · 17/10/2023 19:01

DavidSnow007 · 17/10/2023 18:58

That's a bit stalker-y to be honest.

What is? Me? Him? Were at the same event every week. It would be very easy for him to avoid me if that what he wants. He's messaged me exactly the same amount as I've messaged him.

OP posts:
DavidSnow007 · 17/10/2023 19:02

No, Barrowgirl.

Original poster
Lostearring · 17/10/2023 19:03

DavidSnow007 · 17/10/2023 19:02

No, Barrowgirl.

Thank you, yes that's what I thought

OP posts:
WhateverMate · 17/10/2023 19:21

I'd be pissed off if a drunk approached me and kept pestering me about how nice I looked and smelled.

But then again, if they messaged me I certainly wouldn't call them beautiful unless I was interested.

Original poster
Lostearring · 17/10/2023 19:23

WhateverMate · 17/10/2023 19:21

I'd be pissed off if a drunk approached me and kept pestering me about how nice I looked and smelled.

But then again, if they messaged me I certainly wouldn't call them beautiful unless I was interested.

Well exactly that. Me too, which is why I apologised. Afaiwc, that was the end if it and we'd go back to nodding acquaintances. The rest of it really didn't start with me.

OP posts:
Paltrypam · 18/10/2023 07:57

Lostearring · 17/10/2023 19:23

Well exactly that. Me too, which is why I apologised. Afaiwc, that was the end if it and we'd go back to nodding acquaintances. The rest of it really didn't start with me.

Show quote history

But you didn’t just apologise did you?

You again sleazily repeated * I apologised and told him it's true he did look lovely* and this time you weren’t even drunk.

You were hoping for something i suspect and certainly weren’t wanting to just go back to “nodding”

added to which you seem a touch disappointed that it hasn’t progressed

* If that's what he wanted he could probably have had it that evening! Well maybe not, but he didn't even try. *

and

If it's what he wants now, he's not trying very hard.

Elliebellie87 · 19/10/2023 06:35

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Saverage · 19/10/2023 12:33

Sounds like he was flattered so is giving some half-hearted encouragement as it's no skin off his nose not to. It doesn't sound like it's anything worth pursuing from your point of view.

Tarmaced · 19/10/2023 15:56

Lostearring · 17/10/2023 19:03

Thank you, yes that's what I thought

Show quote history

I don't think it's stalkery.

I recognised you immediately. You're obviously available again after being married/partnered up and you are enjoying yourself, that's evident and is very obvious in your posts .. 😉

Afteropening · 14/11/2023 10:59

Ah I see you’ve been kicked out