Background: 52 years old, DH, 3 DC 2 have SEN (1 mild, 1 more severe), DH with (undiagnosed) ASD, work FT from home. I do it all at home, apart from the cooking. DH cannot cope most days and just going to work for him is often too much.
Today I am working. I also have a commitment to make a cake for a friend's son and take it to friend's house tonight for the sons birthday. The cake has to be tonight. I promised to make the cake and was going to do it last night but something else came up last night which I just had to sort. I now have to fit in making the cake today, while I am due to work. I could do it in my lunchtime but my DC is begging me to take them to the shops lunchtime today. DC NEVER leaves the house except for school so this is huge and I need to take them while they are so keen to go out. I also selfishly want to go to my exercise class early evening tonight too (I am mentally on a roll with going and need to keep up the momentum). So no time to make the cake early eve. I cannot let my friend down with the cake.
I have several different groups of friends, they don't know each other. They are all scheduling dates in between now & Christmas for get togethers, drinks etc. My diary is slowly getting very full, but I also need time for DH, DC, elderly parents and time to just chill/do my own thing. I realise I don't have to go to all the friends get togethers but there is kind of an underlying expectation for me to go (long story and totally another thread). One group are currently discussing/planning an xmas dinner evening out which is becoming quite expensive. I can afford it (or can I? read on!) and I would love to go but at the same time that money is kind of needed elsewhere/could go a long way elsewhere and I am cringing at how much the cost of the meal is becoming. I would like to say count me of the plans due to the increasing cost, but I was the one who had said all along that I was up for it/going (before the costs started spiralling).
Currently planning (in my head) Christmas and gifts/affordability/arrangements. I will do all the planning & buying for DC & families. I always do. DH cannot cope with it all. As always, the cost will be stretching for us. The emphasis will be on me to do it all and keep us financially afloat. I always mange it every year, but I don't know how.
DC moaning that I am always out. I agree I am out a lot, but some of this is my exercise classes in the eves and seeing family. I'm not out boozing in pubs etc. Couple that with either seeing a friend or my sister 1 night a week then it does mean I am out quite a few evenings every week. DC never want to do anything with me when I am in, they are aged 15-17 and do own thing in their rooms.
I feel like I am drowning under the weight of trying to see everyone/fit everyone in and spend time with DH/DC/wider family and have time to myself and my exercise classes and keep up with the expectations of going to all the socials with friends. Most of these socials are at each others houses, so it's not costing me a lot financially but it is costing me a lot time wise.
Sorry this got so long, well done if you manage to read to the bottom of this and thank you for reading it all.