I have to burn the house down

[OctoblocksAssemble]

Yes, I am being melodramatic, but desperately need to let out some of the misery before I explode.
Our kitchen is horrible. House also pretty grim but no money to fix or move. Not only is everything shabby, tatty, falling apart but we have way too much clutter. I'm trying to sort that, but around kids and study it's so hard. Last night I finally got kids to bed (one of them sick), when elder dd requested her heat up penguin. Down I go to the microwave, flick the kitchen light on and something black, 2-3cm high, maybe 5-7cm long, black as the night and fast as the wind scurries out from under the table and into the Corner of Doom (aka massive clutter pile in a weird alcove thing in the kitchen). Literally shaking, I heat up the penguin and get out of there, leaving on the hall light to hopefully keep it at bay.
It was either a freaking massive spider of the type I haven't had to deal with for years, a mouse or a cockroach. I know technically spider is the best outcome, but even then, I feel absolutely sick. From the movement I am leaning towards spider, but it was way too fast to actually see what it was. Not been brave enough to investigate, plus sick younger dd is glued to me today.
Talk me down, before I commit insurance fraud....

Please don’t try these OP. They are definitely cruel as mice tend to gnaw at their legs to escape.

blarm

You need a cat

Not necessarily. Our cat was always bringing things in. It once brought a (live) rabbit through the cat flap. On another occasion patted my husbands face when he was asleep and dropped a live mouse on his chest. Never had any problem since the cat’s demise. If you do get a cat don’t have a cat flap.

it's basically a cat pyramid scheme

Genius 😻

Anyone in your social circle have a Jack Russell? Offer B&B (to the dog, not the friend) for a day or two. If it’s a rat, that will be the end of it.

They see off mice too.

I know from experience how you feel about the house OP. Solidarity.

No Jack Russell's sadly. I do know someone with an anxious chiwawa if that helps?

After I collect elder dd she can keep younger one company while get gloves on and inspect clutter corner for mouse droppings. And if I'm lucky I will find a giant house spider. Never thought I'd be writing that sentence....

I recognise the stressful kitchen situation you got going on @OctoblocksAssemble but you can’t imagine how cheered up I am at the vision of a tarantula loose in a kitchen hiding from some rats that are chasing mice while all evading the Jack Russell who is flat out but has a vague concern about the impending cat pyramid scheme that is forming in the hall🤣

All chased by you threatening fire🤣

Oh God, I wish I hadn't read that. I won't sleep a wink tonight.

That'll be my night, decluttering the kitchen in a hazmat suit, dual-welding a blow-torch and a vacuum, dodging the Cat Pyramid/JTR/rat/mouse factions while hunting the rogue tarantula.
Your post really made me laugh, so thanks for that.

In real life I was able to put out the recycling/box graveyard, no sign of anything yet. Sick dd then hit her limit so there the matter rests for now.
And I went to change the hoover bag and can't actually find the new ones, so I'd actually rather not have a showdown with a giant spider tonight.

Could be either a mouse or a spider, mice definitely move like lightening though when disturbed. As others have said look for droppings.

we had a house mouse infestation in an old house, we had no clue until they took severe hold of the house, droppings all over the sides, gnawing at the doors at night etc got the pest control in who put boxes down which got rid of them.

current house backs on to a field and the first year we were inundated with field mice (short tails) again gnawing at the door etc mainly in the bathroom as no evidence of them anywhere else. Put snap traps down and caught 6 in a day. No more since DH built his shed although we do still get an odd stray one but the snap traps are down all year round.

they need dealt with as carry disease, field mice especially have hantavirus and if they chew wires it’s a fire risk

We once had a Yorkshire terrier whom, as they were bred as ratters, we thought would chase a mouse out of our garage, especially as once having been attacked by a bigger dog she would bark to ward off any big dog dog that came too near. No, she just cowered in the corner.

You won't have a mouse...... You will have mice. Disinfect all your worktops, they piss all over the place. Get a specialist in to bait them.

Update, it is a giant house spider. Bastard thing just ran behind the fridge. So far it has honoured the cohabitation agreement that it may run around the kitchen at night, but must not show itself when the light is on, and may not cross the lighted hall. I haven't seen it all week, despite frequently looking down from the landing to try to catch it out. Was a bit of a shock to see it again just run past the kitchen doorway and behind the fridge. It's still bloody fast, but from above I can say definitely spider.

A spider is better than a mouse at least (I say this with a massive spider phobia...)

Its time to roll in the cat pyramid scheme, it's the only way...

Well this is a sentence I'd never thought I'd read!....

"Literally shaking, I heat up the penguin and get out of there,"

😂

Yeah, quite why primark thought the obvious animal for a cuddly hot water bottle was a penguin I do not know, but we now own 2 purchased some years apart, so they must sell well.

Oh heck OP. Me, I’d prefer a mouse to a spider! 😱You sound brave!

Still chuckling about you previous post and the bit about cats herding spiders into your room to demonstrate to you their prowess. So true! 😂

Weirdly I was at an event the other weekend where another woman mentioned that her cat did the same thing because she had praised it so much for catching spiders when she first got it, so apparently mine isn't the only spider herder out there 😂

Cockroaches are REALLY fast - but not 2-3cm high.
I would definitely rather have a mouse than a cockroach.

I had a cat who used to catch ‘Daddy Long-Legs’ but leave the two front legs dangling from his mouth like extra whiskers…

Don't get a cat, I have 2. They bring things in but never kill the things already in the house. I've had all sorts of live animals brought in this year

Not brave, but lazy. Getting rid of mice sounds like a lot of work 😅
I am putting all my trust in this spider being a recluse because I am too bloody scared to tackle it. After half term I'll ask my dad to come round and keep me company while throughly declutter the kitchen. He will not appreciate this at all, but will probably do it anyway.

Update 2: it was wishful/deluded thinking and we do have mice (and maybe a large spider too, who knows). Anyway, definitive mouse sighting has been made. 2 types of traps are down baited with peanut butter, but no joy yet. Next job is stuffing wire wool everywhere, although some holes will need a plaster to fix. Feel utterly depressed about it and hate my house more than ever. On the plus side it has motivated me to bin a lot of crap from the corner of doom.

Currently dreaming about running away to pursue a new life as a cafe waitress in a seaside town, but suspect the kids wouldn't approve...

If it makes you feel a tiny bit better, along with the rat I mentioned earlier, I have also had a tree snake come into the kitchen through underneath a dilapidated front door (in Oz). That would solve any mice problems though.

Hope you catch yours soon,