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Original poster

Is it ok to be bad at cooking?

75 replies

Dice3 · 16/10/2023 20:31

I have no natural ability or finesse.

I hate cooking but I do try and I can bang stuff in the oven and there’s a few meals I can cook from scratch that I do well but with anything new I don’t have the natural ability and it takes several times of getting a dish wrong or a bit wrong before I can do it to decent level.

I read stuff on here about husbands who “can’t cook” and I think god am I comparable?

I am dyspraxic so I struggle with fine motor skills so I find cooking so frustrating and I struggle if there are different timings to keep track of (not blaming that on dyspraxia). Find it overwhelming.

Also find planning meals for a week overwhelming. Even for that day…

I’m an academic and very much ‘in the mind person’. Good with work, money, and I’m good at laundry and I’m tidy so I am good at the rest of the ‘household’ stuff.

My husband is a great cook and enjoys so he takes on most of the cooking thankfully
but I annoy myself sometimes!!!

Anyone else the same?

OP posts:
MrSand · 16/10/2023 20:36

What recipes are you using? Some are much easier to follow, and much more foolproof, than others.

I'm sure everyone will have their favourites, but Nigella is great both for basics and standard dishes and also for more impressive stuff.

Satie33 · 16/10/2023 20:36

Well it's like any hobby really you either enjoy.it or you don't. I love my food so luckily I have been in relationships where my other half is a great cook and also passionate about food. Personally I'd hate it if I came home cold and tired to a horrid tea but everyone's different, there are always takeaways I am not keen.on ready meals but if I'm busy I'll pop into M and S in my opinion they ate by far the best at convenience food

ChickenNugget6 · 16/10/2023 20:40

When I was 15, I told myself that I need to love cooking because it will become the chor that takes up most of my time. I made it my hobby and practiced at it and now I absolutely love it. I feel for people who don't love doing it. It must be so annoying.

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General food
Cynderella · 16/10/2023 20:45

Dice3 · 16/10/2023 20:31

I have no natural ability or finesse.

I hate cooking but I do try and I can bang stuff in the oven and there’s a few meals I can cook from scratch that I do well but with anything new I don’t have the natural ability and it takes several times of getting a dish wrong or a bit wrong before I can do it to decent level.

I read stuff on here about husbands who “can’t cook” and I think god am I comparable?

I am dyspraxic so I struggle with fine motor skills so I find cooking so frustrating and I struggle if there are different timings to keep track of (not blaming that on dyspraxia). Find it overwhelming.

Also find planning meals for a week overwhelming. Even for that day…

I’m an academic and very much ‘in the mind person’. Good with work, money, and I’m good at laundry and I’m tidy so I am good at the rest of the ‘household’ stuff.

My husband is a great cook and enjoys so he takes on most of the cooking thankfully
but I annoy myself sometimes!!!

Anyone else the same?

I could have written this, but I'm considered a reasonably good cook and baker. It doesn't come easy to me, and I often need many attempts. Fortunately, my efforts have always been appreciated by my family, and I enjoy it. It's taken years to become (usually) competent, and it's become a family joke that the kitchen is in ruins after I do any more than scramble an egg. I do find I'm better when I understand the science of what I'm cooking.

CurlewKate · 16/10/2023 20:51

I have to say I have little patience with people who can't at least do basic cookery. It's a life skill, surely. But if you can feed yourself and your family if you have one basic, healthy nice tasting food then that's fine
I remember someone asked Jay Rayner if he could cook. He said "Of course I can-I'm a grown up." I so related to that!

Original poster
Dice3 · 16/10/2023 20:52

@Cynderella I’m very much the same as you - thanks for not being harsh. 😂 I do try and I wouldn’t refuse to cook or anything but feel bad when I want to give my husband a night off and it’s a bloody disaster cos I’ve done a two element meal! 😂

At least our families love us for who we are hey!

I think I will try and watch some YouTube vids or something as I don’t like reading a recipe whilst I cook (too much going on!) and once I know something I’m ok so doing the theory is key!

OP posts:
fearfuloffluff · 16/10/2023 20:53

You need to be able to feed yourself something nutritious.

Corn on the cob, jacket potato, cous cous etc are super easy, not hours of chopping.

Original poster
Dice3 · 16/10/2023 20:54

CurlewKate · 16/10/2023 20:51

I have to say I have little patience with people who can't at least do basic cookery. It's a life skill, surely. But if you can feed yourself and your family if you have one basic, healthy nice tasting food then that's fine
I remember someone asked Jay Rayner if he could cook. He said "Of course I can-I'm a grown up." I so related to that!

I completely agree and I see husbands getting slated on here for learned incompetence so I annoy myself! However I can do some nice things it’s just sometimes I have disasters Bridget Jones blue string style…

OP posts:
Original poster
Dice3 · 16/10/2023 20:55

fearfuloffluff · 16/10/2023 20:53

You need to be able to feed yourself something nutritious.

Corn on the cob, jacket potato, cous cous etc are super easy, not hours of chopping.

I can do a mean jacket potato so I feel better now

OP posts:
Jellykat · 16/10/2023 20:55

I hate cooking, I really tried when the DCs were young, but am just really bad at it.
They survived however, and i always say i have other talents! Grin

Original poster
Dice3 · 16/10/2023 20:57

Jellykat · 16/10/2023 20:55

I hate cooking, I really tried when the DCs were young, but am just really bad at it.
They survived however, and i always say i have other talents! Grin

Glad you relate haha. I hate everything about it. It’s the one thing I’m not strong at an an adult and I think god I need to get a grip…!

OP posts:
GreyDuck · 16/10/2023 21:00

You don't have to be good at everything you do. If you have a partner, are they a better cook? Can you swap cooking for another household chore which plays to your strengths?
I hate cooking, and I hate thinking about cooking. I've found meal-planning helps, because I can do all the thinking about cooking in one go, rather than every single day. I have a list of about 15 meals I know I can do, and I pick from it each week. It's repetitive, but it gets us fed. I like to try a new recipe every few weeks, so I can try and add to the list.
I batch-cook, (so at least two nights a week are pretty much reheating, rather than cooking). The Batch Lady books are good for this.
The Roasting Tin series by Rukmini Iyer are good for one-pot bung in the oven type meals.
I use a lot of frozen pre-prepared ingredients, they're cheap and easy and healthy. Frozen onion, peppers, mushrooms etc. The texture is better for mushy dishes though.

theduchessofspork · 16/10/2023 21:00

OP with kindness you aren’t 10.

You don’t need to be reassured it’s ok to be bad at cooking.

You are an adult. No one is good at everything. Delis and ready meals exist. No one has to cook.

NotesApp · 16/10/2023 21:02

Being able to feed yourself is a life skill. It’s sounds as if you can do that so I don’t see the problem.

kopitiamgal · 16/10/2023 21:02

I'm similar - ADHD so poor executive function.
However even I can follow a very detailed recipe. Needing to cook it a 'few times' I'd say is not your fault. Most recipes I find are not very detailed - the first time I try I make detailed notes.

Those husbands people are moaning about.. usually they won't cook. Not can't. Women don't have a magical cooking gene in fact most professional chefs are men!

Jellykat · 16/10/2023 21:03

No Dice3, in my book you dont need to get a grip.. as long as no-one dies from food poisoning it's all good!
Let your DH do it if he enjoys it, you can pull your weight with other household chores, sorted! Smile

LoobyDop · 16/10/2023 21:14

Being a good cook takes enjoyment of food, preparation and practice. Enjoying food means you can understand what works and what doesn’t. Preparation means it doesn’t go wrong because something unexpected happened. The more you practice, the more you can spot pitfalls and bad recipes (there are plenty). None of it needs natural talent. Not to be good enough to cook food you and the people around you enjoy eating.

NumberFortyNorhamGardens · 16/10/2023 21:15

1: Cooking isn’t about being Mastercheffy and inventive. It’s about getting safe healthy nutritious food inside you and your nearest and dearest.

2: If you’re dyspraxic and can’t do chopping, frozen ready chopped onions, garlic, ginger etc. from the supermarket are your friend. As are one pot oven meals.

3: Boiling an egg and making an omelette are surprisingly tricky even for seasoned cooks.

4: Don’t worry about fiddly stuff like lasagne, quiche, pies and so forth. M&S exists for things like that.

5: Anyone who whinges about not getting Michelin starred restaurant quality food is an arse.

TomatoSandwiches · 16/10/2023 21:17

I view it as a necessary life skill, so long as you have the capacity to cook safely then as long as you can sustain yourself that's good enough imo.

Khvdrt · 16/10/2023 21:20

I’m the same; I have no interest in cooking and no patience for it. DH enjoys it so he does the cooking when he’s home. If I was left to my own devices I’d have a fairly simple but healthy diet and that’s not what DH wants so he cooks.

TheChosenTwo · 16/10/2023 21:20

Oh god I hate it so much.
I can do it, I have a variety of meals I make and can follow recipes too but it’s just such a tedious chore and I get no enjoyment out of cooking. I’m more a consumer not a creator 😂
Dh does almost all the cooking because he does really enjoy if (thank god) but he’s laid up at the moment with an injury and it’s all on me and I’m absolutely sick of it. I like something that’s really quick to put together, fresh, healthy, minimum clearing up.
If it were just me I’d be living on toast and meals out!

RampantIvy · 16/10/2023 21:28

On TV recently John Torode said that there aren't people who can't cook, but people who won't cook.

I'm inclined to agree with him. I think that people who dislike cooking just need simple recipes that won't stretch them. Books like The Roasting Tin cookery series are probably a good start.

I am a competent cook, but I find roast dinners the most difficult because the skill is timing everything to be ready at the same time.

ReignOfError · 16/10/2023 21:31

I hate cooking. I have a range of meals I can do reasonably well, but if I lived alone, I wouldn’t bother. Inconveniently, however, I live with someone who thinks eating a minimum of one cooked meal a day is essential. He doesn’t expect me to cook them, but I feel obliged to contribute a bit: he cooks at least 5 meals to my 1.

I am a great baker though, and thoroughly enjoy that.

DappledThings · 16/10/2023 21:36

I can cook when needed, I just take no pleasure in it. It's so much effort for such little return and creates more mess. Fortunately DH enjoys it so does all our cooking, shopping and meal planning.

I would far rather always be the one cleaning up after dinner. I can't be arsed being creative so removing mess rather than creating it suits me far better

CurlewKate · 16/10/2023 22:01

@Dice3 have a look at Chetna Makan on YouTube. She is lovely and shows you how to make delicious super simple Indian food.,