12 year old going on trip to Germany

[funniestpersonyouknow]

My 12 year old has the opportunity to go to Germany for 4 days with school and I am really conflicted about whether or not he should go - looking for opinions! He is quite sensible (for a 12 year old boy!), the cost is reasonable and we can pay in instalments although we will need to get his passport renewed so need to factor that in as well. I just have an uneasy feeling about him being abroad without us. He is desperate to go and I don't want my anxieties (irrational or otherwise) to stand in his way but there is something that is holding us (mostly me) from saying yes. For one reason and another we haven't been out of the country since he was 3 so that's probably part of it. Wise mumsnetters, what should we do?!

Absolutely 100% you should let him go. You say you don't want your anxiety to stand in his way yet you are contemplating doing just that. In the most gentle way, please do try and fight that! It's a school trip, it will be designed to be suitable for his age and safe.

It's a school trip, with lots of very experienced adults around him, why would you feel uneasy about it? Let him go!

Going on international trips is a perfectly normal part of Secondary school.

The paperwork involved for health and safety is very extensive.

I think if he wants to go let him go! My 12 year is going to Germany for 2 days, a week skiing and a 5 day adventure holiday. She’s only done her Year 6 residential before but is super exciteD. Trips like this are so beneficial. I think you have to do your best to put your fears aside and sign him up!

If he wants to go and you’re in a position to afford it then it would be unfair to let your understandable worries hold him back.

Let him go. I went to France in year 8 and it’s one of my best school memories

This is one of those times when you have to pull on your big-girl mum-pants, trust him with his wings and let him fly. It's not easy by any means, but you should not hold him back.

I don't want my anxieties (irrational or otherwise) to stand in his way

That's EXACTLY what you are doing though It's Germany, not Ukraine.

Let him go!

He is desperate to go. School trips are risk assessed to the Nth degree, It will presumably be educational, fantastic for his social development, you can afford it… how can you even think of him looking bereft as his friends set off and he is left behind saying ‘my Mum just doesn’t like the idea’.

It will feel awful for you, but your mum job is to not let that show . If you can afford it then it will be amazing for him. You shouldn't go on about how it will make you feel or how much you'll miss him, just be positive and excited. Yes it will be a wrench, yes you'll count the days, scan for any update and trawl news stories etc for disasters but you suck that up.

It’s a great opportunity for him and he wants to do it, you can afford to do it, there are no good reasons not to? His friends will do it. It’s a great life experience & confidence booster. Is he staying in a dorm/hotel or with a German family? The school staff accompanying are often parents themselves, they will take great care of them. Surely better that he tries a first trip at 12 than 15 when you have booze & holiday romances to worry about! Let him go and grow.

My DD did a v similar trip in Y8 and had THE best time. Don't let him miss out because of your own anxieties, OP.

I never went abroad with my family and was desperate to go abroad so he may have the same itch to travel out the UK. At secondary school kids often compare notes on that kind of thing and he may want to feel more ‘worldly wise’.

Thank you everyone - exactly what I needed to hear. Have given my head a shake and will get the deposit paid.

Yes @funniestpersonyouknow 🙌he will be thankful for the experience & you will be really proud of him, he might even bring you back a little holiday present.

Mumsnet can be such a great place to talk concerns over.

Let him go! My 15 year old missed out so many opportunities for school trips like this due to Covid, and now they are not doing any go to CoL! School trips abroad are such a fantastic way of growing up a bit and getting a taste for independence.

It's scary I know - my 13 year old is off on a school trip for three nights tomorrow, his first trip abroad without family. I do keep fretting slightly over what might go wrong but on the outside I'm excited for him! Just have to make sure I wait till after I wave him off at 7am tomorrow to shed a little tear!

Of course let him go, and please don’t let your anxiety affect him

So he's definitely going - you're all right, I know I'm going to worry but it's a brilliant opportunity and I'm actually really excited for him.