ADHD, Depression or Plain Lazy

[Lazyoradhd]

The more I've read about ADHD over the years, the more I wonder whether I have it.
If you've been diagnosed with it in adulthood, how easy was the process? And what led you to seeking the diagnosis?

Sorry for a random list of "symptoms" I'm just hoping that someone will come along and say "no not normal" or " no sorry you're not special this is everyone when they're too lazy to organise themselves."

I'm just really trying to work out whether I just need to get a grip.

When I worked FT, I was organised since having kids and going very PT and basically having to manage my own time I feel like a disaster. This has been going on for years.

At school and university I always struggled to get exams finished on time but no problem turning in assignments on time.

I struggle with impulse control.

It's the holidays right now and I'm struggling with relaxing- sitting on the sofa but worrying about how productive today will be. I will switch tasks or activities quite a lot and find it very difficult to know how to enjoy allotted relaxation time

I'm dreading the festive season because there are so many birthdays before. I'm dreading getting the finances sorted for gifts.

My house is a bombsite. Most of the time. I've realised over time that to get it tidy I need to focus on little areas first. My husband and relatives will quickly blitz a very messy room.
It takes me ages. Often I feel paralysed and overwhelmed by the mess- I know that tidying will make me feel better but I can't often. I can't seem to control paper in the house.

I struggle with decluttering and letting things go but having some success with the organised mum method.

I'm not forgetful but typically feel overwhelmed by all the things. I always fancy that I need at least one day at home just to get "on top of everything" but it never happens. I often feel I'm not in control of my life. I do write lists which help.

My default is to be over sensitive but done lots of work on myself over the years to try not to be.

In the afternoons I'm tired and irritable and non functional.

I'm better cleaning and tidying alone with no kids to break my focus.

This gives you the details about the screener & how to go about getting a referral https://adhduk.co.uk/diagnosis-pathways/

The examples of ADHD symptoms are things most people will relate to and experienced one time or other but it's more the frequency, with ADHD they are long term and deficits cause a negative impact on various areas of their life education, work, social, home. With executive function deficits they often show up more in adulthood when the previous support from school/parents falls away and while likely figure out work arounds or just working harder than most to do same tasks it all takes up more energy and at some point the demands outstrip ability to keep all the plates spinning. Hormones also effect ADHD symptoms so for women it can seem more present at certain times.

The key point for it to be ADHD is that your born that way so symptoms must be present before 12yr old , these may look slightly different between childhood and adulthood.

There are also 3 types ADHD presentation where traits are mostly Hyperactive (external or internal)/Impulsive or Inattentive or Combined where is a mix of other 2

I'm combined and probably appeared more inattentive as a child. I'm not obviously physically hyperactive but subtly fidget more than I was aware of, its mainly internal as if my thoughts are like someone whacked load of balls in a squash court and as they bounce about off all the surfaces, I can't focus on one ball/thought to hit and dash about going from one to another. A benefit of medication is that it's reduced the balls to a more manageable amount and the brain chatter as they bounce about so I feel much calmer and less anxious

If you feel you don't quite fit or have somewhat conflicting thought V behaviour it can be more complex if ADHD + Autistic as they can balance more outwardly obvious traits of both though internally can create lot of anxiety.

Just realised I assumed you were in the UK if not I'm sure is similar info on national ADHD organisations
https://www.additudemag.com/
Is a very useful resource, it's US based so some things may differ by country.

Thank you @123Squirrel The first link is new to me and was very helpful. I am in the UK

I know Additude already. It's a great resource.

Looking back I'm not sure if symptoms were present before 12 but I definitely had undiagnosed OCD and phobias at a young age which developed into adult anxiety and pure O

@Lazyoradhd I don't know much about OCD but it is often a co-morbid condition i see mentioned in the neurodiverse online support groups.

When you handed in assignments on time was this because you were organised at getting it done in the time allowed or a last minute thrown together to hit the deadline?

Have you also looked into Autism as some things don't seem typically ADHD but theres a big overlap especially around executive functioning issues and getting overwhelmed, procrastinating although can appear more organised than adhd due to need for planned outcomes & routine. Purple Ella & yo samdy sam are autistic & later diagnosed ADHD so cover both, here's them both discussing but will link to their other content, I prefer YouTube for longer discussions & you can speed up playback if find that helps to focus. Embrace have range
Autism/ADHD tests (most official some not) on site and discuss out the pros/cons of each which is worth knowing as screeners came from research based on classic male presentation.

Psychiatry UK have just reopened for right to choose ADHD/ASD referrals if you live in England as often local service is years waitlist. Good news as only they & ADHD 360 currently include titrations for medications all the other RTC providers are diagnosis only.

It's ADHD awareness month so have been fair few events on
ADHD UK Global Conference 2023 not sure what happened to part 1?

Got till end of October watch these
ADHD Awareness Expo
ADDA - Tadd Talks
if you sign up you'll likely get notified of other events over the year. There's an ADHD women's palooza (couples/parents palooza too). Lot of the speakers/ADHD coaches on these events will go on various adhd podcasts or be on YouTube for free.

Placemarking

@123Squirrel I've been wondering whether I'm normal for a while so have done a few autism screeners but always score quite low. But maybe the screeners are more geared towards males. My husband scored higher in the screeners for autism than I did. I'll watch the video with the women and see if I relate. I think I read people quite well and don't think I struggle socially. I can get very lost in fleeting obsessions though. I can be obsessed by a news item and research it deeply for many days.

I will book a GP appointment. I'm so tired of feeling overwhelmed by what is really very little.

Thanks for your posts.

I would look into anxiety. There are a lot of overlapping symptoms. Gettign in your assignments on time but not getting exams done on time is the opposite of ADHD.

Regarding uni assignments. A combination of the two. Sometimes I did so well and set myself an action plan, other times I'd be nearly in tears up at 1am hammering on the keyboard to get it done.

I've had anxiety for years.

There is a difference between ADHD traits/symptoms and ADHD impairment. If there's no impairment there's no disorder.

Everyone is lazy sometimes, struggles to get started on hard things, prefers to avoid boring things etc.

The difference is whether you can overcome it when you really want or need to, or whether you can't and you've had various serious issues occur as a result of it.

I was diagnosed at 28, my life sounds like a car crash up to that point basically.

Didn't finish any education post 16 despite being "clever" "so much potential" "you'll do great things" at school.

Actually 35 and feel like I've never had a proper job and will never be a real adult.

Dropped out of two college courses, totally different subjects. I wasn't struggling with the content I just couldn't manage my time.

Unplanned pregnancy at 19. Kept the baby.

Didn't occur to me confused to apply for more jobs after being made redundant. Just thought "I'll be a SAHM!"

Relationship broke down.

Applied for university. Third subject. Loved this. Didn't go to my exams. confused

Struggling massively with single parenting and housekeeping at this point.

Decided to move to Germany. Did yet another course in a fourth subject area. This is effectively a postgraduate level course, but I don't have A Levels.

Taught myself German apparently to a B1 level. Don't have a certificate.

Took my driving test, passed theory first time, failed practical 4x, gave up. My instructor said I could drive fine in the lessons. (I don't actually know, I suspect he was wrong and I'd be dangerous).

I lose paperwork which ends up costing thousands. I had such a messy, out of control house that my landlord nearly kicked me out and I got referred to social services.

I don't read emails and have missed or failed to follow up on actual decent job opportunities, which seem to come to me despite me being a monumental fuck up everywhere else.

There's other stuff I don't even want to explain because it's too embarrassing/upsetting.

It's not just a mild inconvenience or a quirk. I don't mean that you have to have a list as long as your arm. But there has to be some impairment for it to be classed as a disorder.

I don't actually agree that getting assignments in but missing exams is the opposite of ADHD - as you can see, that's my exact experience!

Everyone's profile is different. But where I think the line is is basically if you know that you can be a bit distracted, disorganised, forgetful but you can get on top of it when it matters, it's probably not ADHD.

When you can't get a handle on anything even when it's the most important thing in the world and everything is falling down around you all the time and you're not in control of it at all, that sounds more like ADHD.