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TTC but worried about affording it.

5 replies

AutumnCandle · 14/10/2023 12:08

Did or does anybody else feel like this?

FWIW we have done a lot of research and feel ready for lots of other reasons; but due to the cost of living crisis I am feeling a bit wobbly about whether our incomes can support a child and a pregnancy, even! All the gadgets and prenatal classes and maternity clothes, prams, cots, car seats etc must add up.

I earn 30k ish and have a decent maternity package, which is 10 weeks at 90%, 20 weeks at half pay + SMP, and then a further 9 weeks at SMP. DH earns similar but is a shift worker.

That works out at about 7 months of getting close to my normal pay (200-300 hundred pounds a month less). Obviously the SMP months would be tight but hopefully we’d have savings to cover it. Then I can tag annual leave on the end and hopefully have about 9, maybe 10 months off in total.

We’ve had a couple of offers of family help for childcare so I am not too worried about that. We will probably need one or two days a week but we know a childminder who we will use and feel happy with the prices. There’s also the possibility of more funded hours for all ages from the time we would need it, 2025.

I think I am worried we won’t be able to afford a decent standard of life once having a child- the everyday things like trips out, swimming lessons for DC, other activities and then even having any spare cash for the odd meal out.

I must be massively overthinking as I know lots of people who manage to do all these things, in better and worse circumstances than ours!

I don’t know if my way of thinking is normal or if I just need to be more one step at a time with it.

OP posts:
AutumnCandle · 14/10/2023 12:34

Bump

OP posts:
ghostbusters · 14/10/2023 12:47

I think it's totally normal to worry about it, I think we certainly did and we had kids way before the cost of living crisis (our 2 are late primary age). I work 3 days a week and for about 2 years our childcare bill was about the same as our mortgage until my eldest started school and that was with a childminder which is cheaper than nursery. They were painful days watching the pennies.

Babies don't really need all that much gear other than a car seat, buggy and a bed. A lot of stuff is just that, stuff. We got most of our baby stuff second hand, I'm not precious about things being pre- owned so that saved us a fortune. Even now I buy a lot of clothes second hand.

Lastly, there's no way of knowing how easily you'll get pregnant. You might be lucky and get pregnant straight away or, like us, it'll take more than 2 years and need assistance from fertility treatment. At least if it takes longer, you have longer to save up ( every cloud has a silver lining and all that.....).

Good luck.

AutumnCandle · 14/10/2023 14:33

ghostbusters · 14/10/2023 12:47

I think it's totally normal to worry about it, I think we certainly did and we had kids way before the cost of living crisis (our 2 are late primary age). I work 3 days a week and for about 2 years our childcare bill was about the same as our mortgage until my eldest started school and that was with a childminder which is cheaper than nursery. They were painful days watching the pennies.

Babies don't really need all that much gear other than a car seat, buggy and a bed. A lot of stuff is just that, stuff. We got most of our baby stuff second hand, I'm not precious about things being pre- owned so that saved us a fortune. Even now I buy a lot of clothes second hand.

Lastly, there's no way of knowing how easily you'll get pregnant. You might be lucky and get pregnant straight away or, like us, it'll take more than 2 years and need assistance from fertility treatment. At least if it takes longer, you have longer to save up ( every cloud has a silver lining and all that.....).

Good luck.

Thank you x

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AutumnCandle · 13/12/2023 22:53

Just bumping this again :)

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Pepperama · 13/12/2023 23:03

As long as you’re careful it should be ok. Just don’t buy new stuff, accept any hand me downs, shop smartly and avoid all
the coffee culture expensive get together in favour of playgroups run in libraries or church halls which tend to be very cheap. You’ll get child benefit which will help too

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