Virgin at 32

[feelingunsure2344]

As the title says.

Due to very complex/messy life circumstances I’ve never had the chance to pursue a relationship or anything else. I do now, am having a bit of a delayed teenage stage almost - but I wouldn’t know where to begin. Have two close friends and both are saying they want to set me up with someone but they don’t realise I’m a virgin, and I don’t feel able to tell them.

I did have a bit of a thing with a bloke for about 10 months but that was strictly online/phone only - sexting basically. I did really, really enjoy that… and would love it if that could somehow cross over into real life, not him per se but just to have that intimacy with someone.

As an added complication I’m currently undergoing trauma therapy for childhood issues part of which involved SA. I’m also neurodivergent.

I do want to meet someone but I don’t know how and socially I think I’d miss the cues, friend said to me the other day someone was trying it on with me in a bar but I even realise until she told me!

Your sexual history isn’t anyone else’s business tbh so you don’t need to share that if you don’t want to. You could say you’re not very experienced or have had a serious relationship… but you could just take it from where you are and try going on dates without sex being an issue until it becomes a natural next step?

Being a virgin or not is such an old fashioned thing. Who cares ! Just go on dates and see what happens.

Being a virgin at your age is not an issue. The ND and SA add a very complicated layer to this however. It's not a 'problem' that you need to overcome. If you want a relationship that's fine, but do not feel that you need to have sex to 'accomplish' this. If you feel you are awkward or need social cues explained that most people take for granted, then do not feel shy to ask for clarification or tell a potential that you sometimes find these things hard. In any healthy relationship open communication is really important.

I had sex at 17 to get rid of my ‘Virgin’ status and to see what it was like. It was such a let down. Make sure you really want to do it when the time comes.