Can anyone relate?

[watermelonsugar56]

Feel stupid even writing this when people are going through so much just now with cost of living etc. I’m a couple of nights in on a much awaited holiday with DH and DD and it’s been so lovely but I’m feeling depressed and deflated. Can’t understand why. We are here for over a week.

I’m honestly happy in my relationship and love our dd more than anything. I’ve been abroad with her before. We are in such a beautiful place. Everything about it has been lovely. Yet here I am depressing myself thinking about work and it’s like I’m finding any other thing to make me worry/anxious. I hate myself for doing this! You only get one life and I feel like I’m ruining it with my endless worrying. Can anyone relate? It feels almost hormonal although my totm just finished before we went abroad and usually I’m fine by this point in the month. Is it a motherhood thing? DD is 1 and is quite tiring ATM so wondering if I’m missing how things used to be on holidays although she absolutely lights up my life. Any advice/solidarity would be appreciated and thank you for reading xx

God, I’m reading it again and cringing as I feel like I’ve not described it very well. Basically instead of relaxing my mind has switched to “let’s worry about everything and anything that we possibly can” mode.

Maybe your brain is going into overdrive now that you're on holiday and are sitting around instead of focusing on getting things done. It happens.

You need to break the cycle. It's fine to think situations through in order to figure out how to deal with them. But there's no point in going over and over problems you can't solve or that you've thought about countless times before. If your brain is in the habit of fixating on certain issues, then it is going to take some effort to train it differently.

When you feel yourself spiralling, get up and do something, even if you don't want to. Swim, go for a walk, find an activity (dancing, going to the gym, going on a tour of the local area with a guide). You could even iron!

If you fundamentally think you're unhappy at work or that things at home aren't working somehow and need to change, maybe have a think about what you DO want. Maybe you don't know. Try to picture yourself in another kind of job. What does it feel like? If it seems OK, maybe pursue that thought a little and then put it aside for deeper thought until you get home.

I think it's normal for unresolved thoughts to bubble up when we're a little more relaxed than usual. Maybe it's a sign that you're not making enough time for relaxation when you're not on holiday. Could you add exercise to your usual routine at home? That's often when people sort through issues. Good luck.

I'm a teacher, but no longer in mainstream. When I was (secondary), it would take me at lease 3-4 days to even start to switch off. Is work the issue? If so, maybe something different would help. If it's not just work, then maybe it is motherhood - not in itself, but pregnancy, birth and a young baby means that home/family life is constantly changing. Once child or children are at school, there is a bit more stability although, of course, there are other things thrown at you over that period.

Is it a motherhood thing? DD is 1 and is quite tiring ATM so wondering if I’m missing how things used to be on holidays although she absolutely lights up my life.

Quite possible. When you're overtired and overwhelmed it can be difficult to switch into Happy Holiday Mode. But that's OK. You're allowed to feel grim. That's the way you feel, you don't have to excuse or justify it. It will pass.

And if it doesn't pass, then maybe there is a problem like PND to address. Are you juggling work and motherhood? Is the balance right for you? Are you physically well?

But these are things to consider once you're back home. For now, can you just acknowledge your feelings, that things are different, and be open to whatever might happen on this holiday?