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Who is in the wrong here?

8 replies

Lentilweaver · 13/10/2023 11:10

Genuinely want to know if I have forgotten social etiquette. I have trying to make a lot of new friends lately via Meetup and other social media, as so many of my old friends have drifted away. I stopped chasing some as they clearly did not want to meet and preferred to just WhatsApp.

Two instances in the last week which have left me wondering if I am wrong:

Friend- not a long standing one but with potential- contacts me after going very silent in the last year, as she was busy looking for a new job and has a young daughter. She suggests we meet Wednesday lunch. I say fine, let me know a time and place that works for you since you are busier than I am. She says ok, then goes silent. This week was busy, and I had cleared Wednesday lunchtime to meet, so I am mildly annoyed.

New acquaintance in the same field of work calls me, suggests meeting tonight for a drink. I say ok. I suggest a place to be more proactive. I ask her to suggest a time. She ghosts me, and now Friday is here, and I have no idea if we are still on. I like knowing my itinerary at least 24 hours in advance so I can plan my day, especially as it's London and places are very busy on Friday evening, as is the Tube.

Am I being too anal and picky in expecting this ? Is this "normal" these days that everyone makes or breaks social plans at the last minute?

OP posts:
Lentilweaver · 13/10/2023 13:19

Clearly me! There are more important things going on in the world, I know...

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 13/10/2023 13:22

You're not wrong in my book. This is why I can't be bothered with people, honestly.

Pinkpinkplonk · 13/10/2023 13:23

I agree, people are weird!

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SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 13/10/2023 13:26

Your first example was friend being flakey, at best, but sounds like she has form for it?
Second example could also be flakiness. Can't be bothered with flakey people, but there are a few of them about! Sounds like it isn't a 'you' problem, as people are approaching you for social stuff, voluntarily, then not following through. Tis very annoying isn't it.

littleripper · 13/10/2023 13:39

I have found this is a new 'thing'. And I can't be fucked with it. If they don't get back to me and confirm I make other plans and tell them I thought it was not going ahead. Likewise when I make a firm plan with someone "I'll meet you at Piccadilly station at 2pm on Friday, in from of WH Smiths" and they reply "I wil be there" or similar and then I get a text asking "Are you still on for this, I'm having a busy day and would like to rearrange" at 1pm, when I am already in the city etc. I just bin those people off now tbh. I am not lacking in friends and have an excessive amount of siblings/in laws, cousins etc so it doesn't really impact me. I am sorry this is happening to you.

Lentilweaver · 13/10/2023 14:35

Ah not just me. I just find it odd that people approach me to meet, then flake. I would totally understand if other way around. The first friend is always very busy busy busy, so I am assuming that something came up for her.

Sadly, I have no family in the UK and not enough friends. But still not worth putting up with flakes.

OP posts:
Pinkpinkplonk · 13/10/2023 15:23

Better no friends than bad friends. You’ll meet your people, be patient. Sending love..

Missedmytoe · 13/10/2023 17:10

It's rude, flaky and annoying. If you don't want to meet, own that. If you have no intention of going somewhere don't say you will. If you're not going to follow through, don't instigate a meet up.

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