Where do 39yr old women find friends?

[PabloandGustheGreySquirrels]

39, widowed, one child, no friends. Barely any family at all (none of my late DH's family bother anymore either). I am so, so incredibly lonely. For reasons I won’t go into due to the validity of it getting picked apart, I can’t work - at all (health related). Nope, can't do anything at all.
So 6 days out of 7, I'm stuck in the house, lonely & miserable. Sometimes 7 if my child doesn't fancy a trip out anywhere or I'm not well enough to leave the house.

8 years now. For 8 years I've managed to find ways to be content with my own company and found ways to occupy myself. But I'm truly fed up now.
I'm not yet ready to meet another man romantically so respectfully, please don't suggest that. Not yet.

I just need friends and the few times I've tried Peanut & Mush (apps for mums/women to meet friends. Kind of like Tinder for friends) I've not had any responses, despite having a perfectly upbeat and nice profile. Sigh.....

It's me isn't it? I'm broken.

I am 51 , and still making friends. I WFH mostly, so work friends ruled out. I have a thread about my mission somewhere but can't find it now, so briefly, I have
Started my own book club
Volunteer
Hit up people on Twitter and suggested meeting
Joined a choir
Joined a movie club

Some things are more successful than others. I also don't have rules. I am open to making friends with anyone, including younger people, single people, whoever as long as we share interests. Of course, I am in London, so much easier, I think.

WI. Seriously, I have made so many friends and acquaintances there. Ours is a modern one with loads going on. Whereabouts are you? Check out the ones near you, you might be surprised!

What is WI??

Voluntary work in charity shop or for Hospital or hospice work. Knit and natter group. Join fundraising group for local charities to help raise money.
Stick with it, you won't make friends instantly. Some people for various reasons wont be receptive to forming new friendships but eventually you will meet like minded people.

Womens Institute

Book club.

WI = Women's Institute.
If you'd told me a few years ago that I'd be going to the WI I'd have laughed. But it's been brilliant. I was lonely after the pandemic and wanted to meet new people, specifically women. It helps that ours is a busy one. They aren't all the same, but worth checking out.
There is also a virtual WI in some areas if you struggle to attend meetings in person.

I've moved to new areas in my 30s, and had most success making friends at groups based around a shared interest. That way, you already have something in common with the other people there - the activity you're doing - so there isn't the pressure to find other common interests initially like there might be on specific friendship apps. My clubs were sports and book groups, because that's what I'm interested in. My mum has quite a lot of good friends from art classes/clubs. As PPs have said, the friendships don't form immediately but if there are things you like doing anyway, then you might be motivated to keep going for the activity and then find you've made friends.

I agree about common interests.
That said, its often up to me to do the running, and sometimes I get tired of it. Like today.

Hi, as you were widowed under the age of 50 you might find widowedandyoung.org.uk helpful. It doesn't matter when you were widowed, as long as you were under 50 at the time. Lots of people in similar position to you, often with the same experience of friends and family not bothering anymore. There's a forum on the website and also a Facebook page but you have to be a member to join that. Online events and in person too, including holidays. Membership is £25 a year I think. Might be worth a look. I joined when my husband died 7 years ago and it was a lifeline for me.

I also went to one of these a few times and made a friend there who I go for coffee with
https://www.placesofwelcome.org.uk/

"Places of Welcome are run by local community groups who want everyone in their neighbourhoods to have a safe place to go for a friendly face, a cup of tea and a conversation, to belong, connect and contribute."

Some are held in religious buildings but they are not religious meetings (as far as I know. Mine wasn't). It is because these buildings are accessible.

You've nothing to lose. Even if you don't like it, you've tried it and got a free cup of tea and a biscuit!

Can you do sport? A team? A running group? A walking group even?

I’ll be your friend! Where abouts are you? Motherhood can be lonely xx

I'd say mutual interests, sports are always good, but if you're too sick to leave the house to work then you would probably be too ill to do a lot of them (although some more sedentary ones like crafts you might be lucky but depends whether they're your cup of tea).
So sorry for your predicament.

Check out your local library, I relocated a couple of years ago, my local library, runs coffee mornings, exercise groups, toddler groups, charity mornings. It has helped me make friends. Sending best wishes OP

As well as friends from work I have female friends from the school gate, antenatal groups, hobbies (craft, book club and exercise groups), my own old school friends, DH's friends wives and also another WI fan! Might any of those work for you?

Church / religious groups
interest / hobby groups
sports clubs and teams
volunteering

Check out the MeetUp website - you can filter by your location and interests.

Where are you from OP?

If you can't work, what are your capabilities physically?

Could you volunteer? I'm thinking making tea at the local old folk's day centre/helping at the food bank/being a Marshall at park run/helping at a toddler's playgroup? All these would bring you into contact with people and increase your chances of making friends, as well as make you feel useful/boost self esteem.

Meet up is quite good if you can walk - otherwise they can be mostly evening events.

Hi I'm near York

Near York.

Apologies for disappearing, I developed an awful fever on the school run and had to try my best to sleep when I got home. Had a chest infection on & off for weeks and it seems to have ramped up. Shivering 🥶

Love this, thank you