If you had a friend that often messaged first but then didn't reply...

[Celia24]

I have a close friend like this. We've always had have great two way conversations.

For the last 6 months or so, this friend will send messages asking for my opinion on something or asking questions and when I reply they drop the conversation. Then a few weeks later same thing happens and again once I reply conversation dropped.

I'm at the point where I want to either stop replying or ask why do you keep doing this? But that seems a bit dramatic doesn't it - would you bother saying anything?

But is it intended to be the start of a conversation, or is she just asking your opinion, you give it, that's the end of the interaction as far as she's concerned.

@DressingRoom but this is never how it was in the past. She would send something like this, I'd reply and we've have a back and forth interaction.

It keeps the friendship going a bit between meets because since she moved we don't see as much of each other.

Not the end of the world but I actually put thought into the replies. So it's like we don't have conversations anymore and she doesn't do calls really!

I've got friends who do this. They'll message, "What are you up to?" and I'll reply and ask about them but don't hear anything for a few months, when I get the same message again!

I’d wonder whether she’s struggling a bit. Maybe she’s trying to maintain that contact with you, but just doesn’t have the mental energy to carry it on after an initial text. It’s not normal for her, so it sounds like something is going on.

It sounds like she wants to be in touch with you but then loses steam?

Do you know how she's doing? Life gets in the way sometimes, I try to give my friends the benefit of the doubt.

I stop replying, tbh.

This

It sounds like good intentions versus busy life.

I would be inclined to ask her opinion in reply before offering yours or suggest a phone call to discuss it next time she does this.

It doesn't sound very fulfilling like this - I wouldn't carry on doing what you are doing (replying and then getting nothing back).

Oh dear, I had one of those friends too. Note past tense. She's send me a ' How are you ' message and once I'd responded, nothing. Crickets. Or she'd ask for advice on a situation and I'd send a well thought out considered reply, and again nothing. What an absolute waste of time. I figured out she wanted me in her contact list as a friend but didn't want to put in any effort to maintain a friendship, so in her eyes a quick text was sufficient. alongside consecutive cancelled meet ups and a complete disinterest in knowing anything about my life was enough for me to call it a day. I don't miss her one bit - well, what's there to miss?!

They could be very busy but it’s odd to not get back at all, not even later on.

I think they want the information they’ve asked for from you, but they’re not particularly interested in giving anything back.

I have a one-sided friend like this and I just keep her at arm’s length because it’s clear she’s not invested.

Friendships like that are fine, as long as you don’t put too much of your own energy into interactions and get upset when there’s no return.