I am knocking 61, DH is 66, we have retired comfortably however I hate waste...... .................

[STOPDisregardingMe]

I came from not a lot, and to be fair neither did he....

Mortgage always paid

Food on the table

Shod and clothed......all four of us. (in my case)

On both sides they made no provision for old age, all sibs had to pitch in to keep them afloat....

I (we) have always made sure that we as a result always had a bloody good back up plan, we have a decent final salary pension between us and another pension pot not to be touched for five years, by some peoples standards we are thriving, and I genuinely feel that we are....

However if we need to get something done for example to the house, I will ask for the best price etc.,

Currently, we need a new alarm system, I knew the initial price was a rip off, I played hard ball, alarm man refused to budge I backed off, he has eventually caved and yesterday offered a reduction of £300. (Only took three months 🙄)

Came off the phone elated and all I got from DH was a grudging urghh......

We are normally a great couple and work really well together.

I asked several times today (nicely) why he was so grudging... he just shrugged.

I am in charge of all finances, so tonight I have moved the savings into my boots and bags account,( this is a tiny account containing money my Godmother left me last year) DH won't even notice the movement of funds.

Not something I would normally do, and in a day or two I will probably move it back to general funds, but tonight it felt like a fuck you buddy.....😡

If you have read this far, thank you.

And that post was easier than falling out with my generally lovely DH. 😂

This is all kinds of crazy.

You do realise there is something in between 'falling out' and doing weird passive aggressive shit like moving money around?

You know like having a conversation?

Why would him not being effusive with gratitude over this saving make you so angry?

I absolutely hate when my dh haggled people coming to do a job for us. It's OK to do it for about 5mins..or 2 but after that l squirm and just want to run. As a teacher my salary is my salary..no discussion and l like to treat other peoples work with the same respect. If dh came to me saying he had knocked 300 off a guy after pinning him to awall for 3 months l would have zero admiration and be like your dh.

I’m the same age as you and also come from a very humble background but I really don’t admire your attitude at all.

It’s one thing to shop around for good deals but quite another to exploit workers who are trying to make a living to feather your already ample bed.

You may think you’re good with money but you actually come across as tight and Scrooge like (and controlling). Why would you even think about moving the money just to spite your husband because he wasn’t giving you enough adoration for effing about for three months for the sake of £300. That money could actually have made a difference to the alarm fitter, which I assume is not a six figure salary job.

Sounds like you are too young and sparky to retire tbh. Your life has got too small.
Go back to work PT.

Is your freezer full of yellow stickered loaves of the cheapest nastiest bread and the fridge with flavourless, snooker ball tomatoes because they were cheaper 'and they're just the same as the more expensive ones, anybody who wastes their money on anything more is an idiot'?

It's where you're heading if you aren't there already. A joyless, flavourless, bereft of comfort existence.

Wow you’re petty

This was my thought too

This is making me cringe for all the reasons mentioned above. If you wanted it cheaper, you should have gone elsewhere. If no one could do it cheaper, you should have paid the market price, which will include the system and VAT (both of which are non negotiable) as well as the fitter’s skills and experience. I would not be impressed if I were in your husband’s place either.

i can’t stand people who are tight with money ,it’s a very unattractive quality

Probably this.

I find it fun to save a bit of money, although I won't haggle with workmen actually as I wouldn't have accepted haggling over my wage either. But when it starts to dominate life it's usually a bit dull or even off-putting to other people.

If you have that much free time it's probably worth looking at getting a more interesting hobby.

So this bloke is going to be working in your home? Won't you feel embarrassed?

Being retired at 61 because you are miserly is a decision that you have made but it's not one I would expect other people to celebrate.

If you have sole charge of finances then just do it.
DH is in sole charge of laundry. It took him a while to realise I wasn't going to say thank you every week for the rest of time for doing this task.

I'm the same OP. I've always taken from the poor to make myself richer. I don't stop at haggling with workmen though, I just take the money directly from people's pockets.

Why would anyone want to pay a fair wage to working people when they can just rob the poor and retire. It's important to me that I have everything I want but I don't want to work or pay for it.

Get your husband to make a movie about your achievements so that everyone knows. Insist that you are played by a sexy cartoon fox though.

What a lovely, heartwarming story

Haggle for goods, not for time... a car, OK... but £300 off somebody's time means they do a £300 cheaper job of it.

An alarm sounds like very unneccessary spending
You could set up RING doorbells in a couple of points for much less and it would have the same impact.

You need to rethink your attitude to money . Tightness is not a nice trait . Beating a tradesman on price is not about waste but about
' winning ' to do over someone in a very difficult cost of living crisis .
As for moving your savings no words .

The alarm guy quoted, OP said no thanks, 3 months later the alarm guy came back and said I can do for £300 less. Wtf has OP done wrong? The pile on here is incredible.

Your title says you have retired comfortably but hate waste.

I thought this was going to be about best before dates or something but your problem is that your husband didn't praise you for getting a workman to reduce his quote by £300.

Where is the hating waste part of the problem?

Maybe your frugality has become so large in your thinking and actions, that its pushing over into a preoccupation and hes starting to feel like hes living with a pennypincher? Its very tedious to be living with someone who turns pennies over ten times before spending. Being careful with money is admirable, but it mustnt become an obsession - do you manage to enjoy what you have as well as zealously safeguard it? Your actions in moving money to your account as some kind of passive aggressive punishment or statement about his behaviour suggest to me that maybe your relationship with money has started to become disproportionate and unhealthy.

I think you need to get out more.............

Why don't you simply have it out with him? Tell him how you feel about that reaction.

I think you sound quite difficult to live with OP.

Its great that you got a cheaper deal but it’s taken 3 months and your DH is probably sick to the back teeth of hearing about it.

I would never have waited 3 months for someone to drop the price.
I would have perhaps haggled and then gone somewhere cheaper if they wouldn’t offer me a discount/ I couldn’t afford it.

You come across as very stubborn to not budge for 3 months but then moving money to different accounts to be passive aggressive just because your DH didn’t show you enough gratitude, is pretty weird.

I think this situation should perhaps allow you to reflect on your personality and see if there are aspects of it that are controlling and make the necessary changes.

Alarm
systems are a total waste of cash.

Do not believe for one minute that people actually call the police if they go off and believe me any darn thing sets them off.

So be prepared to irritate and annoy your neighbours when it randomly goes off!

My very elderly father (who I do love very much) absolutely hates spending money. It’s not a nice trait. I cannot bear hearing stories from him (or others) about how they saved money at someone else’s expense. I want to yell ‘you can’t take it with you’ at him. Obviously I don’t. Your husband is probably thinking something similar.
But OP really, you say you are comfortably off. Maybe try giving back? Volunteer for a charity or something. Don’t spend your last 20/30 years making saving money (that you will have to leave behind anyway) your occupation.