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Original poster

How to deal with class bully?

31 replies

fuffa · 11/10/2023 18:54

DS10 was kicked in the stomach at school today by the class bully and has bruising to the area.

This boy is well known for his behaviour. He goes round each of the boys in turn making their lives a misery and tries to divide and conquer by isolating and ostracising them from their group of friends.

Just before summer the police were involved by another boy's mum as he was being relentlessly bullied by this kid in and out of school. The parents seem reasonable and have been up to the school several times but still it continues.

There is a long list of misdemeanors that go back a couple of years, both directed at my DS and the others at different times. The school have been involved and have said all the right things but when there's not a teacher or parent around this boy reverts back to his bullying ways.

It happens to be parents' evening tonight so I will be mentioning today's incident to his teacher.

Does anyone have any other advice?

OP posts:
RingALingADingDong · 11/10/2023 18:58

Your son was assaulted , go to the police & inform the school
School policies and power can't deal with this effectively

tarheelbaby · 11/10/2023 19:05

Go to the police. Make an almighty fuss. No child should have to deal with that. And if he's 10, it's PRIMARY school!! Teachers and SLT need to be doing more. They must protect the other pupils.

On the other side, it shouldn't be necessary, but now that the boys are aware, can they band together and support each other - make sure no boy is left on his own, keep in twos or threes or more? When the bully starts, can the friends join together and shut down the bully? All of them refuse to join in his verbal or physical attack so leave the bully hanging. A few stay for protection and one slips off quickly to find an adult?

Can you contact other parents to agree a scheme of non-violence but vigilance between your sons (and daughters - girls could help too)?

Cowlover89 · 11/10/2023 19:12

Go to the police

cushioncovers · 11/10/2023 19:20

Protect your son, he should feel safe at school, report this to the school and the police

henrysugar12 · 11/10/2023 19:27

Go to the police. The school won't like it, but you have to think about the welfare of your child. The school is not safeguarding your child.

Also, follow the school's complaints process and if still no improvement then report to ofsted.

evergreener · 11/10/2023 19:29

why haven't you gone to the police? The school can't deal with criminal behaviour, and it is not their job.

Original poster
fuffa · 11/10/2023 19:30

Thank you. I should be going to the school tonight to hear about how well he's doing and instead I'm going to be talking about this. I'll likely burst into tears through frustration.

OP posts:
Original poster
fuffa · 11/10/2023 19:33

evergreener · 11/10/2023 19:29

why haven't you gone to the police? The school can't deal with criminal behaviour, and it is not their job.

I haven't had a chance yet. My husband found out when collecting him from school then I found out at 6pm when I finished work. Since then they've both been out at his usual extra-curricular activity and I have my younger child to look after. It's straight back out to parents' evening shortly when they get back. I've hardly had a chance to speak to my husband properly about it, just a snatched 5 mins then I called him for 10 mins while he was with DS at the activity.

OP posts:
Hadebough · 11/10/2023 19:34

evergreener · 11/10/2023 19:29

why haven't you gone to the police? The school can't deal with criminal behaviour, and it is not their job.

dealing with bullying is their job surely???

DameEtna · 11/10/2023 19:34

Police - this is assault and at 10 kids know it is wrong.

If it was a one off and the teachers and parents were taking steps to avoid it happening again and to safeguard the other kids then maybe police would be a step too far. But that's not the case here.

LakeTiticaca · 11/10/2023 19:46

Someone a bit bigger and a bit harder needs to "have a word"

topnoddy · 11/10/2023 19:51

When I was bullied many years ago I found a smack in the mouth knocking out 3 of his teeth worked wonders !

Probably not a good idea these days though .

School first then police

ChocolateIsntTheSameAnymore · 11/10/2023 20:08

The right thing is go to the school and police.
However as a kid i was bullied by a group of kids, one time i snapped. Punched the ring leader smack in the face with all my strength.
They never touched me again. In fact wanted me in their 'gang' i was 11/12.
Totally wrong but worked!

Original poster
fuffa · 12/10/2023 11:59

Police can do nothing, he's under the age of criminal responsibility so therefore there is no crime apparently!

OP posts:
peachescariad · 12/10/2023 12:05

This child needs to be expelled.

Ask the school for their anti-bullying policy. In there will lay out the procedures the school should follow including seclusion, fixed term suspension and expulsion.

henrysugar12 · 12/10/2023 12:10

fuffa · 12/10/2023 11:59

Police can do nothing, he's under the age of criminal responsibility so therefore there is no crime apparently!

So he's 9 and bullying old kids?

Username82y · 12/10/2023 12:23

10 is the age of criminal responsibility. Get the police, school governors and Ofsted involved. This is both a criminal assault and a failure to safeguard both the other children in the class and the boy who is carrying out these assaults.

RosesAndGin · 12/10/2023 12:51

It's probably just the way you have worded your post but I wouldn't be 'mentioning' anything. I would be going into school demanding action!
At the very least the bully should be suspended from school leading to exclusion if his behaviour doesn't improve.
Don't be passive about this, schools tend to say the right thing whilst doing nothing, don't let them!

Hadebough · 12/10/2023 17:44

henrysugar12 · 12/10/2023 12:10

So he's 9 and bullying old kids?

Show quote history

I mean he could be 9 and in the same school year as a 10 year old it's hardly older kids if they're a few months apart is it ?

CalamityA · 12/10/2023 17:46

I'd be having a 'word' with the mother at this point.

Original poster
fuffa · 12/10/2023 20:44

Both boys are 10. We're in Scotland if that makes a difference. I spoke to the community police officer today.

I wrote a strongly worded letter to the Head last night after parents evening was a disaster and DS's teacher was very dismissive.

We had a meeting with the head today who talked a lot but on reflection I don't think there was much substance to it. I need to think on it more.

OP posts:
EllaPaella · 12/10/2023 20:47

If you don't feel school are being effective in their management of bullying of other children that is occurring in school then the board of governors may be the next step, make a formal complaint to the school? It absolutely is their responsibility - they have a duty of care to your child while he is at school.

evergreener · 12/10/2023 20:48

fuffa · 12/10/2023 11:59

Police can do nothing, he's under the age of criminal responsibility so therefore there is no crime apparently!

I thought you said he was 10? Where do you live? The age of criminal responsibility is 10 in most of the UK

Username82y · 12/10/2023 20:52

It's 12 in Scotland.

Complain to the governors and education scotland next.

evergreener · 12/10/2023 20:57

Are you in Scotland OP?

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