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Original poster

I've woken up annoyed and stupid but need to not be today

32 replies

WokeUpAnnoyed · 11/10/2023 06:03

We have a visit from a higher up today. It's quite an important visit and determines the future of the site. We were sent a list of questions and i went through them with my boss last night. There was one question I admittedly should have known the answer to and didnt.
Previously always been ~told~ this. I have asked former managers how this is calculated/known but 1st manager never discussed numbers. 2nd manager used to crow about knowing everything and gate kept information to make themselves look better. Current manager has told me to go find it.
Not knowing is going to make me look stupid today.
I cant find it. I have looked on all reports for hours last night at home. Not knowing the exact way it is calculated means I don't know if I am looking in the right place, what numbers I need.
I now feel stupid.
I have worked over and above for this company and I feel stupid and incompetent. It isnt like I havent asked, repeatedly, how to get this information.
I have even asked the higher ups how to do something and was told "its just a feeling" wtf?
I then get told I am not ready for the next step. But if people gatekeep then I will never be ready. I am willing to learn and once told how to do something, I can.
I now have to make myself feel stupid again by asking how to do something or for the information directly because I couldn't find it, minutes before the meeting. Which will piss off my boss as they have better things to do with their time than 1)my feelings and 2)me failing to find it. So they will tell me the info, but I wont have time to understand how we got it.
So I'm gonna feel stupid and boss is gonna be annoyed.
I need to get out of this funk.

OP posts:
decionsdecisions62 · 11/10/2023 06:10

So you need to know it by the morning. It's not going to happen. Can you fudge it? 'It's not a question of numbers, it's about.....' Turn it round on them sort of thing? Or 'there have been issues getting data for that calculation but I'm working with X on this ' It's tricky without knowing your area.

FrancisSeaton · 11/10/2023 06:12

Just call in sick. Have a Netflix and duvet day it sounds like you need it

Glovesandscarf · 11/10/2023 06:16

She can’t phone in sick!
it sounds as if you’re going for promotion? So definitely don’t call in. Probably for now do as pp suggests about turning it round, or as you say, just ask your boss.
then see if you can find somewhere better to work. There are often things in work that are a feeling, usually based on experience of similar situations. If you aren’t getting the similar experience to go on, you’re going to struggle.

MissSmiley · 11/10/2023 06:17

Just say that's not something I'm privee to, but I know someone who can help you with that!

Glovesandscarf · 11/10/2023 06:20

Oh and good luck!

Original poster
WokeUpAnnoyed · 11/10/2023 06:23

It cant be turned around unfortunately. It's one number. What is this? X.
I should know it. If I knew how to calculate it I could work it out.
I'm not going for promotion. I dont want promotion, just get told that I am not ready. It's a natural conversation that happens in my position. I did say to my boss just a few weeks ago in was not interested in promotion, but quite happy to step up when they arent there. (And have done so in the past) Then in the meeting last night boss said in a second you will have a meeting with the higher ups about the next step so you need to know this. Again, no meeting planned, no interest in promotion. Why keep saying that when we both know I'm not interested. And higher up has no interest in promoting me either! Yes it's a natural step but I am happy where I am. I just need to know how to do this ONE thing.

But thank you all for responding with suggestions, it is appreciated.

OP posts:
Original poster
WokeUpAnnoyed · 11/10/2023 06:25

Glovesandscarf · 11/10/2023 06:20

Oh and good luck!

Thank you

OP posts:
Notcookie · 11/10/2023 06:27

Remember that you're not stupid. They have chosen to keep this information from you.

I would write an email to your manager or whoever is appropriate clearly saying that you cannot calculate this number because, despite repeated asking, you have not been given the necessary information to be able to calculate it.

moose62 · 11/10/2023 06:29

I think, if asked the question, i would be honest and just say "that's an answer I would also like as I have asked repeatedly, and no one seems to know!". It might not stop you feeling foolish but the bosses will then be put on the spot as well. You can't answer what you don't know.

Littlegreene82 · 11/10/2023 06:29

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
WokeUpAnnoyed · 11/10/2023 06:30

Glovesandscarf · 11/10/2023 06:16

She can’t phone in sick!
it sounds as if you’re going for promotion? So definitely don’t call in. Probably for now do as pp suggests about turning it round, or as you say, just ask your boss.
then see if you can find somewhere better to work. There are often things in work that are a feeling, usually based on experience of similar situations. If you aren’t getting the similar experience to go on, you’re going to struggle.

I've had the experiences, as in been there, which is the only time a certain other number (not this one) comes up. And each and every time I ask, well how did you get to that figure? "It's a feeling." "I wont say as I might be wrong we will find out how close I am when the final figure is published" so I'm there, they all have predictions and I am like <shrug shoulders> I ask, I get nothing back as it's a stressful situation. We get the final number and it's ok so we move on. Until next time. Rinse, repeat.
I do learn so much from my current manager, they are great. It's just I hate feeling stupid. Cos I know I am not.

OP posts:
Glovesandscarf · 11/10/2023 06:33

That sounds bonkers! If it’s an estimate they’re looking for, & final numbers aren’t in, I would choose a previous number & use that.
when they ask how you arrived at it, use the ‘feeling’ line.

lionsleepstonight · 11/10/2023 06:33

What is the one thing? Maybe it's something other MNs calculate in their jobs, so they can tell you what you need to work it out?

Underminer · 11/10/2023 06:33

If asked. explain that you have asked repeatedly for the information but it has never been shared, you also cannot find it anywhere. Then congratulate them on their excellent cyber and information security, which is something you have always admired about the company.

Good luck.

sorrynotathome · 11/10/2023 06:35

This doesn’t make sense to me. If you don’t want the promotion just say you don’t know the answer. It’s not like you’re going to get fired. Or tell the truth - you don’t know how people “guesstimate” this number and no one will guide you.

decionsdecisions62 · 11/10/2023 06:37

How about you give them a figure. Are your bosses really going to challenge you in front of the senior high up folks ( whoever they are)? Afterwords revise it when the stupid fu stop pissing about and give you the information you need.

EVHead · 11/10/2023 06:42

Is it possible your colleagues don’t know either?! Sounds like a lot of obfuscation!

pinkdelight · 11/10/2023 06:50

And each and every time I ask, well how did you get to that figure? "It's a feeling.

That's so weird, like you're a young padawan who cant possibly grasp it until you've attained Jedi status. Or like Neo in the Matrix. If they ask you just say "There is no spoon/number."

Seriously though, it's not you being stupid and you're right to be annoyed, but just be honest if asked today. "I'd love to know but nobody will tell you how it's calculated. Seems to be a secret, could you let me in on it, please?"

Heyhoherewegoagain · 11/10/2023 06:56

It sounds like the magic number is manipulative power play by management

Mamette · 11/10/2023 06:56

Is this rate of something per annum or something like that? I think you might just have to throw your colleague under the bus here. Preferably in front of them- will they be at the meeting?

Refer to the unknown quantity and say that your colleague has yet to share the info- can they advise?

LadyLolaRuben · 11/10/2023 06:57

I'd just answer truthfully. That you're unable to obtain a definitive answer. Explain how you would manage this situation given the context of not knowing - feeling, consultation with others etc.

Make it clear that you're not mystic Meg and demonstrate how you would manage around the dilemma.

Good luck.

Long term if your employer wants you to do something but won't tell you how, I'd leave as they're setting you up to fail

decionsdecisions62 · 11/10/2023 07:03

I think this workplace is odd and it looks like it's undermining your confidence in yourself. They are gaslighting you. F* them over.

Readingineading · 11/10/2023 07:10

I worked under someone who loved to keep key information to herself ( because she was crap at her job) . Id just be honest, when asked
" I cant explain that , I have myself asked for an explanation but none has been forthcoming"
I did this on many occasions.

EarringsandLipstick · 11/10/2023 07:35

FrancisSeaton · 11/10/2023 06:12

Just call in sick. Have a Netflix and duvet day it sounds like you need it

What an odd suggestion.

EarringsandLipstick · 11/10/2023 07:36

LadyLolaRuben · 11/10/2023 06:57

I'd just answer truthfully. That you're unable to obtain a definitive answer. Explain how you would manage this situation given the context of not knowing - feeling, consultation with others etc.

Make it clear that you're not mystic Meg and demonstrate how you would manage around the dilemma.

Good luck.

Long term if your employer wants you to do something but won't tell you how, I'd leave as they're setting you up to fail

All of this.