Anti-depressant help

[LouLou198]

Just over a year ago I started Citalopram. Not for depression but my GP recommend to help me copy with a constant feeling of overwhelm. By July I was feeling much better, so weaned off them. The feeling of constant overwhelm has crept back in though, and at the moment I feel worse than ever.
I work 25 hrs a week in a both physically and mentally demanding job. I do everything related to the house and carry the mental load for everything. I have 2 children, 7 and 11. DH works full time. He truly believes it is okay for him to not do anything to help as he works full time. This argument has gone on for many years. There will never be a resolve so I just need to live with it. Most recently he has said he will only pull his weight if I go full time (which logistically would be very difficult is I do school runs). He has also said if I was a single mother I would have to do it all anyway.
I feel like my only option is to go back in medication, but I feel I don't want to have to be medicated just to get through "normal" life. I have been getting dc to do some chores around the house but it's just the tip of the iceberg. Any advice or stories of similar experiences would be appreciated.

It’s very unlikely that he will step up once you go full time. You have a DH problem there.
What you need to work out is whether you want to stay with him, and if your MH problems are caused by him or not.

Medication isn't a way of coping with injustice or turning you into a superwoman who can bear an excessive load.
I think you need to separate two issues - your possible depression and your husband's unreasonableness.
I don't think citalopram can actually lift mood unless you are suffering from depression, so perhaps there is/was an element of that. But it sounds like you have much more to deal with too. I'm furious on your behalf. I hope you are able to get your husband to see what he is doing. I never can.
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You'd actually have less to do as a single parent because you wouldn't have his mess, dinner or laundry to deal with. You wouldn't be coping with the awful disappointment and resentment about how lazy and uncaring he is weighing you down either.

Thank you for your responses. I know I have a DH problem but I couldn't bear to be without dc for half the week, and cause them so much disruption because I "can't cope". I'm wondering if I would be better taking medication for their sake. DH thinks that because I have a nice house and nice car (which I am very grateful for) that I have nothing to complain about. When the truth is I am absolutely exhausted and could burst into tears at any moment just thinking about how much I need to get done.

@LouLou198 definitely a DH problem but if you don't have depression then could you speak to GP about some anti anxiety meds that you only have to take when you get the feeling of anxiety?

Go and talk to your gp about how you are feeling.
His mentality of owning nice things does not equate to you should be grateful, oh please.
He needs to nurture, support, and work as a team to support his family around the home.
Stop washing, cooking and doing what you usually do and only for the children.

You wouldn't be coping with the awful disappointment and resentment about how lazy and uncaring he is weighing you down either.

Yes, this. Resentment and anger are an absolutely massive part of the mental load that so many women have to bear. They turn every other part of the mental load into a double burden -- the burden of the task itself plus the burden of fury at being left unsupported with it.
I've been feeling these emotions towards my husband for decades, and I have somehow to accept that he won't change. So I often feel like I simply want to excise resentment/anger from my head so that (in effect) I halve my mental load (though the physical load would remain constant). It feels like wanting a lobotomy to create compliance. I don't know where to go with thinking like this.

I think that you should take medication for yours and your family’s sake. Then, when it’s kicked in and you’re in a better place, make the decision on your marriage.

I agree with @DustyLee123 Go back on the meds so they can help your feelings of being overwhelmed (citalopram isn't just used for depression) and then take some time to decide how you want to move forward. I think you need to give some serious consideration to leaving your husband because he sounds like he's massively detrimental to both your mental and physical health.

And it’s very unlikely that your DH would want the kids 50% anyway.

Thank you for your responses.
@Mumtime2 I've tried to stop doing washing etc but clothea will just pile up on the floor until he literally runs out of clothes. Then he gets all huffy about putting a wash on because it's not his "job".
I've taken a Citalopram, feeling a bit woozy now but it will wear off. The alternative is just too difficult to think about at the moment. I know it's no solution to the problem but it makes it more bearable for me. I think I just need to accept this is how things are if I want to keep the family together.