Would you start your DD with ballet classes in this situation?

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DD (6) has been asking to do ballet classes for ages. She does swimming and gymnastics currently and wants to do ballet instead of gym. She watches lots of dance films etc and for 6 months or so has been asking to do ballet. A friend of hers does it and her mum mentioned you could go to the school on a Saturday to watch the class to check she would be into it- DD was there and asked if we could do this so we went along on Saturday to watch for a bit.

The teachers were lovely but its a proper old school ballet school- parents dont usually watch, strict on uniform and from the short observation they are v strict on form so it goes quite slowly with lots of repetition and adjustment of technique. DD was super keen after and wanted to sign up but I have slight reservations. DD is very active, loves running, bouldering, loves flipping about during gymnastics. I worry she will find ballet quite slow and repetitive quite quickly in comparison.

Additionally it's not cheap- the termly fees arent too but but the outlay for uniform (which they want you to have) is £100 odd and then you have to give half a terms notice if they want to leave.

What would you do? Would you let her give it a go? We arent wealthy by any stretch but could afford it if she would love it. I worry she will lose her gymnastics place and not get it back if she changed her mind in 3/6 months (there is a waiting list for gymnastics and we cant afford for her to do both).

But she is 6 and I dont want to decide for her she won't like it when she thinks she will (and might love it!!)

WWYD?

No, I wouldn’t do it. Is there another dance class around where it’s pay as you go ?

I would find her a different, cheaper ballet class to go to.

There should be loads of options for 6 year olds ballet classes. Find a more relaxed little dance school or village hall one.

I would tell her she can try ballet lessons at a cheaper place and if she really loves it after 3 months, she can transfer to the more expensive one.

Tell her no. She's committed go gymnastics now, she has chosen that and can stay with it. She has to understand she can't have everything she wants. She has a hobby she loves. What if she gets bored of ballet and you've spent all that money?

I say this as someone who did ballet from 3 years old all the way through to 14. It was a cheerless thing to do. So bloody strict.

I'm a big believer in letting kids choose their own hobbies, I think if she wants to give up gym to do ballet, you should let her. I suspect that in her mind that decision is already made so her enthusiasm for gymnastics will wane from here on in. Also at 6 she might be growing out of that constant on-the-go physicality, something more controlled might be right for her. As you grow up sports become much more about the tactical/mental side anyway.

I've also accepted that sometimes letting kids explore what they are interested in involves a certain amount of money down the drain. If she's not changing her mind every other week then I think you should be zen about the idea that it's money you might not get back, but she will learn something about her self in the trying.

Having said all that thought the class sounds like HELL, are there any others locally you could go and observe to see if she could be persuaded to attend a different one? Does it have to be this particular one?

I’m not sure what you were expecting from a ballet class - it’s all about form and discipline, that’s kind of the point! Perhaps look for a jazz/modern/musical theatre/ street dance type class which is a bit more “free” - but in any form of dance there will always be an element of having to stand still, listen, copy and repeat endlessly in order to master the skills.

I'd let her choose.

What's the worst that can happen? She has to wait a bit to go back to gym.

It's illogical to say no to something she wants to do now in case in future she changes her mind.

If she has to wait, she'll live. If she likes the ballet that's good, if she doesn't she'll learn something about herself.

Explain all the parameters and if she ends up in tears waiting to go back to gym, be emotionally supportive while she waits.

If she wants to give up gym for ballet I’d let her. It’s highly unlikely either would ever more than a hobby so why shouldn’t she get to choose? A good idea might be to ask the dance school if they would agree to a trial class so she can make sure it’s definitely what she wants before you withdraw from gymnastics. And my DD is super active, loves running, most of her friends are boys etc but she also absolutely loves ballet. She does it 3 times a week, one is a very strict syllabus class with all the uniform requirements eg hair must be in a classical bun and that is her favourite. By contrast she’s tried street dance and gymnastics and hated both. She really knows her mind even at 6 so I wouldn’t doubt her and assume I know better.

Fully appreciate that! I didn’t do ballet so I didn’t realise quite how ‘strict’ it is and as I sat there it just didn’t feel very DD!

That sounds like a standard ballet class op! Dts went to my old school when they were in y1. After a couple of terms it was clear they weren't ballet kids, it was too structured for them. They moved to gymnastics and then horses ££££. A couple of kids in their class moved into street dance and cheer.

I'd let her do a term (Vinted for uniform) and see how she goes.

Let her try it. Kids won't commit a lifetime to every hobby they try as children and neither should they.

Dd2 ditched all her other activities to focus on dance when she went back after covid. She's nearly 11 and she's doing 3.5 hours a week now and loving it. We tried martial arts, gymnastics, swimming, trampolining and so on. She liked all them and gained a lot but dance is her thing.

Also - Is it an RAD uniform? If it is you’ll be able to find it easily enough second hand because so many ballet schools use the same stuff.

She’s 6. She can flip flop in and out of clubs as much as she likes at this age. If she did decide to go back into gym she might have to wait a month or two or she could go to a different club (there are different types of gymnastics). Clubs when they’re little are about letting them explore what they’re interested in. 99.99% of people who take ballet or gym at that age will not make a career out of it, so I’d definitely let her try a term to see if she enjoys it. And don’t try to find a cheaper one. Let her go to the good one with her friends.

That's the thing I am more than happy to let her try things and do not expect her to be a professional anything really! Just enjoy it and have a nice hobby. I guess my concern is that ballet is more of a commitment than other things but as pp have said it's worth letting her try.
I might speak to the ballet school about my reservations and see if she could do half a term without uniform or whether they have a second hand catalogue she could borrow/we could buy from before committing.

I agree it sounds fairly standard for a ballet class.

What's the worst that can happen? She has to wait a bit to go back to gym

Very true but the wait for her gymnastics class is 18 months + so it would be a long wait! She is aware of this and isn’t bothered.

DD started out with "baby ballet" and tap aged 4 and that morphed into Jazz, Tap and Modern which she still does now at 17. The younger classes were a lot of repetition and skipping about in a circle but that reinforced the basics and, most importantly, she loved it (and still does!)

let your DD give it a go. I'm sure DD's dance school had secondhand uniform available. I used to pass DD's down to a smaller friend.

Yes that sounds like a normal ballet class. I think it's a great foundation for other dance and general body awareness so I'd encourage her. But I think gymnastics is valuable too, so I'd want to do both. Agree it's expensive, but that's the case with all ballet schools around here.

I think it sounds like a normal ballet school to. It may be worth letting her have a go and asking them if they have any second hand kit?

In your situation, I would look around at other local dance schools and try and find a more flexible one (and possibly one that also offers acro, tap, modern which may also appeal to your DD)

DD was in reception when she said she wanted to do ballet. I had similar reservations to you as she was so young and I wasn't sure she would like it.

Most schools put me off with rigid rules and expensive uniforms, it felt like they would do you a favour by allowing you to join and pay their extortionate fees.

I found another school through word of mouth which is lovely, the teacher suggested pay as you go for the first few sessions and to delay getting uniform until we were sure DD liked it (not a set uniform either, the colour is imposed but you can choose the brand)

8 years on DD still loves it and is enrolled in all the classes the school offers. The teacher knows how to push the kids gently but firmly, they all adore her and the school exam results are excellent.

Signing her up is one of the best things I ever did for DD, she has grown into a healthy, confident and athletic girl and that's a few hours every week when she's not even thinking about her screen time!

I've never come across a ballet class that allows you to watch and actually, most gymnastics classes after about age 5 also insist parents leave.

I do think you're being a bit all-or-nothing here. I mean £100 for the uniform is ridiculous. DD's school insists on uniform, but it's a leotard, a skirt and a little jumper thing and, in winter, tights. Even buying from "preferred" supplier, I think it costs less than £50. Plus shoes I guess.

If you are not 100% sure about ballet, find a dance School that offers a variety of classes. DD does ballet, tap and disco. Her school also offers modern, jazz, hip hop and musical theatre. Lots of the children start with ballet, add others and then, at some point, drop ballet. But ballet is the basic first one that all the others appear to be based on somehow.

She wants to do ballet and you should let her. Why would you be choosing for her? DC1 let me know very quickly that she hated the formality of ballet. in Year R. They do know what they want.

My Mother was a ballet dancer, I love dancing but ballet is very prescriptive and exact. She taught us ballet and tap dancing at home.

What’s your daughters personality like? Ballet suited neither myself nor my sister. Sis ended up doing gymnastics, she was always a bit of a thrill seeker. I did love ballet but actually enjoy less technical dance.

Ballet is a good bedrock and helps with control of movement. My dd is 8 and doing grade 1. I wish I'd started her sooner as she's one of the oldest in her class. The window is very small to get them into it - I don't see any 12 year olds doing grade 1 for example!

Having said that the exam is intense and while it's not compulsory, when the rest of the class is doing it then it seems odd not to. You might want to consider that pressure compared to other styles of dance which might just be turning up and having fun once a week.

Ballet never just stays ballet if the school offers other classes, soon it'll be tap, then modern, then acro, then conditioning and so on. Possibly competitions and almost definitely shows which cost ££££ so be warned. It esculates quickly and if you don't do the extra classes the girls who do become firmer friends and your DD will feel left out - I speak from experience.

Try a local theatre or circus, they are likely to have a less serious group that does singing, dancing and acting whuch is more recreational.

It is quite normal not to watch dance classes though and the discipline and calm of ballet may benefit her.