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What would you do?

3 replies

Jules008 · 09/10/2023 10:18

,

not really sure how to deal with this

married to dh for 7 years and together for 12. We have 2dc’s

For the last few years, my husband has been studying for a Masters degree through his work. He works full time but was attending university once every couple of weeks. He also had to attend residentials at various points throughout the year. The course has now finished.

He became good friends with the people on his course, and they would have drinks together etc at each residential.

On some of the residentials, he shared a room with another guy who was employed by the same company as him. It wasn’t someone that he knew as his company has branches all across the UK.

To get to the point I noticed that my husband wasn’t being himself over the last few weeks. He seemed quiet and withdrawn, and it was obvious that something was on his mind.

He has finally told me that something happened on the residential last year, that he can’t stop thinking about, and feels guilty over.

One night after they all had drinks they went back to their rooms.

The guy that he was sharing a room with pulled out his laptop and started watching some porn. DH explained that Are you had a few drinks and although initially thought it was strange, he found himself watching the porn in the room with this other guy. This eventually led to them both lying on their beds and masturbating. I asked DH if he had cum and he said that they both did.

I just don’t know what to think about this. He promises me that they didn’t touch each other, but the thought of my husband lying in a hotel room masturbating alongside another man. Is it something I ever thought I’d have to deal with.

What would your thought process be? If you were in this situation?

OP posts:
PickledPurplePickle · 09/10/2023 10:20

I'd think it was a bit odd, but I don't think I would do anything about it - I mean it happened, he's told you nothing else happened, it's obviously bothered him

I'd move on

Polopolly · 09/10/2023 10:21

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Previouslly banned poster.

Stephisaur · 09/10/2023 14:45

I agree that it's quite odd behaviour.

It sounds like your husband is really struggling with this and needs someone to talk to. I would explain that it's not something you can talk to him about but that you will help/support him get some counselling so that he can get it off his chest and really process it.

Once he's done that, you'll both find it easier to move past this.

Also, the room mate in this situation is the real weirdo. Who puts porn on when there's someone else THERE?

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