Monday again

[Crybabybo]

Making my first coffee of the week and trying to stop the tears. This morning I'll try to make myself look presentable, get our toddler up who will ask for his daddy, take him kicking and screaming into nursery, walk the 2 miles to work to people who seem fed up of me and work my job where I am still not confident and not supported.

I tried every day to keep smiling and stay positive until having a huge outpour one day at work where I spent a lot of the morning in a toilet crying. I realise my situation isn't so bad but I'm personally struggling to cope with it. Having counselling though by the time this rolls around, I'm often feeling ok.

Is this just normal Monday blues?

Sounds like you have a lot going on. Is it something in particular that upsets you (being unsupported at work, toddler being a bit difficult on the journey to nursery) or is it that life just feels like a lot right now?

How’s the counselling going, do you feel it’s made any difference so far?

No it's not normal Monday blues
Sorry things are a bit crap at the moment

Hope it's not a wanky idea but each day, can you write down something positive about your day?

Thank you so much for your early morning responses. Day to day does just feel tough at the moment. I usually LOVE this time of year but i also feel this pressure to make it amazing - pumpkin picking, baking, autumn home decor, stylish coats (love it all - but I feel I'm failing if I'm not loving every minute).

I could definitely try looking for positive things though I often look for these in some of my vices that I'm actively trying to avoid. There's an older guy in my life who gives me a lot of confidence and validation (I'm not single). Never cheated but I have often thought of it as an emotional affair. Anyway, I haven't begun a conversation with him in months and I've just been quite matter of fact or cut him short when he's been in touch with me. The temptation to engage is strong though. My finances got into a mess but I slowly started to sort it - now however I feel demotivated by the essential work we have to do to the house when I hoped we might be able to book a holiday this year. I'm overweight but have been calorie counting for 4 weeks and lost a steady half stone - some days I just want to curl up with a family galaxy bar and keep the world out.

Positive is - I have a lovely little family though I'm struggling to see that right now.

Get a notebook and write things down, it's incredibly therapeutic. And get another notebook to write something down that's good every single day.

Get outside for a walk, it's perfect season for walking, even if it's just 15 minutes, it will do you good. And while you are out, really take notice of the trees et cetera

As for the man, I totally understand the temptation, but he is not the answer to this, and you know that will just make your life more difficult. You need to fix the problem not try to escape from it.

💪🏻 be strong, you can pull yourself out of this

Try to reduce some of the intense pressure you're putting in yourself.
You've got a lot going on.