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Help me return a lovely gesture!

16 replies

natura · 07/10/2023 20:56

I moved into my new home (in a different country) a few years ago. Up in the mountains in a small village, where I was still learning the language.

One of my neighbours is an elderly man who welcomed me so warmly when I first arrived, and always took the time to call 'hello' to me whenever he saw me around, remembered my name, waved cheerily from the car...

Small things, but it made all the difference to me trying to settle into an unfamiliar place on my own.

Over the past few months he's started sticking his head out of his window every now and again when I pass by with the dogs and asking "Do you like <insert name of delicious tropical fruit here>? I've got too many from my garden" – and then filling my arms with home-grown goodies before sending me on my way (he has an incredible garden full of medicinal herbs and fruit trees and vegetables).

Today he asked me to help him harvest something that was growing higher on a tree than he was happy to climb on his ladder, and I went home laden this time with cuttings and seeds to start planting my own little garden. Any time I try to thank him, he looks shocked and says "But it'll all go to waste otherwise".

He's not pushy, not weird (before any MN alarms start going off) – just very sweet and lovely – and I'm starting to feel like I'm taking so much without offering anything back!

I know his granddaughters come to visit him every couple of weekends, and thought about baking him a cake for a weekend when they come to visit – but it feels a little 'forced'.

Is it 'forced' or am I just being weird?! 😂Any ideas for a way I can return his kindness in an equally casual way?!

OP posts:
vincettenoir · 07/10/2023 20:58

I don’t think it’s forced. If you could use some of the donated fruit in it, even better.

PimpMyFridge · 07/10/2023 21:03

Cake for him to share with his visiting granddaughter would be lovely!! She would probably feel happy he has a nice neighbour who has the same sense of community that he does. ☺️

tinselvestsparklepants · 07/10/2023 21:07

I agree. Lovely idea.

natura · 07/10/2023 21:14

vincettenoir · 07/10/2023 20:58

I don’t think it’s forced. If you could use some of the donated fruit in it, even better.

Ooh - that's a nice twist! Is passionfruit cake a thing?!

I think it's just that he's so casual about it all – any time I try to thank him he's like "But I haven't DONE anything - it's just on the floor outside!"

Baking a cake is very much DOING something, so I felt it might be turning it into more of a 'thing' than he'd be comfortable with... but perhaps I'm overthinking it.

OP posts:
user1471453601 · 07/10/2023 21:19

Maybe, when you were baking yourself a cake and accidentally made too much? So you are giving him the "leftover" cake to avoid it going to waste?

persisted · 07/10/2023 21:21

I would find something you can make a big batch of. Might be worth a look to see if there’s an easy passion fruit jam or curd recipe?
If not a cake or some biscuits, just drop it off on the way past ‘ I made to much and thought you might like some…’

CyberCritical · 07/10/2023 21:22

Pavlova with passion fruit and other tropical fruits is bloody delicious!

When I was growing up we had a similar neighbour, always letting us pick flowers or leaving homegrown veg on the doorstep.

Mum would always bake extra cake or buy her a cream cake and go round and have a cup of tea with her because she was elderly and on her own a lot and just liked a bit of companionship sometimes.

Rubyruby2222 · 07/10/2023 21:23

A cake for when his grand daughters visit sounds perfect.
He sounds like a selfless man, so I'm sure treating his grand daughters is a great way ti show respect for his kindness.

FusionChefGeoff · 07/10/2023 21:28

If you want to play it down, could you just be practicing for a baking competition at work and don't want to eat all the cake?? Or clearing out the freezer so made a big batch of casserole...

TinyKittenPaw · 07/10/2023 21:31

Lovely idea and a heartfelt thank you for his kindness.

DNLove · 07/10/2023 21:35

I would guess this man would really appreciate your time and company more than anything. Make the cake and call in and sit with him for cup of tea, cake and a chat.

RandomMess · 07/10/2023 21:35

Can you make some classic thing from your home country and give home "a bit" to try?

Cultural exchange and all that!

SleepingisanArt · 07/10/2023 21:40

Don't make one cake - make cupcakes because then you can easily claim you made too many and thought he'd like some. 😉

natura · 07/10/2023 21:58

You lot are crafty geniuses!

Cupcakes! A baking competition! 'Too much' cake! (I never knew too much cake was a thing 😂)

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 07/10/2023 22:04

What a lovely thread! He sounds like a really nice person and you sound like a lovely neighbour. I think the cake idea is perfect.

natura · 07/10/2023 22:16

DNLove · 07/10/2023 21:35

I would guess this man would really appreciate your time and company more than anything. Make the cake and call in and sit with him for cup of tea, cake and a chat.

This too - I can see a friendship evolving as I learn more about how to handle my garden in this climate (it's a very different gardening experience here than in the UK and I feel totally out of my depth!).

There are cake and gardening chats in the future, for sure!

OP posts:
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