How do you cope with toxic colleagues?

[pinku22]

I'm late 30s and I work in a team with 5 others

2 of those are around 60 years old.

None of us are the boss. But these 2 like to make decisions for me and if I disagree w slag me off or get nasty. Constantly belittle me and constantly involve themselves unnecessarily in my patients or caseload

I think it's jealousy as I do twice the amount of work than they do, they get stressed and can't cope but I can. It's not my fault though!

If I don't talk to them it's "making an atmosphere" and "ignoring them". If I do talk, they say my tone is bad or find something else to slag me off about.

I simply can't win. They make work unbearable.

Not allowed to move offices or wfh so stuck with them. One colleague thinks the sun shines out of their ass.

They bullied the last girl out of the office and now I want to leave.

The others in the team are fine. They're two faced and fake but generally leave me be.

They are vile. They slag me off to everyone behind my back, (I don't think they realise how loud they are as I can hear from the next room)

They make up stuff for example I came in and saw a picnic so I jokingly said "what's all this?" And one of them slagged me off after saying I'd said it in a nasty tone!

Everyone thinks these people are lovely, on the surface they seem it... but they're AWFUL

I've been to the manager who basically said I was too sensitive and there's no issues, so that's that...

How do people handle this situation?

A few olde worlde words of wisdom from my Nan:
Kill them with kindness.
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Give a fool enough rope and eventually they will hang themselves.

You cannot change their behaviour. Smile sweetly and look for a new job.

Log it all and go higher up?

You can either fight it hard with the help of HR or make plans to leave. Which would be their loss!

Kill with kindness & learn the art of deflection. Own the situation- so when you disagree try something like ‘thank you so much for your input. I am so lucky to have the benefit of your experience to consult’ etc etc you know you don’t mean it, they will know this to, but it gives them less leverage. Just keep up the smile & wave routine.

Everyone thinks these people are lovely -I bet they don’t. I suspect there are quite a few who could call them out.

Contrary to what others have suggested, I think you should build boundaries with the them, and limit your interactions. Be polite but curt when communications are required. They won't be able to slag you off if there's no crossed path at all. When complained about ignoring them, you can reply that its not true and you're only there to get work done. After all, it would be better for you if they're the ones complaining to the manager rather than you, wouldn't it?

I usually go with icy politeness. If they complain that you’re making an atmosphere or using a tone, tell them that you’re sorry they feel that way, and walk away. Document it every single time you hear them bitching about you. Dates, times and who was in the room. Record them on your phone if you can. Once you have enough evidence, bypass the manager and go to HR.

Leave.

You don't like anyone there & your boss is crap.

If management aren't going to back you, nothing will change.

I was targeted by an absolute sociopath and her flying monkey at work, manager was a total wet lettuce.

I tried to act with absolute professionalism towards them, radiate (fake) positivity & really concentrated on doing a bloody good job to make them look extra shit before I left with a cheery wave 👋 it felt awesome.

Look for a new job. Life is too short and this will wear you down.

Whilst you are there, record everything. Either on a voice recording app on your phone, on your computer or a small, discreet recording device. Get some incriminating stuff you can use against them if need be - it will make you feel more confident to have something against them you can use if you need to. Don't bother writing down dates and times without evidence such as a recording - these sort of people lie and it will be your word against theirs.

If l heard someone slagging me off l would have to say something at the time...watch them talk their way out of it

Who with you work with is the most important part of a job. I reckon I could spend all day cleaning sewers if I was with a good team and having a laugh.

In your situation you don't have this. I'd find it miserable. Leave!

I wish I could leave but I can't. I'm a single parent and I get paid more in this job than I would elsewhere. It's so hard. I'm sat here not wanting to go in tomorrow. They're so sly and fake to my face but evil behind my back. We work in a GP practice and all the other docs and staff think they're amazing. The rest of my team think they're nice because on the surface they are. But they're awful awful people, I can't do right for doing wrong

When you hear them saying stuff, repeat it back to them and ask why they continue to do this. Is the manager scared of them? He/she sounds weak. I’d be tackling them too for their constant lack of managing persistent workplace bullying and involve ACAS.

its a mix at times,

@pinku22 just came across your post and it so resonates with me. I work in a gp practice and this goes on everyday. Is there an option to change your work times / days so that you wouldn't have to work with these 2 pathetic, unsavoury characters?
If you are "carrying" them at work this needs to be addressed also. You shouldn't be doing double the amount of work. If they're not pulling their weight then this is totally unfair and needs to be highlighted. If they're standing around chatting & charming the pants of everyone there clearly not working.
Unfortunately, they think there untouchable and getting away with it.
Take it to your Practice Manager.