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Original poster

Why is everything wedding related more expensive than it’s advertised to be

31 replies

Anothernamechangeee · 07/10/2023 15:48

Hidden costs are driving me nuts

Wedding venues - on all the main wedding websites they say “from £6k” then when you contact the venue it’s actually £28k not including anything else because the £6k is a Monday in January when no one actually wants to get married and is for a wedding party of 4 people not the 100 it’s advertised for

catering - again, packages start at £55 per head… but then you also need to include cutlery and crockery and tax and 20 other things which puts the actual cost at £120pp

i could go on. This is for everything and is a total waste of time for all parties. I thought we had an ok budget but at this rate I’ll be getting married behind a Tesco

OP posts:
MidnightOnceMore · 07/10/2023 15:57

The reasoning is if they said £28k you'd never even look!

Weddings can be ridiculously expensive if you look at off the shelf oackages. Sometimes it's best to ignore the 'wedding' venues and try to find a nice pub/club/hall and build your plans from there.

Polis · 07/10/2023 16:09

We found the same thing. We wanted to invite quite a few people so packages were unaffordable.

We did it DIY in the end.

Bluevelvetsofa · 07/10/2023 16:20

Because the word ‘wedding’ increases the cost exponentially.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
NigelHarmansNewWife · 07/10/2023 16:22

Book a well-managed village hall with a decent kitchen and book caterers. It'll be so much cheaper you can probably put on a free/subsidised bar. Provide guests with a list of local B&Bs and hotels.

Hotel weddings have always been stupidly expensive. 20+ years ago they were charging over £60 per head with very average food and an overpriced bar.

Forgoodnesssakejustletme · 07/10/2023 16:22

We booked a restaurant and never mentioned the "w" word.

NigelHarmansNewWife · 07/10/2023 16:23

Bluevelvetsofa · 07/10/2023 16:20

Because the word ‘wedding’ increases the cost exponentially.

This is true, known as "wedding tax". Tell people it's a party instead.

ReeseWitherfork · 07/10/2023 16:29

I don’t understand any of these industries that don’t advertise prices. I wanted a new garage door recently and had to get “quotes” even though their prices were static. They didn’t changed based on any specifics. So why not just put them in the brochure?

I don’t believe this matters: The reasoning is if they said £28k you'd never even look.
Because if someone has £28k to spend, they’d look anyway. If someone doesn’t have £28k to spend, what’s even the point in them looking.

Original poster
Anothernamechangeee · 07/10/2023 18:08

ReeseWitherfork · 07/10/2023 16:29

I don’t understand any of these industries that don’t advertise prices. I wanted a new garage door recently and had to get “quotes” even though their prices were static. They didn’t changed based on any specifics. So why not just put them in the brochure?

I don’t believe this matters: The reasoning is if they said £28k you'd never even look.
Because if someone has £28k to spend, they’d look anyway. If someone doesn’t have £28k to spend, what’s even the point in them looking.

That’s exactly my issue. I wouldn’t have even contacted the venues if I knew they were £20k+ because it’s a waste of time for all of us

Im looking at overseas venues so it’s difficult to label it as a party! Not interested in a hall or pub really

OP posts:
YorkieTheRabbit · 07/10/2023 18:20

Reminds me of being at a very posh hotel when a couple and parents were looking for a wedding venue. I over heard the father of the bride to be say” HOW MUCH? Im not paying you to stick what looks like a load of bed sheets over your chairs because they’re too scruffy not to cover up!” 😂 The man showing them around did look rather embarrassed
Tbf, it was a bloody expensive place, I’d been attending a wedding and it was just like a conveyor belt.

Hawkins0009 · 07/10/2023 18:29

the costs do take the biscuits for one day, then theres no certainty of the marriage lasting etc

Original poster
Anothernamechangeee · 07/10/2023 20:05

Hawkins0009 · 07/10/2023 18:29

the costs do take the biscuits for one day, then theres no certainty of the marriage lasting etc

Lol. Thanks for the positivity

OP posts:
Hawkins0009 · 07/10/2023 22:12

Anothernamechangeee · 07/10/2023 20:05

Lol. Thanks for the positivity

Show quote history

when it comes to marriage, relationships, etc mumsnet has made my views more cynical , and that given the chance, the "majority" of people will either have an emotional affair or a full affair.

that said obviously all the best for your marriage and i presume there are some honest angels , but i suspect the devils outnumber the angels 3:1

MidnightOnceMore · 08/10/2023 05:56

Anothernamechangeee · 07/10/2023 18:08

That’s exactly my issue. I wouldn’t have even contacted the venues if I knew they were £20k+ because it’s a waste of time for all of us

Im looking at overseas venues so it’s difficult to label it as a party! Not interested in a hall or pub really

Show quote history

They charge what they can. If you won't pay it, presumably someone else will.

You either adjust your requirements or adjust your budget, or hope to find something in between. You can try to haggle it down.

'Weddings cost a lot' is not news. Overseas weddings can be very expensive. It sounds like you've chosen an expensive option.

MidnightOnceMore · 08/10/2023 05:59

Hawkins0009 · 07/10/2023 22:12

when it comes to marriage, relationships, etc mumsnet has made my views more cynical , and that given the chance, the "majority" of people will either have an emotional affair or a full affair.

that said obviously all the best for your marriage and i presume there are some honest angels , but i suspect the devils outnumber the angels 3:1

Show quote history

I think you've got a distorted view as your suggested ratio is high @Hawkins0009 - the majority of people don't have affairs. Don't forget MN skews negative - no one starts a thread about their steady, contented marriage.

guild · 08/10/2023 06:16

We went for a beautiful barn attached to a pub. Absolutely gorgeous. It cost us £150 for the night. In photos it looks no different to my brother's £15000 venue. I used the savings to hire a decoration company, and they transformed the place into something even more beautiful. And it cost £500 for that part.

It was really, really nice pub food but we cut out all the canapés and late evening food, so food cost us £35 per person.

There were some abbey ruins nearby that we took our photos at and they're gorgeous.

All in all, my wedding cost £7000ish. That's including dress, overnight stays AND and open bar. This was by far the most expensive bit. Cost about £3k. We had 40 guests, so on the smaller side for cost saving.

My brother spent close to £30k and at the end of it all, we came out with the same but if paper. And to be honest, they looked basically the same.

What I'm trying to say is probably what others have said, don't go for the pre-made packages. Build your own with random odds and sods (that's all these pre-made packages are anyway, they're just collected together by someone else) and don't fall for all the expensive toot. Again, I know people who spent thousands on invites (that just go in the bin) and we printed our own for free (well, cost of paper and ink). I know people who spent hundreds on confetti, whereas I found a cheap store on eBay that did it in bulk for £16 for all of us, with the little packages for it (but I did have to put the confetti in the packages myself). The confetti itself was identical to the stuff I've seen at other weddings.

Lostinbrum · 08/10/2023 06:35

I found the same OP, I can't justify blowing huge sums on a single day so we are getting married abroad now

TibetanTerrah · 08/10/2023 06:45

Hawkins0009 · 07/10/2023 22:12

when it comes to marriage, relationships, etc mumsnet has made my views more cynical , and that given the chance, the "majority" of people will either have an emotional affair or a full affair.

that said obviously all the best for your marriage and i presume there are some honest angels , but i suspect the devils outnumber the angels 3:1

Show quote history

Wow. Read the room!

Would you say this at someone's actual wedding? 'Yeah, nice venue but a waste of money as the marriage probably won't last anyway...'

If not, maybe think about why your social skills disappear when you're safe behind a keyboard.

luckysonofagun · 08/10/2023 07:15

I got married on a Friday. The venue was outside of a city centre. We had a hog roast instead of a sit down meal it was £17 ahead unlike the sit down which was £35 (8 years ago) we got a drink package but didn't bother with the canapes. Had sarnies and chips in evening. I hired a nice cream van as it was cheaper than dessert. I hired a student to come for 2 hours and take pictures (about £60) A relative made the cake, bridesmaids dresses were Debenhams and my dress was from an outlet (just needed taking up) We got married at the venue so just paid registrar. We did our own invites, favours and table decs, sweetie cart. For bouquets I ask for three small bridesmaids and one large bridesmaids which I carried. £6k in total for about 100 to day and a extra 50 to the night.

gotomomo · 08/10/2023 07:44

They cost what you are willing to pay! A basic registry office wedding with just witnesses is a little over £200, a church wedding including organist is circa £800 (varies a bit on size and organist cost, we charge £818 all in, seats 220) this is the wedding, the bit where you get married - the exorbitant amount is for a party basically!

Dealing with brides all the time I'm staggered what they are paying for their receptions, bearing in mind the actual marriage ceremony is in the church! £20k plus is common, £5k dresses tgen they ask if I can discount the church fees - no!

Cheaper option is to rent a hall, my town council owns one, a 14th century building fully modernised with catering kitchen, then just hire caterers or a local restaurant to deliver (local Indian restaurant does an amazing hot buffet for £15 a head!)

gotomomo · 08/10/2023 07:47

Even cheaper is a church hall but mine at least hasn't got a full kitchen so unless it was a cold buffet or bbq sit wouldn't work

AutumnLemon · 08/10/2023 07:50

We got married in South Africa (my family is over there) and it was cheap as chips. 7 course meal, free bar and luxury accommodation for 30 guests for £6k.

wellthatwentwelldinnit · 08/10/2023 08:04

Bluevelvetsofa · 07/10/2023 16:20

Because the word ‘wedding’ increases the cost exponentially.

This!

Hawkins0009 · 08/10/2023 09:10

TibetanTerrah · 08/10/2023 06:45

Wow. Read the room!

Would you say this at someone's actual wedding? 'Yeah, nice venue but a waste of money as the marriage probably won't last anyway...'

If not, maybe think about why your social skills disappear when you're safe behind a keyboard.

Show quote history

I was explaining the context to the op, for my first comment on spending x amount on weddings, and yes sometimes people have discussed the length of a marriage if they know the couple well and how the relationship is.

Original poster
Anothernamechangeee · 08/10/2023 10:54

MidnightOnceMore · 08/10/2023 05:56

They charge what they can. If you won't pay it, presumably someone else will.

You either adjust your requirements or adjust your budget, or hope to find something in between. You can try to haggle it down.

'Weddings cost a lot' is not news. Overseas weddings can be very expensive. It sounds like you've chosen an expensive option.

Show quote history

You’re missing the point. It doesn’t matter what it costs, they should be upfront with advertising the costs otherwise it’s a waste of time all round!

OP posts:
ChessieFL · 08/10/2023 11:01

This is true of lots of industries, not just weddings. Hotel chains advertise rooms from £25 per night but that only applies to one room in a hotel in the arse end of nowhere in January and the cost of anywhere you actually want to go is much higher. Flights are from £x amount but that’s to specific destinations and doesn’t include taxes, luggage etc. By the time you pick a nice destination and added on the extras it’s at least twice the advertised price.