Page 2 | Have you ever wondered what Mr Bennett did in his room all day?

CurlewKate · 2023-10-06T07:03:37+00:00

Obviously he was hiding from his wife and daughters-but what did he actually do all day? He read-but I wonder how many books he would have owned. He had a farm to run-but presumably he had a manager to do most of that. Household accounts? Letters to his brothers in law? Chaucer fanfic?

HerculesTheBercules · 06/10/2023 09:44

Wow @stayathomegardener and if you have children, have you tried to mirror your upbringing?

Lobelia123 · 06/10/2023 09:50

stayathomegardener · 06/10/2023 09:32

@Zonder I can sort of relate to the lifestyle of the daughters, born in 1969 in a rambling farmhouse once the home of Nicholas Culpepper the herbalist and pretty much unchanged from his time my childhood was very full.
Until I was 16 we had no phone, tv or radio I do recall the huge excitement of a jumble sale purchase of a gramophone complete with 1930/40's records when I was around 12.

We played instruments piano, cello, violin and various percussion. One of my favourite things was playing music to the cows who were super attentive.
We had a huge amount of high quality art supplies our father lecturing at an art polytechnic would bring home at the end of term.

We boated for hours on the river, wrote letters, gardened etc.
Just surviving kept everyone busy, stacking firewood, any heat or cooking meant lighting the oven.

House bricks were baked to be placed in the bed at night.

All bread was homemade and everything preserved so hours of preparing fruits for jam or kneading dough.

My sister and I dressed up to make believe and acted little plays.

We did go to school reluctantly but didn't fit in very well unsurprisingly.

Loved reading this, you completely transported me back to your childhood....it sounds wonderful.

Deadringer · 06/10/2023 09:50

I like the erotica idea, perhaps he wrote some too. I suppose going through the accounts, writing letters, paying bills, and then lots of reading would have kept him busy enough. The girls didn't do any of the household chores, Mrs Bennet makes that very clear when she visits Netherfield. I think they kept a good number of servants, iirc they had a footman, and they had a carriage, both of which indicate a good income.

Zonder · 06/10/2023 10:00

CurlewKate · 06/10/2023 09:39

@Zonder There was a lot of work involved in running a household. Think of all the preserving and cooking and gardening. The washing and drying and sewing. And they weren't well off enough to have a lot of servants. They didn't have a governess, so Elizabeth and Jane would have had quite a lot to do with educating the younger ones. Things took a long time- if Elizabeth wanted to see Charlotte she would have had to walk there and back. "Popping to the shop" would have taken a whole morning. They probably would have had some responsibilities towards the poor and sick in the village. (Emma certainly did) And they did have hobbies.

I'm not convinced the Bennett sisters did a lot of those household tasks.

RowenaEllis · 06/10/2023 10:02

Lots of naps.
breakfast would be late and long. Then some reading in the library. Smoke a cigar. Go for a walk around the garden. Lunch. Bit more reading. Have a nap. Have a bath (maybe), get dressed, have dinner. Have some port and a cigar. Go to bed. Repeat! Very boring, but humans can adapt to boring.

RowenaEllis · 06/10/2023 10:03

Emma had to visit the sick because she was the daughter of the first family in the neighbourhood. The Bennetts didn't have that status. They wouldn't have been visiting sick and poor people I don't think.

determinedtomakethiswork · 06/10/2023 10:08

Have you read Longbourn? It's very very good.

Gillstuck · 06/10/2023 10:10

He'd spend the day looking forward to his next snack or tasty treat that would be brought to him on a tray in his study. He wouldn't want to know exactly what was coming which adds to his excitement.

His world is very small. He is still yet to face up to his disappointments in his marriage and lack of a son. This will hurt them all in time. He amuses himself by reading and writing to satirical newspapers and acquaintances. He is avoiding life.

TrashedSofa · 06/10/2023 10:20

Zonder · 06/10/2023 10:00

I'm not convinced the Bennett sisters did a lot of those household tasks.

Show quote history

Yeah, doesn't Jane Austen basically say the girls didn't get a great education? Plus there's a whole thing about how they don't do much in the way of housework compared to their social equivalents like the Lucases. Where Mrs B says her daughters have nothing to do in the kitchen. I think it's more likely that they were out visiting people and walking into Meryton all the time.

MercyChant66 · 06/10/2023 10:25

stayathomegardener · 06/10/2023 09:32

@Zonder I can sort of relate to the lifestyle of the daughters, born in 1969 in a rambling farmhouse once the home of Nicholas Culpepper the herbalist and pretty much unchanged from his time my childhood was very full.
Until I was 16 we had no phone, tv or radio I do recall the huge excitement of a jumble sale purchase of a gramophone complete with 1930/40's records when I was around 12.

We played instruments piano, cello, violin and various percussion. One of my favourite things was playing music to the cows who were super attentive.
We had a huge amount of high quality art supplies our father lecturing at an art polytechnic would bring home at the end of term.

We boated for hours on the river, wrote letters, gardened etc.
Just surviving kept everyone busy, stacking firewood, any heat or cooking meant lighting the oven.

House bricks were baked to be placed in the bed at night.

All bread was homemade and everything preserved so hours of preparing fruits for jam or kneading dough.

My sister and I dressed up to make believe and acted little plays.

We did go to school reluctantly but didn't fit in very well unsurprisingly.

How completely perfect. Are you Cassandra Mortmain?! 🤍
To be fair, my childhood had many elements of yours and we were never bored either.

weirdoboelady · 06/10/2023 10:26

I despair of the intellect of MNers. The question is about Mr Bennett. More than half the attempted answers are about the girls.

LongFaulks · 06/10/2023 10:28

Stealth D&D miniatures painting.

crosstalk · 06/10/2023 10:33

They certainly had enough servants - there's a cook, housekeeper, maid as well as footman and coachman - and outside staff related to the farm. Probably a gardener. Even the Dashwoods when they move to the cottage in Devon in what's supposedly a highly impoverished state have a maid and man of work IMHO.

QueenOfThorns · 06/10/2023 10:33

PinkyDinkyDoodle · 06/10/2023 08:41

I think of him poring over the accounts, trying to work out how he will pay for his extravagant family, and then consoling himself with port and brandy (which he also cannot afford).

You are probably right about the erotica, though. If he'd stuck to that after Jane and Elizabeth, he'd have been a lot better off, and wouldn't have had the annoying younger children.

Unfortunately he had to continue to favour Mrs Bennett with his attentions because they really needed to produce a son to inherit.

CurlewKate · 06/10/2023 10:35

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Original poster

CurlewKate · 06/10/2023 10:39

I suspect Mrs Bennett is fibbing a bit about her girls not having to do anything in the kitchen!

Important to remember that having servants didn't mean the same then as it does now-most people of the middle class would have had at least a maid. But there was still a lot of work to do. I think you had to be Darcy family level to not have to do anything at all.

OP posts:

TrashedSofa · 06/10/2023 10:41

QueenOfThorns · 06/10/2023 10:33

Unfortunately he had to continue to favour Mrs Bennett with his attentions because they really needed to produce a son to inherit.

Show quote history

This. I think otherwise he'd have been happy to stop well before five. Can't imagine he'd be the sort of father who could be arsed with smaller children either, since he can't even cope with a bit of teenage stupidity when they can at least wipe their own arses and get through a meal without a meltdown.

WatchOutMissMarpleIsAbout · 06/10/2023 10:42

stayathomegardener · 06/10/2023 09:32

@Zonder I can sort of relate to the lifestyle of the daughters, born in 1969 in a rambling farmhouse once the home of Nicholas Culpepper the herbalist and pretty much unchanged from his time my childhood was very full.
Until I was 16 we had no phone, tv or radio I do recall the huge excitement of a jumble sale purchase of a gramophone complete with 1930/40's records when I was around 12.

We played instruments piano, cello, violin and various percussion. One of my favourite things was playing music to the cows who were super attentive.
We had a huge amount of high quality art supplies our father lecturing at an art polytechnic would bring home at the end of term.

We boated for hours on the river, wrote letters, gardened etc.
Just surviving kept everyone busy, stacking firewood, any heat or cooking meant lighting the oven.

House bricks were baked to be placed in the bed at night.

All bread was homemade and everything preserved so hours of preparing fruits for jam or kneading dough.

My sister and I dressed up to make believe and acted little plays.

We did go to school reluctantly but didn't fit in very well unsurprisingly.

It sounds idyllic. Tbh we had a phone for my dad’s work, a tv but were only allowed to watch bbc at certain times. We had to read books and write essays on them regularly. Help with chores, baking and making preserves. Different times.

Cello60 · 06/10/2023 10:48

Teddleshon · 06/10/2023 08:17

If he's anything like my DH he had a stamp / coin collection, thousands of absurd old books and did an awful lot of staring out the window.

Mr Teddleshon sounds delightfully interesting

SueDonnym · 06/10/2023 10:51

I think pre cars and tv everyone must have had a pretty boring life (probably very pleasant but boring compared to today) - unless they were someone who worked full time 10 hours 6 days a week.
I remember in the film Vera Drake set in the 50s that after tea they all sat round the living room. ............. perhaps the radio was on.

MujeresLibres · 06/10/2023 10:54

CurlewKate · 06/10/2023 10:39

I suspect Mrs Bennett is fibbing a bit about her girls not having to do anything in the kitchen!

Important to remember that having servants didn't mean the same then as it does now-most people of the middle class would have had at least a maid. But there was still a lot of work to do. I think you had to be Darcy family level to not have to do anything at all.

I think it would have been a point of pride that the girls didn't have to do housework. And remember the importance of "ladies hands" showing no work? Dipping into "Gone with the wind" here 😉

Hoolahoophop · 06/10/2023 10:54

So envious of your life @stayathomegardener

Cello60 · 06/10/2023 10:55

Hardbackwriter · 06/10/2023 09:39

This is a bit later and less literary, but DS1 is currently obsessed with the Famous Five books so we have the audio books on repeat and I keep wondering what on earth George's dad, who is apparently a very accomplished scientist 'doing experiments' but works entirely in his study in their house is actually DOING. To be fair, it is a plot point in one of the books that he has an afternoon nap every day...

i assume he’s a theoretical physicist and spends most of his time poring over equations like Sheldon in The Big Bang Theory rather than doing practical experiments mad boffin style.

mateysmum · 06/10/2023 11:00

crosstalk · 06/10/2023 10:33

They certainly had enough servants - there's a cook, housekeeper, maid as well as footman and coachman - and outside staff related to the farm. Probably a gardener. Even the Dashwoods when they move to the cottage in Devon in what's supposedly a highly impoverished state have a maid and man of work IMHO.

I think a butler is also mentioned.
It is one of the (many) things that annoyed me about the Keira Knightley film version, it shows the girls and Mrs B in the kitchen preparing food whereas this is explicitly a "no, no" in the book.
Austen also refers to the Bennetts as being the principal inhabitants of their village so I think for the women at least there would have been an element of good works.
As for Mr B, yes there would have been admin, managing the farm, letters, accounts then probably a lot of reading, a sneaky glass of brandy or two and quite a lot of staring out of the window and contemplating his silly wife and daughters.

stayathomegardener · 06/10/2023 11:08

HerculesTheBercules · 06/10/2023 09:44

Wow @stayathomegardener and if you have children, have you tried to mirror your upbringing?

Yes, I've a daughter brought up in a similar location who had almost no technology beyond unlimited music cd's until she was 12 and then went straight to an iPhone.

Similar outcome to myself she struggled to integrate culturally at both school and uni but conversely as a 24 year old lives an interesting if unconventional life as a part time freelance automotive photographer/Instagrammer who's building her own house out of a refrigerated cheese unit salvaged from a lorry.