Want to quit some volunteering - how to do it nicely?

[Quitterrrr]

I volunteer every week for something. But it takes me over an hour to get there, and really clashes with school pickup times. I need to quit. I haven’t been going long, and I know how much they need a person. It is also useful for some training i’m doing, and really need to not leave a bad relationship with this organisation and myself!

Was considering lying and saying that I have more paid work, so can’t volunteer anymore.

Or should I tell the truth? It always takes me longer to get there than googlemaps estimates, and it’s very awkward (because of that) with school pickup that day? (Meaning DH has to do it, interrupting his paid work.)

I feel bad because I should have known this before I took it up (although travel estimates to get there always say 49 mins but it takes me 1hr15 every time, no less! Every way I try! Unreliable bus traffic in London!) and I’m also not really getting anything out of it professionally, which I wasn’t expecting.

How should I quit? With a white lie? Or the truth?

Just tell the truth that you are unable to get to school in time and are struggling with the travel time which is a lot more than maps estimated.

Perhaps be honest and say that it’s not working out for you due to traffic and school pick up times. Maybe give them no a date that you’ll finish on so it gives them time to replace you. Don’t feel guilty, sometimes these things just don’t work out.

Just say it isn't working for you any longer. But give a bit of notice if you can. I manage a small team of volunteers and always appreciate it if I'm told a couple of weeks in advance if someone can't come any more.

The truth.

Just tell them what you have said here - the travel is much longer than you anticipated and it is impinging on family life more than you antiticipated , including DH's earnings , so you are sorry but you can't continue.

Do you think if I gave them until half term? Tell them now, but say that’ll be the end? I can manage three more weeks! I like the organisation very much. But I often feel a little pointless when I’m there, and it takes forever to get there and back, so instead of leaving me feeling wonderful for doing this thing, I leave feeling deflated.

One of my big flaws is that I’m a massive people pleaser, I hate letting people down, and am terrified of confrontation!

OP do you have any kind of volunteer agreement?

They will understand.

Say that you've really enjoyed it, you've learnt a lot and that you wish you could carry on because you don't want to let them down, but you had underestimated the travel time and you're struggling to fit it in around your existing family responsibilities.

Did you replace someone when you started, or were they short before you started? Would leaving there earlier in the afternoon be an option, so you CAN still do both (IF you wanted to)? OR, would leaving earlier be an option until you fully leave?

I agree with others. Be honest that the travel is more than expected and whilst you thoroughly enjoy the job, regretfully, you cannot continue due to the impact on school pick ups.

I didn’t take over from anyone as such (they did have a volunteer last year) so not taking up a place if that makes sense! I don’t have any kind of agreement that I know of. All verbal. So I don’t think I’ll be breaking a contract, if that makes sense. But they definitely wanted someone for the long term! Which I did think I’d do.

Me too but I've just left a volunteer role.
I wrote an email for mine as it was a formal role:

Dear X, I am sorry to say that I'm writing to let you know that I will be resigning from the position of X from X date. I have really valued the time I have spent working with you, but unfortunately I find that other commitments are not allowing me to give it the time it deserves. Thanks for all your support during my time with you.

All the best
ihavespoken

Of course they wanted someone who commit for longer because typically they will have invested in inducting and training you. But it's one of those things. It isn't an employment contract and organisations that work with volunteers generally recognise that they can't expect the same level of commitment that they would get from a paid member of staff.

You didn't start the role with the intent of quitting now, but you're struggling to make it work. You don't need to feel guilty, but if you still do, you could potentially ask if there is anything that you could help them with remotely? Or at a different time? Or on an ad hoc basis when you're free?

It's lovely that you don't want to let them down, but they will be used to this happening with volunteers, it goes with the territory. They will understand, and if you show some genuine regret about the inconvenience that it may cause for them, they will most certainly not hold it against you. It really is just one of those things.

All you do is contact them and say that unfortunately, due to a change of circumstances, you are no longer able to continue as a volunteer, and wish them well.

That's it.

I’m a chair of a large village charity and also volunteer a lot. And being a people pleaser myself who overthinks everything I feel your pain @Quitterrrr

I would just say that after next week you won’t be able to attend anymore as the commute time is nearly twice as long as the google travel estimate and doesn’t work out well around the school day and other commitments.

do not offer to do different days/school holidays or anything.

Just stick to your guns that the commute makes it too difficult to manage

its polite and clearly informs them if your reasons for leaving.

don’t continue to inconvenience your partners work by offering a months notice or something.

you are an unpaid volunteer giving your time to what sounds like a rather disorganised project. You’ve tried supporting them but can’t do it at your own expense (time / energy).