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If you have a 9 year old...

75 replies

Allthescreens · 04/10/2023 19:29

...what are they allowed to do?

  • Which age certificate films can they watch?
  • Which age computer games can they play?
  • Do you allow swearing?
  • What is bedtime?
  • Do they have screentime limits?
  • Do they have own phone?

I'm curious as I feel I might be stricter than other parents with DS3, who is 10 in February & hoping it won't cause him to feel left out.

OP posts:
Equimum · 04/10/2023 20:13

I have a 10 year old. He can:

  • watch 12 films (with one of us present, or having pre-watched).
  • the only 12 game he has is Zelda, as we felt that was appropriate. He's not got Fortnite or games we seem violent.
  • he's generally allowed 30 minutes screen time on school days; more at weekends.
  • when he does my have activities, he's in bed 8-8.30 and light out at 9 during the week/ bed at 9, light at 10 at the weekend - he doesn't settle any earlier.
  • no phone - he'll get one for secondary school next year.
  • we don't allow swearing, but don't exactly punish the odd word.
Dox9 · 04/10/2023 20:14

Dd just about to turn 9
Which age certificate films can they watch?
12 with a parent present
Which age computer games can they play?
No computer games, just not into them
Do you allow swearing?
No. We don't swear either.
What is bedtime?
9pm
Screentime
No specific limits but content is vetted by us.
Do they have own phone?
No

eatdrinkandbemerry · 04/10/2023 20:17

She doesn't watch tv (her choice)
Roblox
No swearing
8 o'clock bedtime
Only goes on screens after school for two hours
No phone
(She's autistic and developmentally much more immature than the average 9 year old)

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CheesyChipsOnWembleyWay · 04/10/2023 20:19

Movies - case by case basis but I can't imagine anything above a 12 would be of interest at this point. If it doesn't involve a ball or Star Wars it's not happening.
Computer games - 12/15 ish depending on content. We have discussions around violence/aggressive content
Swearing - only when we are at the football - he sings "shearer is a wanker" at full pelt. No other occasions though and he knows it.
Bedtime - 9 on a school night. 10 weekends
Screen time limits - no. Does plenty of activities after school so I'm easy on this one

Own phone - not yet but uses my FaceTime account to chat to school friends

forevercurious · 04/10/2023 20:20

I have a 9year old step child and the rules in our house are pretty much the opposite to the rules in her mums house.

films: 12

games: doesn’t play any at our house but used to talk about Minecraft, Roblox. She has been offered consoles etc here but says no.

swearing: doesn’t swear here but is well aware of the words.

bedtime: anytime between 8 and 9pm, depending on what we’ve been up too, what we’re doing the next day, if we have an early start etc.

screentime: no limits as in a certain amount of time but she only usually asks to watch something in the evening whilst we’re putting the younger children to bed. She usually watches Netflix, Disney plus and sometimes watches a bit of YouTube on the telly. We watch movies as a family often.

phone: no phone here, but she has one at her mums house where she has access to all social media - including Tik tok. She doesn’t bring her phone to ours, she knows DP does not like her being in social media but her mum brought the phone and she uses it on her time with her so out of his control sadly.

I’m quite surprised she hasn’t complained about the differences in what she’s allowed to do in each house but there has always been huge differences between the homes so it’s all she’s ever known really.

SkankingWombat · 04/10/2023 20:22

• Which age certificate films can they watch?
Up to 12a, but it depends on why it has the rating. Films rated 12 because of violence or scary bits are fine, but we avoid films given the rating for sex and relationships content.

• Which age computer games can they play?
I go by title. Any on her Nintendo 3DS - mostly she plays Zelda, Pokémon, Lego series and Harvest Moon. She has things like Duolingo and word games on her phone (she has one as travels to school on the bus, which is an hour each way). On the PC, she has the educational version of Minecraft.

• Do you allow swearing?
No. She knows plenty of swear words, but like alcohol, we treat it as 'something for adults'. This is bound to change in coming years, but works for now. I can't get too fussed about swearing in context and appropriate company TBH, but DH has a huge problem with it.

• What is bedtime?
Upstairs by 8, lights out 9-9.30. She has ADHD and ASD, so struggles to get off to sleep. After much experimentation and professional advice, we've found a later bedtime yields an earlier 'falls asleep' time.

• Do they have screentime limits?
In theory, no, but in practice yes. If all homework and jobs are done, both DCs are free to use screens as much as they want until we go up for bed. In reality, they are out of the house doing extracurriculars so much of the week, by the time homework etc is done, very little time is left for screens. I do sometimes have to limit it during 'home days' during the school hols.

• Do they have own phone?
Yes, as above. It's much earlier than we'd like, but needs must. We're only a few weeks into the school year, but it has already proven invaluable when the bus has been late or after-school clubs have been cancelled (she's at middle school). If she had done the primary/secondary route, she wouldn't have been given one until yr7.

HerculesMulligan · 04/10/2023 20:23
  • Which age certificate films can they watch?
U or PG - he doesn't like the cinema so it's mostly at home.
  • Which age computer games can they play?
He only really loves the Lego ones. He hasn't asked for anything older yet.
  • Do you allow swearing?
Absolutely not.
  • What is bedtime?
Upstairs reading or drawing in his room from 8pm, though he doesn't go to sleep until nearer 10pm. He needs that time to chill out though.
  • Do they have screentime limits?
No, he is pretty sensible though when he was younger we banned YouTube (even the kids version) because the constant switching from one bit of shortform video content to the next would send him loopy.
  • Do they have own phone?
No, and he probably won't until secondary.
didistutter56 · 04/10/2023 20:29

Films up to a 12A.

Games she likes are Minecraft, Roblox, Animal Crossing, Mario party.

Nope, but she definitely tests me with swearing. Occasionally I’ll hear the odd “frick” or “bugger” so nothing too bad but not that she should be saying anyway.

Bedtime 8.30-9, 10-11 on weekends.

She has limits during the week but not as much on weekends.

She does have her own phone (it’s my old iPhone) and only because I co-parent, sometimes she stays with relatively who are awful at keeping in contact and she likes to ring her cousin and family who don’t live locally.

soundsys · 04/10/2023 20:29

Which age certificate films can they watch? She hasn't asked to watch anything more than a PG. Would be fine with a 12A depending on the film.

• Which age computer games can they play? Pokémon! And Monument Valley. Hasn't been interested in anything else so far.

• Do you allow swearing? Generally no unless quoting/reading something and then we discuss
why it's used. With a reminder not to repeat at school or to grandma!

• What is bedtime? She goes up around 8 generally and then reads for an hour or so.

• Do they have screentime limits? Yes in the sense of there are times when they use their iPad and times when they are doing other things but not a fixed amount of time iyswim

• Do they have own phone? Absolutely not! Have agreed Y6 or Y7. I don't know anyone in our school younger who has one.

Secondrater · 04/10/2023 20:30
  • Which age certificate films can they watch?

Some 12As but no 12s unless I've vetted it and think it's OK.

  • Which age computer games can they play?
She doesn't, but if she did, it'd be no to fortnite!
  • Do you allow swearing?
Absolutely not
  • What is bedtime?
supposedly 8.30 but in reality 9.30/10pm. I've let that slip.
  • Do they have screentime limits?
no. But if it was an issue yes.
  • Do they have own phone
nope . Not til age 11/12.
user2207 · 04/10/2023 20:30

Films: 12A, but some 12 depending on content (Harry Potter, etc)
Games: Minecraft educational, Civilization, racing games.
Swearing: no, we are very strict on that, no swearing for both adults and children
Screen time: limited, but very much depending on content and free time - educational documentaries are allowed for longer than ipad, for example
Bedtime: 8-30/9
No phone

TeamSleep · 04/10/2023 20:31

Which age certificate films can they watch? PG
Which age computer games can they play? Don’t play any
Do you allow swearing? No
What is bedtime? 8:30
Do they have screentime limits? No
Do they have own phone? No

PictureFrameWindow · 04/10/2023 20:32

Films up to 12 with a parent.

Games are Mario and Minecraft mainly.

Bedtime 8pm weeknights, 9pm Fri and Sat.

No sweating!

Screen time 20mins educational screen time in the week and 1h 30 on the weekends.

PictureFrameWindow · 04/10/2023 20:33

No swearing I mean 😂

Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 04/10/2023 20:35

Ds1 is 8, but in year 4 with a lot of 9 yr olds.

Which age certificate films can they watch? Depends, but geberally just PG. I will vet other films first. He's seen the first 2 Harry potters.
Which age computer games can they play? they dobt have a console at all, just tablet. He has minecraft but nothibg else really, a few kids racinf games.
Do you allow swearing? no.
What is bedtime? 8.30 weeknights. Up to 10pm weekends.
Do they have screentime limits? yes. Although i dobt enforce them for his hobby (watching and practicing)
Do they have own phone? No.

All his friends have a games console of some sort, several have a phone. He comes home talking about IPhone 14s and wants an Oculus despite not knowing what it is. He's learnt many swear words also.but knows not to say them

Heatherbell1978 · 04/10/2023 20:37

For DS I feel like I'm strict compared to peers.

Which age certificate films can they watch? - he prefers animation so it's rarely a 12.
• Which age computer games can they play - Mario and Minecraft usually. Strict about no Fortnite.
• Do you allow swearing? No
• What is bedtime? 8pm
• Do they have screentime limits? I don't have formal limits but they're not allowed tablets in their rooms/in bed.
• Do they have own phone? No but I've suggested at age 10.

Rudolphthefrog · 04/10/2023 20:38

PG films, no games rated higher than his age (he only wants minecraft anyway), no phone (none of his friends have phones either), absolutely no swearing.

Bedtime is 9-9:30pm, so long as he gets up cheerfully in the morning. If he gets grumpy or difficult to get up he starts being sent to bed earlier.

No screen time limit as such, so long as it’s not interfering with day to day life, school, socialising with real life friends etc. He self regulates pretty well.

Frankinbeans · 04/10/2023 20:39

Just turned 10 year old (in September)

Films: Not really interested but I would probably put a 12 limit

Games: Has an xbox and plays fifa and f1. No games with violence and swearing. Doesn't play online.

Swearing: no

Bedtime 7.30 - we are early risers

Screentime: no rigid limit, but make sure he doesn't have unreasonable amount of time on xbox.

Phone: yes. Bought so that he can contact me if he needs me when he is away. A couple of things he does cause him to be away from home for large amounts of the day, up to 10 hours a day.

Gymmum82 · 04/10/2023 20:42

Which age certificate films can they watch? Any providing I have watched them and deem them ok. Obviously not 18’s but I would allow 15 if it was something they wanted to watch and I thought it was ok.

Which age computer games can they play? Only plays Roblox. Not interested in anything else.

Do you allow swearing? No. But she does know swears

What is bedtime? 8pm

Do they have screentime limits? I’m pretty relaxed. We’re very busy. So she doesn’t have hours to waste on her iPad but if we’re home and chilling she can stay on however long she wants

Do they have own phone? She has a phone which is DH old one however it has no SIM card. So essentially just like a tablet but can face time on it. Doesn’t work outside the house

Alargeoneplease89 · 04/10/2023 20:44
  • Which age certificate films can they watch?
12 and sometimes a 15 if I'm present or seen it before and there's nothing sexual/ overboard swearing.
  • Which age computer games can they play?
I'm not too strict on age, anything within reason.
  • Do you allow swearing?
Nope, never. They obviously hear it in public/ TV etc but know it is unacceptable.
  • What is bedtime?
9pm but can read until 10pm.
  • Do they have screentime limits?
Nope, but I can check their devices whenever she knows my expectations and I do random checks to make sure all is above board .
  • Do they have own phone
Yes and again they know until they hit 14, it's randomly checked- nothing is to be deleted like in WhatsApp

But every child is different, you know what works for your family so don't feel like you are too strict or lenient. Whatever works for you. I feel there is always too much judgement.

Lancasterel · 04/10/2023 20:48
  • Which age certificate films can they watch? The odd 12A with careful research and watched with an adult!
  • Which age computer games can they play? Minecraft (but not on servers!), Among Us, odd bit of Roblox, Cricket 22 😂 He has asked about Fortnite occasionally but we haven’t gone any further than saying “no” at the moment!
  • Do you allow swearing? No!!!
  • What is bedtime? 8/8:30, lights off at 9:00 or later at the weekend. Good at self-regulating and will turn off when tired.
  • Do they have screentime limits? Yes but not that strict, depends on the day. DS doesn’t use tablet every day, might do 30 mins a couple of times in the week then 2/3 hours at the weekend. He tends to ask for it in phases. More in the holidays!
  • Do they have own phone? No but will probably get one for the start of Y7 (currently in Y6).
evtheria · 04/10/2023 20:49

•Mostly 12s, though I did let him watch Free Guy and Good Omens. I watched them beforehand.
• 7+ mostly, but a couple of 12s. He has strict gaming rules/times, and either DP or I will purchase the game. I look them up to read reviews. He is constantly begging for Fortnite, however.
• Nope, but I might (!) when he's 14+ if he doesn't swear excessively/unnecessarily. A swear word can be effective. I assume he will begin early when I'm not around to hear, the Yr 7s waiting for the bus near our house swear constantly.
• 7.30, but free to read or listen to music until 8. Then all things off, lights out.
• Yep, he probably has the most limits out of his friends. Leisure screen time incl tv is not usual on schooldays (except Fri), and he gets 1-2hrs gaming on weekends if he behaves well. Tbh I don't know how people fit in screen time on weekdays, unless the kid goes to bed late or has it during meals.
• Nooooooo waaaaayyyy 🤣

writteninthewater · 04/10/2023 20:51

• Which age certificate films can they watch? 12
• Which age computer games can they play? 12
• Do you allow swearing? No
• What is bedtime? He's in bed reading/listening to music by 7:30 but can go to sleep whenever he wants (is normally asleep by 8:30).

• Do they have screentime limits? Not a strict limit but he has to ask to use screens other than first thing in the morning and I will tell him to come off when I think he's had enough.
• Do they have own phone? No

anon0007 · 04/10/2023 20:54

• Which age certificate films can they watch? 15
• Which age computer games can they play? 15
• Do you allow swearing? Yes
• What is bedtime? 10pm weekdays
• Do they have screentime limits? Not really
• Do they have own phone? Yes

Ds is 12 next month.

anon0007 · 04/10/2023 20:55

Same everything when he was 9.