Name changed. I’m so scared and panicking because my life might never be the same again one week from now.
I’m engaged and pregnant. Three weeks ago I felt like I’m on the top of the world, I was so incredibly happy. But then I went to an early pregnancy scan which implied that the pregnancy might have stopped developing at 5 weeks. I’m supposed to go for a rescan early next week.
If this pregnancy fails, I don’t think I could do it all again. I’m 40 and it took me a long time to conceive, it took its emotional toll. My partner (younger than me) is supportive but made it very clear that he can’t see a future for himself without kids. We discussed that if we end up being on different pages regarding trying to conceive, we’d have to end the relationship because it wouldn’t be fair on either one of us.
I’m feeling paralysed by the thought of how different my life might look like in only one weeks’ time. From engaged, pregnant and due to get married to being a single woman in her 40s and childless. It all depends on my next scan but I don’t even know how I can find the courage to go there, knowing how much is at stake.
I don’t know why I’m posting or what sort of advice I’m hoping for. I’m usually good at coping with things, I got through relationship breakdowns and a miscarriage years ago, but this is a triple whammy because I will loose my pregnancy, my relationship and any hope of ever having a child at the same time.
How would you try to embrace a life that suddenly is fundamentally different than expected?