If your kids are through adolescence - what was the hardest age for moodiness?

[CohensD]

Just wondering what people's experiences are.

13.5 yo DD really seems to hate me ATM (I know it's a common phase, but blimey it's hard! I just want to help her, and she won't let me 😥).

With DS (now 20), I'd say 14-15 was especially hard (he's a delight now), although different from what we're going through now with DD.

13-15 was horrendous with my daughter, and wasn’t great with my son. One more son left to go, but we’re not at that stage yet.

15 was the absolute worst with DD, the second she turned 16 a switch seemed to flip and she was very pleasant to be around! We became the best of friends. Due to lockdowns she had very little outside stress from school, friends etc so she was just far more relaxed I think.

Now 19 and the moodiness seems to have made a return over the past few months🤦‍♀️ Nothing I do is right and she will turn absolutely anything into a fight. She’ll be lovely for a few days and then turn horrible again, it’s exhausting

13-15 with both my DSs and DD.

Having taught at Secondary School it's generally found that the most challenging to teach are from Christmas in year 8 - September of year 10, the attitudes of most students are horrendous and I imagine they were the same at home. After that they seem to chill out a bit, although friendship issues were common in year 10, year 11 they are more worried about GCSEs than anything.

DD has just turned 14 and apart from the occasional eye roll is attitude free, exceptionally good company and a delight, however she is autistic and has always been a mini adult in her attitude and communication style so I think that helps along with being an only child, with one set of rules to follow as I'm single. In busier families I'm sure it's trickier.

I agree, 14-15 were the worse. After that, moodiness is still there but it gradually reduces.

13-15. Hideous!!

Ds, turned into a 14yo Victor Meldrew. His view was that the world was crap, school was crap, I was crap, and he was stupid, scrawny and useless at everything.

By 15.5 it was sorted. 😀

3 DS all lovely adults now ...about 14-16 was the worst time. Currently have just DS15 at home and it's been good days and bad . Sometimes I think, phew we've come out of the worst then a few weeks later ...bam devil child emerges . But he's recently started going to the gym and playing football again and this really seems to be helping

When DD was at sixth form she cut an article out of The Evening Standard which claimed that girls don’t fully snap out of adolescent moodiness until age 22 - 23 on which she wrote a note
“don’t worry Mum, only 5 more years 😊”

Looking back that seems about right.

The rollercoaster of moodiness was definitely worst in the early to mid teens as other posters say. But then other things come into play such as exams, the prospect of leaving home, learning to manage money , alcohol and so on. All these changes play on their minds and make teenagers moody, snappy and difficult to live with even after the puberty hormones have settled.

There’s a book called
“Get out of my life…but first take me and Alex into town” .
Title just about sums it up!

Thank you all - interesting (and mixture of heartening and horrifying) to read others' experiences. In any case I know we may well have a not-easy few years ahead. Some days, it's very hard, right?!

Thank you again

Dd has been an absolute pleasure u until now (15 in 3 weeks) when just my breathing seems to irritate her and nothing is right/ she doesn't want to do anything. She was a hideous toddler so I was hoping she'd got it all out of her system. I had a lovely preteen/early teen compared to her brothers but this is...hard.

My sons are very different to each other. Ds1 will be 18 soon and has been increasingly difficult (possibly ND) since he was about 6 so nothing much different - anxiety and anger fairly constant. Ds2 nearly 15 seems OK other than obsessed with fitness and muscles. Maybe it's coming with him...

DS - age 16 - 18, although puberty was delayed in his case. He was at loggerheads with DH for those two years, but generally ok with me, although communication consisted of monosyllabic grunts, which apparently could mean

“I said I wanted Weetabix for breakfast!”

DDs - age 12 - 14. The moodiness with me was at mountain peak heights, although generally they were ok with DH.

Imo, they go through a battle to assert their independence with the same sex parent, while being fine with the opposite sex parent?

Interesting about the opposite sex theory. Whilst I recognise at times my 13 and 15 year old DSs can have their moody moments we don’t really fight about it. I leave them to it and they come around. DH just gets at them ‘you’re so grumpy’ etc etc. I say choose your battles.

DS 15 is much better now than when he was 13 so I’m hoping we’re through the worst of it. He was tired after a party the other day and the grumpiness re-emerged so I think lots of sleep is important. And sport seems to help as it boost their mood and distracts them.

DS1 was haaaaarrrrrd work 14 -17 (but has Learning difficulties which accounted for a lot), but after that has been a dream (more or less. When sober 🙄)
DS2 is 17 and no moodiness yet. But I'm waiting...

DD1 13-16 was worst, then we gradually had a sprinkling of better days and now she’s 17 you can actually have conversations with her again. She’s not all sweetness and light, and is grumpiness personified in the mornings (except with the cat) but she’s ok.

DD2 15-ongoing, she just turned 16 and only ever says yes, no or I don’t know. Mostly no. It’s like having a massive toddler and it’s draining the life out of me.

Luckily their ‘worst’ times only overlapped for about 6 months or I would have had to run away somewhere!

As a horrifying teenager myself from 14-16, I'm absolutely dreading it from my boys.

DS1 has just turned 12 and has always been twitchy and prone to anxiety, negativity and anger outbursts (at himself) so I've already got him on the wait list for a therapist so he has someone he might prefer to grunt at other than me or DH.
I'm hoping he will come through unscathed though.

Ds2 is 9 and I expect any changes from him would be met with absolute horror given he's a general ray of sunshine, has great self esteem and is comfortable in himself. He's the one who will probably put us through the wringer as hormonal mood swings would be such a change from his personality now!

God speed all parents approaching this unforgiving landscape of teenage parenting! 👍🏼

13-15.

12-15