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Original poster

Cubs trip to church

59 replies

Coffeeandme · 03/10/2023 05:14

Our Cubs leaders have said they are going on a trip to a CofE church which is nearly 7 miles away from our town. Looking at Google maps the church is in the middle of nowhere, will take 15 mins each way for which parents will need to make the trip 4 times total.

Do you think this is ok - virtually an hour’s travelling and 25 miles, for Cubs to spend 1.5 hours at an ordinary CofE church?

We live in a large town with many churches, a mosque and synagogue.

With the CoL and petrol prices I’m surprised that they wouldn’t pick a local church, plus some parents can’t simply stay for the duration at the church as they have other DC or work to do at home.

OP posts:
redskytonights · 03/10/2023 07:26

I'd assume the church was one where one of the leaders went or had a connection there.
I don't see 15 minutes drive as a big deal really - surely it's quite normal to drive that sort of distance for clubs - and parents can car pool or just hang around there if they just don't want to drive back and forth?

reluctantbrit · 03/10/2023 07:31

Do talk to the leader. They will have a reason, it may be not really obvious.

I am sure there are parents who are able to take your child and don't expect you to reciprocate. We carpool for Explorers and one family didn't have a car for 2 months, no issue, life sometimes happen.

DD also volunteers with the Beavers and when they are off-site, I take her, sit in the car with a book, hot chocolate and enjoy one hour of peace.

Original poster
Coffeeandme · 03/10/2023 08:35

So everyone says ask others for a lift but the usual consensus on non-driver MN threads is that non-drivers are nothing but freeloaders 🤷‍♀️

DH cannot give reciprocal lifts due to his working hours and it’s only in exceptional circumstances that he can get time off.

@Sleeplessinseattle234 I volunteered with his Beaver group for nearly two years so I know well what it is like planning outings etc.

OP posts:

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WasThereAnotherTroyforHertoBurn · 03/10/2023 08:42
Cat Omg GIF

Oooh the drama.

I had a DS at beavers, I would happily load up the car and take them there, I wouldn’t know or care, which child’s parents regularly gave lifts or didn’t for that matter.

TeenDivided · 03/10/2023 08:43

There is a difference between expecting a lift everyday as an adult, and asking for a lif for your child to somewhere unusual. i would have no issue at all with that. In fact as we have a 5-7 seater we have indeed done just that in the past.

PerspiringElizabeth · 03/10/2023 08:44

Your kid can skip that day, or lift share? Does seem a peculiar choice if there’s a range of churches far closer.

CurlewKate · 03/10/2023 08:47

@Coffeeandme "So everyone says ask others for a lift but the usual consensus on non-driver MN threads is that non-drivers are nothing but freeloaders"

Yes, but that's the mean spirited, tally keeping subset of Mumsnetters. In real life nobody minds giving lifts if the lift is to a place you're going to anyway.

Lindy2 · 03/10/2023 08:49

A 15 minute drive is nothing.

I think a lot of children attend clubs or activities that involve a 15 minute + journey. I'd say that was pretty standard really.

Limer · 03/10/2023 08:49

Offer petrol money if you're worried about being a freeloader.

crumblingschools · 03/10/2023 08:51

You volunteered at Beavers for 2 years, you have already reciprocated but in a different way.

Also if they do camps etc can your DH help with driving then if over a weekend?

rookiemere · 03/10/2023 08:52

As you've been a volunteer, you will know yourself how tricky it is to organise these things in your free time.

I don't think a venue which is 7 miles away is that much of an issue. I'd let the cub leader know your predicament about getting DC there and I'm sure they can sort a lift or take them themself. I'd have no issue giving a Dc a lift in those circumstances, we often car pooled for cub/scout trips and whilst reciprocity was nice if it happened, I was more interested in minimising people's trips, so if I'm driving there I'd rather have a full car than not.

Secondwindplease · 03/10/2023 08:56

Sorry OP but you’re being really miserable. It’s fine for the group to do something a little out of the ordinary sometimes - if it’s difficult for you explore options or don’t go. Doesn’t mean others can’t enjoy themselves.

Poniesandrainbows · 03/10/2023 08:58

Trips are common in Scouts here. Ds had an activity a 20 minute drive away once a week through the summer with Scouts as well the normal Scouts weekly meeting. He's got various trips coming up this month that involve driving. You may find it comes up more often for your ds.

rookiemere · 03/10/2023 08:59

In fact thinking about it, the only parents I found annoying were those who never volunteered for anything- sometimes the group needed helpers - until the one time we were going somewhere of interest to most adults. Suddenly they were inundated with parent helpers- cub leader said I could go if I wanted as I volunteered for the more mundane events, but I passed as it was good to have a week off.

So yes your volunteering more than covers a few lifts.

CurlewKate · 03/10/2023 09:27

"Sorry OP but you’re being really miserable. "

No she isn't. She's taken the horrible subset of mean spirited Mumsnetters to be what everyone's like. It makes me so angry!

elliesmummy19 · 03/10/2023 09:30

I wouldn’t mind tbh. I’d probably take a book/download something to watch on my phone and sit in the car/go for a walk rather than doing the journey back again.

RoseAndRose · 03/10/2023 09:35

I hope you're contributing to the life of the Pack, and are suggesting and offering to arrange the trips to the mosque, synagogue and other denomination churches as you have noted the lack of them. I doubt they'd do more than one visit with a religious theme per term, but they'd be really grateful for someone to get that sort of programme underway.

Assuming of course that the visit is, as you insinuate, to look at the religious life of the church. And that it's not a venue for the District Harvest Festival (or similar) that changes venue every year.

Ted27 · 03/10/2023 09:42

I don't drive and on the occasions my son needed a lift for a trip no one minded. There were a couple of people who did this regularly. I always brought back nice biscuits or chocolate from holidays to give them and my home made jams were always well received

CeeJay81 · 03/10/2023 09:43

I'm obviously a free loader then? as my kids do cubs/explorers and we have no car. Someone is always fine with giving us a lift. We've had a lift from the same person may times(my ds is quite pally with their son) and i gave them a box of chocolates cause I coukdbt recipicate. Mumsnet is definitely not the reality thank god!

rookiemere · 03/10/2023 09:46

Ted27 · 03/10/2023 09:42

I don't drive and on the occasions my son needed a lift for a trip no one minded. There were a couple of people who did this regularly. I always brought back nice biscuits or chocolate from holidays to give them and my home made jams were always well received

Dammit why have I never given lifts to someone who could offer home made jams Smile!

imnotwhoyouthinkiam · 03/10/2023 09:50

CeeJay81 · 03/10/2023 09:43

I'm obviously a free loader then? as my kids do cubs/explorers and we have no car. Someone is always fine with giving us a lift. We've had a lift from the same person may times(my ds is quite pally with their son) and i gave them a box of chocolates cause I coukdbt recipicate. Mumsnet is definitely not the reality thank god!

My best friends parents gave me lifts to different clubs for years because my mum didn't have a car. They never minded. Mum offered petrol money, they declined. One of them drove me to the station at 4am one year for a school trip rather than let mum and me walk in the dark.

I suppose you could say she reciprocated by helping run the beavers/cubs that their sons attended. So they helped with the girls activities, mum helped with the boys.
We also had a neighbour who drove us to holidays a couple of times. Although Mum may well have paid the petrol for that.

I'm glad I live in a world where people help each other out.

SquirmOfEels · 03/10/2023 09:52

CurlewKate · 03/10/2023 08:47

@Coffeeandme "So everyone says ask others for a lift but the usual consensus on non-driver MN threads is that non-drivers are nothing but freeloaders"

Yes, but that's the mean spirited, tally keeping subset of Mumsnetters. In real life nobody minds giving lifts if the lift is to a place you're going to anyway.

I didn't have a car for a long time

So I used to reciprocate in other ways - like walking a small pack of DC between school and the footy club in the nearby park, so other parents only had to pick up once and later. Or taking another child from the next street on the bus to and from a birthday party (so the parents didn't have to go at all), and loads of other little favours.

Reciprocations doesn't have to be an exact match, rather a patchwork of things that help

ThreeFeetTall · 03/10/2023 09:55

CurlewKate · 03/10/2023 09:27

"Sorry OP but you’re being really miserable. "

No she isn't. She's taken the horrible subset of mean spirited Mumsnetters to be what everyone's like. It makes me so angry!

I agree. I hate all those threads about CFs, it just stops people wanting to be part of a community. Yes you can ask a favour (for a lift) but you should offer a favour in return, doesn't need to be exact same thing.

Mariposista · 03/10/2023 10:25

cuckyplunt · 03/10/2023 07:19

Either your child commits to something and learns that it is a commitment and that it is important to attend whenever they can, as other people are giving up their time are relying on them to turn up and take part.
Or you teach them that it’s okay to duck out when things get mildly inconvenient.

This

crumblingschools · 03/10/2023 10:29

OP’s volunteering at Beavers possibly meant that section could continue running. In the last couple of years we have had to stop running Beavers for a few terms as we couldn’t find enough volunteers to run it.

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