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Original poster

DC2 due on DC1's birthday

25 replies

toddlerandbaby · 02/10/2023 17:16

Hi!
I'm pregnant with my second one. My little boy will be turning 2 on the day DC2 is due. I will probably be giving birth on be in labour during his birth and I would feel really guilty if he didn't have a birthday. If the baby is born before that, I will probably be too exhausted to host anything for him at home or even celebrate it out.

I know he's too young to know but what would you do?

My husband suggested doing a little birthday party in the hospital room after baby is born.

Or should I celebrate his birthday on a later/earlier date?

Make him celebrate with grandparents without us there (I would feel so guilty)

Or take it easy and just have cake and presents at home?

OP posts:

angelopal · 02/10/2023 17:19

Celebrate a day early. That way he gets his day before the baby arrives.

Original poster

toddlerandbaby · 02/10/2023 17:19

angelopal · 02/10/2023 17:19

Celebrate a day early. That way he gets his day before the baby arrives.

That's a great idea. Thank you so much!

OP posts:

cheezncrackers · 02/10/2023 17:21

Babies rarely arrive on their due date, so it's statistically unlikely that DC1 and DC2 will share a birthday, but to be on the safe side I think I'd arrange a birthday party with grandparents, cake, etc a couple of weeks before the due date so DC1 can have a special day where he's made a fuss of. And if DC2 does arrive on that day, well just make the best of it. Will the grandparents be looking after DC1 that day? I'm sure they'll make a fuss of him, if so.

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AlwaysFreezing · 02/10/2023 17:28

Just get it all organised now, with a standby host (your mum/mil/brother/best mate).

If you are in hospital, get dh to pick up a small cake, make sure his baby sibling has a birthday gift for him and have a small 'party' where he meets his brother or sister.

I think if its all sorted well before the event, everyone will know what they've got to do!

Oh and prepare an answer for who's birthday it was 9 months ago!

AuntyMabelandPippin · 02/10/2023 17:35

One of mine was due on his brother's birthday, so we celebrated the weekend before just in case. He was desperate for the baby to be born on his birthday, thought it would be the best present.

I was rather glad the baby was four days late.

UsingChangeofName · 02/10/2023 17:46

I mean due dates are very unpredictable, and nor will you know how well you are in the week before your due date.

If you are feeling up to it, have a little tea party with cake and candles and some present opening a week or so before. He will have no idea what date it is.

If you are struggling, then do it a month or so later if you are up to it then.

SleepingStandingUp · 02/10/2023 17:49

He's 2, he has no idea. Have a birthday day tea with some presents a week early. Of course if you go into labour early change it, so don't do lots of build up.
Depending on timings you might be out of action all day. It's fine, he'll never remember and it won't affect him. Give him rest of presents on his birthday of you're not in labour or a week after if you are

Honestly op, it's fine

JD90 · 02/10/2023 17:54

I'm actually in a similar situation, except my DD will be turning 14. My actual due date isn't until 2 1/2 weeks after her birthday but unfortunately it is looking unlikely I will be allowed to go past 36/37 weeks due to complications so it's a fair chance of same/very similar birthdays or me being in hospital on her birthday. It's a bit of a tough line between understanding the situation and feeling bad about it. I just keep reassuring her that whatever happens with baby she won't be pushed to the side.
Good luck OP

Wrongsideofpennines · 02/10/2023 17:57

At 2 they don't know the day nor will remember. So I would just do a small celebration on another day with just close family.

I wouldn't celebrate in the hospital room though, it won't feel like a birthday party for him and he might be resentful if it feels like new baby is stealing something from him.

reluctantbrit · 02/10/2023 18:44

At that age they have no idea about dates so you can just do it a week in advance.

I was born a day before my sister's 8th birthday. That was at a time when mums were in hospital for a week.

I think my dad arranged something and my grandmother was there for a while as well. As far as I know my sister wasn't really that happy about me arriving anyway so I think a botched birthday was the icing on the cake.

Crunchymum · 02/10/2023 19:01

Just be organised. Have gifts / cards / cake sorted so you can tweak what date you celebrate as necessary.

I had DC3 (2 weeks early) 3 days before DC2's birthday and DC3 ended up in neonatal. I still managed to get the balloons, do a cake for DC2. Thankfully she was too weeny to really know what was going on.

**DC3 wasn't poorly per se but did go on to be diagnosed with a rare genetic condition.

Freddiefox · 02/10/2023 19:05

Mine was the same dc2 due the same day as dc1 birthday.. but I think it stressed about it so much dc2 came 2 weeks late

mummy21blueeyed · 02/10/2023 19:07

You don’t know wctually when your baby’s due it’s just a rough estimate I know someone who had this problem but her second born was born a week early. It’s just this one year and then next year it’ll all be special with two babies. You can’t help the fact this is happening and I’m sure your first child feels and knows they are loved. Mum guilt is the worst but your bringing the best gift into the world a sibling.

OhcantthInkofaname · 02/10/2023 19:07

There is only 10% chance your child will arrive on it's due date.

FallingAutumnLeaf · 02/10/2023 19:12

DS2 was 3 days old on his brother's second birthday.
DS1 was delighted by presents and cake.
We didnt do a party.

Chances of baby being born on due date is low.

siegfriedchild · 02/10/2023 19:16

Aw. I hope it all goes well

Zwellers · 02/10/2023 19:16

mummy21blueeyed I suspect the sibling might not think that.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 02/10/2023 19:17

Ds1's 5th birthday was 3 days before my due date for ds2. We had his birthday party 2.5 weeks early (last one we did at home for him - it was a nightmare. The boys in his class were, to say the least, spirited). I started having contractions that evening a few hours after the party, at which stage we were having a snowstorm. Headed in to hospital, which was 30 minutes away normally but took overan hour. This was a tad concerning as I have short labours. Contractions stopped by the following day and ds2 ended up being born 4 days before ds1's birthday after a 3 hour labour from first contraction to delivery.

It was fine 😁. Ds1 was delighted to have his birthday party and then we had a cake on his actual birthday.

thesurreymum · 02/10/2023 19:22

Laughing at your husbands idea of having a little birthday party in the hospital room 😂

Lottie4 · 02/10/2023 19:37

You don't necessarily need to do a birthday party at that age. I'm sure he'd love a day out based on his interests, ie if he likes trains, go on a steam train. That can be done early or a few days after with your new baby. A card and any presents from you and DH can be given to him the day following your return home.

Winnipeggy · 02/10/2023 19:58

He has no idea when (or what) his birthday is so just have a party whenever you think you'll be able to. Do it a couple of weeks before due date if you have to, a party is a party

MargaretThursday · 02/10/2023 20:08

bringing the best gift into the world a sibling.
🤣 I very much doubt a 2yo will think that. Even if later they're best friends, which is by no means guaranteed, I doubt at 2yo they will.

Dd2 was due one day before dd1's due date. Luckily dd1 was a bit late and dd2 was early, so there's actually over a week between then.
We had dd1's presents on the day and her birthday party 3 months later, and she just thought that was exciting to get an extra party.

itsgettingweird · 02/10/2023 20:16

I'd be going to a tea party the weekend before the week your due.

So if due a Thursday 27th id be aiming for 15th!

He won't know and o think he'd much prefer a day all about him before sibling arrives rather than having any idea if it's his actual birthday or not!

Katy123456 · 03/10/2023 17:35

Good chance baby won't come on due date. I'd plan a small birthday tea on the day or around the day - just close family who can be flexible. Get all food and gifts ordered in advance (don't stress about making a cake just buy a supermarket one which will last if you need to postpone). If you need to postpone then do and tell everyone celebrations are on hold till your out.

UndercoverCop · 03/10/2023 17:39

I was six weeks early DB was two weeks late, we ended up with birthdays a day apart. DM went into labour at my 2nd birthday party. I don't even remember it other than from family anecdotes about my gran's new carpet getting soaked.

Most babies don't come on their due date. Play it by ear and do something closer to the time, the reason it was my gran's carpet not my parents', was they held my birthday tea party there just in case, as it happened that was a good idea. I stayed with my aunty and grandad while my gran drove my mum and dad to the hospital. I have no recollection.

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