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Original poster

Holidaying with your friends

35 replies

CharliesAngles · 02/10/2023 13:45

Would you? Have you?

Tell me about your experiences please - the good, the bad and the ugly!

(I’m talking more about just a group of friends, no other halves, no kids, but please feel free to share your stories about those too!)

OP posts:
EmmaStone · 02/10/2023 14:11

I do quite a few group holidays - groups of local mums on a weekend city break (the dads do one too). There's always a bit of drama, but nothing too significant, and the fun far outweighs anything negative. It's better if there are a few of you (I'd say at least 4) - the more there are, the easier it is to hive off and do what you want, the fewer you are, it tends to be everyone doing stuff together most of the time. I tend to request a single room, but many share.

We also do group holidays as a family - sometimes up to 30 of us including the children. Again, there's usually some drama (a child needing hospital or similar), but great in the evenings, chilling over a bottle (or 5) of wine. As there's so many of us, we all tend to do our own things in the daytime and come back for dinner. We all pitch in with the shopping, cooking and clearing, so no-one is having to bear the brunt of any of it.

So, positive thunbs up from me.

sockarefootwear · 02/10/2023 14:47

Holidays with a group of friends (no OH or DC) - if you are all looking for a similar type of holiday and fairly laid back I think these can be great fun. The only really bad experiences I've had were when one of the group wanted to spend the entire holiday chasing after men and expected the rest of us to facilitate this (eg. every evening spent either chasing a man or hanging around when her ONS and his mates were drinking, allowing her to bring random men back to our apartment, waiting around for her latest ONS to leave before going on days out etc etc).

Holidays with friends and DC- never again. Far too difficult to organise what everyone wants to do and navigate differences in parenting styles/DC preferences etc without falling out

Digestive28 · 02/10/2023 14:49

It works if there is a balance of relaxed and organised. So if one person is happy to book a couple of things and you suck it up even if not fully your best idea because they volunteered to book it when you didn’t then that’s fine. It’s always more fun then not but I also really like spending time with my friends.

Mary46 · 02/10/2023 15:14

Did a city break with school mam overnight. Girls were teens. Girls not as close then as had started secondary so had drifted. We didnt go again. You def see a different side of people away but yes we enjoyed

Sparehair · 02/10/2023 19:58

Ive done quite a few, mainly weekends or long weekends. Absolutely love them. Just great to get away and only have yourself to care about for a few days and loads of time to chat.

Allthegoodusernamesareused · 02/10/2023 20:30

I do a city break with my closest friend most years. We're quite well matched travel companions, in that we like to take things as they come and aren't stressed about seeing all the sights. If one wants to do something the other doesn't, we compromise.
We went away with our wider group of friends once, and the dynamic was off, too many conflicting demands.
Going away with my dc and a friend and her DC, I do that annually also and I spend a lot of time biting my tongue regarding her parenting!

reluctantbrit · 02/10/2023 20:47

I did an overnight stay with two friends, would do it again but definitely not longer.

We did a longer weekend break as a group of 4 families. But we all had our own lodge and did one day trip together and otherwise just met for food and drinks in the evening. That was great as it meant we had our own space and could do things we enjoyed in our own time while still having company.

bellsandwhistles333 · 02/10/2023 21:01

Recently did a trip with myself, husband and our two close friends (both female) one was a dream to be around the other a nightmare...

Hated the food, was bored, wanted to drink way too much etc etc I'd never go with her again!!

43ontherocksporfavor · 02/10/2023 21:02

Not for me. Holidaying is quite personal. Have been away with my sister but we like the same things .

Georgiepud · 02/10/2023 21:04

All good. As long as you have your own bathrooms.

ladeluge · 02/10/2023 21:08

When I go away with a friend or friends, I must have my own room. I dislike sharing a room with friends because I snore and dribble and often have monologues in my sleep, as I have been told! So it is for them as well as me. Makes for a great trip.

Sometimes a friend and I will do our own thing during the day, depending on our interests, but going out for dinner every night together is lovely. We exchange info about what we did and where we went etc. obviously if we all want to do the same thing in the day we will.

It works fine and no dramas.

PerfectMatch · 02/10/2023 21:10

I've done this several times, although only for a short break / long weekend not a proper holiday. Has always been fab! Would definitely do it again.

rookiemere · 02/10/2023 21:11

I go away twice a year on two separate trips with friends .

We tend to have separate rooms now, just because it's easier if someone needs to drop out ( now it tends to be more because of elderly DPs rather than due to DCs). We also book flights separately- after covid i'm a lot more hesitant about making a group booking.

We use splitwise to calculate the costs- saves any bad feelings about anyone paying too much and we're all reasonably cost conscious so all tend to eat and drink roughly the same amounts.

We have lovely trips and I hope it continues.

Believeinmarmite · 02/10/2023 21:13

I do this frequently with one group of about 8 friends, it's great fun, we are all pretty well matched in what we like to do and have a brilliant time. Other groups of friends - no way!

Mariposista · 02/10/2023 21:42

I have many friends but literally only have 2 who I could go away with. The only two who can keep up with me stamina wise haha I don't 'do' tiredness, moods, excessive screen time, impatient snappiness by day 3 etc.

sunshineandshowers40 · 02/10/2023 22:28

U need a good mix/balance of people. I'm relaxed/chilled me on holiday with friends. I have learnt over the years which of my friends need to believe they are in charge!

toadasoda · 02/10/2023 23:11

For reasons I can't quite put my finger on, I don't like friend holidays. Longest I've ever been is 3 nights (twice) and enjoyed the first a bit but hated the second. I get very stressed being in a group for a long period, I'm the same with 1:1, its all too intense and I need a lot of alone time and I'm conscious that it comes across as being a bit weird. I think of it like a social claustrophobia.

Same group are going away this year again and I've declined. But another 2 friends and I have talked for years about a spa weekend and it's now booked for February. When booking my friend had a quote for a twin and single and was worried it was too pricey and I was literally sending a msg to say I'd rather pay for my own room, when she sent another msg with a quote for a triple and said she was delighted as that's all she could afford. Its months away and im already very anxious about sharing a room with 2 others, but I have to. I'm almost regretting booking it.

UsingChangeofName · 02/10/2023 23:32

I've been on short breaks (2 or 3 nights) with various combinations of friends or relations or a mix of both over the years.
They can be great.
I would have to know someone very well to even consider going for a whole week or longer, and even then I'd want separate accommodation and an understanding before we went that we would probably spend some time apart.

However nice people are and however well you get on with them on a night out, or even a day out, people have very different expectations of holidays and there is a lot of potential for fall out, or at best, resentment.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 03/10/2023 05:23

It has been a very long time since I did a ‘friends’ holiday. Possibly because I am no longer friends with the friends I holidayed with.

I learned things about them I didn’t like.

The holidays weren’t fun and they weren’t fun.

Lastchancechica · 03/10/2023 05:55

It depends how close you are to them.

Family holidays can be a massive strain with dc (other dc are annoying) but if you are going on a girls holiday it should be fun. I always enjoyed them, but not so much now. Holidays are too rare and precious and we need to completely switch off.

Word of warning. Avoid any school Mum holidays. Over the years we have seen so many fall outs from these and the kids end up suffering.

AuntieMarys · 03/10/2023 06:30

I've done quite a few...always had my own room. You need to make sure you all have a good time....work out itinerary before hand so people can do their own thing if they don't want to fall in with everyone else. For instance NYC.... some wanted shopping, others sight seeing.

AboutRound · 03/10/2023 06:39

Lastchancechica · 03/10/2023 05:55

It depends how close you are to them.

Family holidays can be a massive strain with dc (other dc are annoying) but if you are going on a girls holiday it should be fun. I always enjoyed them, but not so much now. Holidays are too rare and precious and we need to completely switch off.

Word of warning. Avoid any school Mum holidays. Over the years we have seen so many fall outs from these and the kids end up suffering.

Had a great city break with 2 school mums and our DDs. Helps that one is a v good friend and the other is even lovelier as a person than I had realised. DDs all get on and have known each other since they were 2 (were 15 when we went on the trip).

I have short breaks with a good friend of mine most years: works really well as we like doing the same things and are both flexible. Just back from a wonderful 4 night one. V different to holiday with DH so I value the change.

rookiemere · 03/10/2023 06:41

Mariposista · 02/10/2023 21:42

I have many friends but literally only have 2 who I could go away with. The only two who can keep up with me stamina wise haha I don't 'do' tiredness, moods, excessive screen time, impatient snappiness by day 3 etc.

Holidays don't need to be exhausting. The best thing about going with friends rather than a partner, is that I can happily go to bed, rather than staying up for additional drinks, and yes - mumsnet on my iPad.

We naturally take a break on day 3 when we do city trips. I have little interest in shopping so will sight see whilst others hit the stores.

Part of going as a group is recognising others strengths and weaknesses. Like when I went skiing with two friends we would agree which coffee hut to meet at, I would stop after a couple of runs, next friend after 4-5 and third friend would do about 10 before a pit stop but we were all happy with the arrangement.

Lulu1919 · 03/10/2023 06:42

We have as a couple
Often did breakfast together but not always
Did some day trips together
Did some days apart..diff pool....or beach etc
Sometimes met for lunch
Usually met for dinner
Loved it
Also we've done same hotel ..but our flight was a couple days later ...so they had a few days alone at beginning and we had few days at the end ..also worked well.

MermaidMummy06 · 03/10/2023 06:55

I've done one where it worked quite well. It was only a short break & I made it clear if friend, her DH & DD were joining us (me, DH, 2 DC) what our plans & boundaries were & we wouldn't change them. They were fine with it & it was quite enjoyable as we all did things we wanted.

Same friend just crashed our beach holiday last week - there's over 100km of coastline to choose from but they 'accidentally' chose our spot. Wanted to join me for my solo morning walks, dinners, activities etc. I was, and still am, livid (didn't allow the walking & activities kept my boundaries).

So it can work if rules and boundaries & clear & adhered to. Otherwise it's an absolute nightmare.