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How can I stop these painful, intrusive thoughts?

28 replies

BridgetJonesAsFuck · 01/10/2023 20:12

I've had them most of my life but they seem to get worse and they are just so extremely upsetting. I'm a huge animal lover particularly cats, rabbits and just basically anything furry and cute. Little birds etc. Absolutely adore them. I keep getting these images in my head of someone hurting them or them being harmed in the most horrifically traumatising way. Or one of my loved ones (relatives) being attacked or hurt by someone. The way it happens though is just so violent. These thoughts are like being forced to watch a film I can't switch off. They make me feel sick and panicky. When I feel it coming on I just feel dread sweeping over me. I stopped watching violent films years ago because I didn't want my brain to get even more inspiration. Game of Thrones? Forget it. Why does my brain produce these horrible violent thoughts and how can I get them to stop? I feel like it's some sort of self harm?

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 01/10/2023 20:20

It's awful isn't it? My intrusive thoughts are mostly around self harm but I sometimes get others. I'm not going to describe them because they would be traumatising to read.

The important thing to keep telling yourself is that you would never act on them / are not in control of the actions of others. Don't try to analyse them.

The more you try to stop having them, the more intense they become ime. I can only speak for myself but the only way I find works is staying calm, allowing them to run their course and distracting myself.

BridgetJonesAsFuck · 01/10/2023 20:21

Same I'm not writing down the thoughts I have because it would sicken anyone reading it. They are awful 😞

OP posts:
squareyedannie · 01/10/2023 20:21

You have to try and redirect your thoughts. Pick a memory that makes you happy.
I still get a few but it does get easier if you retrain your brain.

LizzieSiddal · 01/10/2023 20:25

Thanks for starting this thread as I have started getting these kind of thoughts recently and I thought I was the only one- they are so upsetting.

BridgetJonesAsFuck · 01/10/2023 20:28

LizzieSiddal · 01/10/2023 20:25

Thanks for starting this thread as I have started getting these kind of thoughts recently and I thought I was the only one- they are so upsetting.

Sorry you're suffering with this too. It's really hurtful isn't it?

OP posts:
defnotadomesticgoddess · 01/10/2023 20:31

Everyone has intrusive thoughts at some time. You can get stuck in a cycle if you have a thought, you attach meaning to it (it’s upsetting) and you try to stop it which reinforces it. Then they can happen more and become more disturbing. Agree with what pp said - you have to learn to sit with them, not fight or reason with them - I would ask your gp for a referral for cognitive behaviour therapy (cbt) with someone who can do exposure response prevention (ERP). It’s horrible to deal with but you can break the pattern and feel better. While you are waiting for help with this I would also try to do other things that you enjoy. Anything you can do to raise your self esteem or make you feel good (eg spending time with friends)makes it harder for these thoughts to stick in your mind 💐

Petunia90 · 01/10/2023 20:33

I'm really sorry to hear this, I suffer with intrusive thoughts too and have recently started 50mg setraline. It doesn't stop the thoughts, but it makes them less distressing and allows me to rationalise them. Maybe this could be something to consider?'

Redhothoochycoocher · 01/10/2023 20:37

I had a short course of CBT for I trust thoughts and the main thing we did was practising breathing techniques. This was years ago and I still use 'square breathing' when the thoughts get too much. It's awful though isn't it.

When mine first started I had a few months of not knowing what they were and it was so upsetting. It was only through relentless googling I found a name and then made a gp appointment but even then I did really know how to explain it as I'd never be able to tell someone what mine are.

All the best OP, hope you find something that helps.

roarrfeckingroar · 01/10/2023 20:38

I had these thoughts about horrific things happening to my baby when I had my first. It was early stages of post natal psychosis. It was caught quickly and sorted with medication then therapy before any damage was done.

BerfyTigot · 01/10/2023 21:36

I listened to Overcoming unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally Winston.
Can't remember much about it as it was about 5yrs ago but it definitely helped reduce them. I kept going over how I should have reacted to a bully. It's not easy, but it is possible. Good luck

AmadeustheAlpaca · 01/10/2023 21:48

Intrusive thoughts are a form of OCD and can be a symptom of underlying anxiety. I’ve suffered from them in the past and for me they were linked to depression, as well as lots of negative things in my life that needed to be changed before I got better. They usually take the form of the things that frighten and upset you most, basically your worst nightmare. Antidepressants helped me as well as working out what I had to change.

Sparkletastic · 01/10/2023 21:50

CBT really helped by DD. Her intrusive thoughts were associated with OCD.

NoNeedToHurry · 01/10/2023 21:54

I have a go-to new thought ready for when this happens. I get awful intrusive thoughts. But when I recognise I'm having one then I have a specific re-direct which I go to in my head.

I also have a recurring earworm of a song which I hate and find troubling (due to lyrics/associations) so as soon as it's in my head I actively start singing (in my head) a song by REM 😀

I find it helps me to have a specific plan of action for when the brain demons try and take over. Makes me feel.more in control.

Petunia90 · 01/10/2023 21:58

I have constant earworms, it's a nightmare.

InterFactual · 01/10/2023 22:10

Put the glass down.

If you don't know, this refers to a technique you can use to let go of bad thoughts long enough to get to sleep.

Imagine holding a glass of water in your hand while reading this thread. Feels easy enough to hold, right? Now imagine you have to hold it for half an hour. Your hand is getting tired. Imagine holding it for the rest of the day, without ever putting it down. Your arm would burn and your muscles would shake.

Worries are like holding the glass. Your mind can cope with them for a little while, but the more your hold onto them the harder it gets.

Tell yourself that you can put the glass down. You can shelve these intrusive thoughts until tomorrow. You allow yourself to unpack them and look at them, let them breathe for a bit and then make a conscious choice to put them back in the box.

The crucial element here is that you promise yourself that you are allowed to look at them again tomorrow. They aren't going anywhere, you can come back to them anytime. It's this part that helps to break the cycle because the thoughts stop being forbidden or taboo, so the unconscious brain is less tempted by them.

I do this often when I have a really difficult patch in life and I've always found it works if you consistently practice it for a good stretch of time like a couple of weeks.

Nicole1111 · 01/10/2023 22:17

Definitely sounds like ocd. Speak to your doctor and ask for a referral for cbt

TotalOverhaul · 01/10/2023 22:31

Have you tried reassuring the thoughts? When you get one, have a conversation with it as though it is a child scared that this could happen. Reason with the thought and say, 'Yes that would be awful but it's so unlikely to happen. Most people, when they see a sweet animal would stroke it gently or just watch it and smile at how lovely it is So thanks for your concern, but there's no need to worry that much.'

The other thing you can do is tell it that it is an unwanted thought. Just say, 'Yes I hear what you say but it's not helpful or relevant now, so back off. Right now I choose and prefer to think...' Then replace each intrusive thought with a really powerful gentle thought. The intrusive thoughts will come back with a vengeance but just pick them off, one by one and replace them with something calming and centering, either about being kind and loving to animals or just a different and more practical thought about doing the washing or picking up bread at lunchtime or

swanteapot · 01/10/2023 22:37

did something happen to you as a child of which you may be unaware? even something you don't remember or something. your subconscious is trying to tell you something! could even be from before you could speak. might be worth doing some "shadow" work, dream analysis etc. Maybe some ritual to tell your subconscious to please stop. I realise this might sound ridiculous but really thinking deeply about these things and where they might stem from can be immensely helpful, as can the power of ritual in stopping. Might be worth approaching a hypnotist, counsellor, Jungian therapist, shaman of some sort to look into it a bit more deeply! I realise this is a bit woo but there might be something there like a scared aspect of yourself or inner child that just needs talking to, on a more fundamental level so your subconscious can understand it's safe and so on. Some deep therapy of some sort might help.

Daphnethefox · 01/10/2023 23:13

I can't remember a time when I didn't have intrusive thoughts flash into my subconscious mind, very quickly and the. It's gone when I'm just doing normally everyday tasks and until recently I had guilted myself as far back as I can remember that I must have a deep rooted evilness to of thought the thoughts.
I didn't know other people had them too or the name for them.
I can't remember an age where these little thoughts weren't there.
Now that I know it's not some part of my own "badness"Ive been able to almost shush the thought before I even hear it in my own mind.
I hope that this makes some sense

MaidOfSteel · 01/10/2023 23:23

I have very intrusive thoughts, too. Mostly negatives ones about my body and appearance. I try hard to distract myself and have some set alternatives to think about when I notice the thoughts and feelings. It's difficult not to give in to believing these negative messages, though.

Sonolanona · 01/10/2023 23:29

Sertraline.
My DS2 has OCD and suffered from horrific intrusive thoughts.. he basically became a recluse because he thought he was a danger to the public :( (he's not!!) as his were so awful. He's highly anxious and on the autistic spectrum.

Sertraline plus a great CBT therapist has literally transformed his life (private.. the NHS was no help) He's on 150mg so quite a high dose and it has enabled him to live normally again.
It CAN be helped!

RantyAnty · 01/10/2023 23:39

It might be OCD.

CBT along with venlafaxine cured it.

BridgetJonesAsFuck · 03/10/2023 19:22

swanteapot · 01/10/2023 22:37

did something happen to you as a child of which you may be unaware? even something you don't remember or something. your subconscious is trying to tell you something! could even be from before you could speak. might be worth doing some "shadow" work, dream analysis etc. Maybe some ritual to tell your subconscious to please stop. I realise this might sound ridiculous but really thinking deeply about these things and where they might stem from can be immensely helpful, as can the power of ritual in stopping. Might be worth approaching a hypnotist, counsellor, Jungian therapist, shaman of some sort to look into it a bit more deeply! I realise this is a bit woo but there might be something there like a scared aspect of yourself or inner child that just needs talking to, on a more fundamental level so your subconscious can understand it's safe and so on. Some deep therapy of some sort might help.

This does sound interesting but I really don't think anything happened to me as a child. Even as a young girl (7, 8 years old) if we were in school singing hymns and I thought a song sounded sad enough I'd start crying thinking something awful was going to happen and I just wanted my parents to come and pick me up so I could give them a hug. I think I'm just morbid!

OP posts:
Thisisworsethananticpated · 05/11/2023 10:39

I get them about my ex
I know it’s for the best we have split
but cannot rid them and wish i could

it’s so annoying being a human

happyl · 05/11/2023 10:42

it's OCD. Can you afford private ERP (exposure response prevention) therapy? If you can, please do as the NHS provision isn't fit for purpose. Also, if you've got Bupa or private healthcare there's a brilliant inpatient programme for this in London which you'd probably qualify for

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