Never been to a baby shower- am I supposed to come laden with gifts? Help a sista out.

[ThePinkQualityStreet]

To be truthful I think baby showers are bit silly.
but a close friend is having one.

is it customary to take a gift?
if so what do people tend to buy?
if I buy something do I also take a gift when the baby is born?
HELP!!

Yes a gift is usually expected but it doesn't have to be a big or expensive one. I'm sure a friend would understand if you were cash strapped for example.

For gift ideas...
Homemade booties or blankets
Extra soft baby towel (we got a duck hooded one which we've used a lot)

I got my sister a baby medical kid, teething powder baby thermometer baby nail scissors, sudacrem, saline nose spray and calpol all in a handy bag, that went down very well.

Books are good. Anything by Chris Haughton is a good bet. There’s a particularly nice bedtime story one called ´Goodnight Everyone’ that makes an excellent baby gift.

I don't do gifts at the baby shower as i take a gift when baby is born. The ones i have been to are usually afternoon tea style ones, so i have paid out for the food etc

Or alternatively pampering stuff for the mum. Lovely skin moisturiser (hormones dried my skin to the point of cracking!) Face masks. Safty mug so she can drink hot tea while breast feeding. Homemade voucher for you to go and be her housekeeper/chef for the day so she can chill out with baby.

I did a lot of kindle reading on my phone as I could use it one handed. So kindle voucher if she's a reader.

Last one I went to, I made up a pamper pack for Mum. Some people brought baby clothes , nothing too over the top though. Like maybe a cute blanket or bath towel.

I have only been to one but I took a gift for the Mum and then gave the baby a gift once born.

Yes you have to take a gift to a baby shower (the whole purpose is to "shower" the first-time-mother with gifts - celebrations in pregnancy where gifts are not required is not a shower)

But "shower-type gift" is a euphemism for inexpensive and useful. You don't have to go laden, and you don't have to spend a lot.

Ok thank you for the replies.

I’ll get searching for a gift!

I took a gift to the last baby shower, a blanket and an outfit for when baby was 6 months. I then only gave a card when he was born, otherwise I think it’s OTT, especially as they had a naming ceremony with gift expectation too!

My niece asked shower guests (if they were intending on bringing a gift - no compulsion) to bring either their own favourite book from childhood or one they had enjoyed reading to their own children if they had them. Lovely idea - you could do it unilaterally I think. A good baby/young child book would be an excellent present.

Yes I think you're meant to take something.

I dislike baby showers and would never throw one myself. I think they're very grabby and all about 'stuff'.

I have only been to two, for close relatives. I asked in advance what they wanted and bought that so I knew it was something useful. But I didn't then buy another large gift when the baby was born as well, just a little teddy or something.

Some people have an amazon wishlist for these things which can be helpful.

And yes I agree that if you give a gift at a baby shower, you shouldn’t feel obligated to give a second gift when the baby is born. I’d do a gift for the baby shower and just a card when the baby arrives:

Wow!
They were really milking it, weren’t they!

I tend to bring a small gift for the mum like a wee pamper set to the baby shower and then get baby a gift when they arrive. I didn't expect any gifts at my shower and some people kindly brought a gift and some didn't which was totally fine but it depends on the person. I wasn't overly fussed on having one but my sister was lovely and really keen to throw one.

At the ones I've been to (in the US), guests have brought simple items like packets of onesies, baby socks and hats, gift cards to places like Target, Old Navy, and Gap, hand crocheted blankets, soft toys, board books, nice soaps, lotions, and candles for the mother to be, spare sets of crib sheets, throw blankets/ wraps / lightweight robes for cosy night time feedings, packs of muslins, cute little snowsuits.

I've been to a few where larger gifts were given (these were 'family and very close friends' showers). Gifts included a stroller, some nursery furniture, a high chair, a car seat.

Yes, it's customary to bring a gift.
No, you don't need to send a gift after the baby is born. In the US, friends tend to show up with casseroles and lasagna after the baby arrives (at least they do in my neck of the woods).

Showers and gift giving before the baby is born means the parents have time to send thank you notes to their friends and relatives before their lives get turned upside down.

Please no blankets. You get so many and they hardly get used.
Best gift is something practical like a pack of vests or zip pyjamas in a bigger size like 6-9 months. It didn't have to be expensive- H & M had done me two kids and is still going strong with my cousins children now. George at Asda also very nice. My best gift honestly was nappies.

When you visit the baby or the baby comes just a card with maybe a little something for mum like a nice hand cream or face mask or tasty snacks (especially snacks if she is breastfeeding)

What exactly did you think the “shower” bit referred to? Were you expecting to get wet?