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Physical attraction

2 replies

Focusplease · 01/10/2023 15:32

I've been divorced since 2018, single mum with 2 kids (12 and 9).

Haven't so much as been on a date in that time, just generally unsure if I can be bothered with another relationship. Ex husband has put me off! Also the whole idea of dating again terrifies me because it's been so long...i was last single aged 21, am now 38 and have lost a lot of confidence in that time.

However, I briefly went on Facebook dating a while back, just out of interest really to see what's out there! Then came off it again.

I've been talking to a guy who lives locally to me for quite a while, but haven't had the guts just to meet up with him.

Here's the thing...in lots of ways he seems great! Seems like a really good guy, keen to meet up with me and see where things go. I'm not exactly batting men off (far from it) so part of me thinks I should be glad he's so interested. However, as terrible as it sounds I really don't find him physically attractive based on his photos.

Part of me keeps thinking that I found my ex husband attractive and he turned out to be a nasty piece of work who continues to make my life incredibly difficult, so I really shouldn't care too much about how a guy looks as long as he's kind and treats me well. But as horrible as it sounds I just don't know if I'd get past the not fancying him part! Anyone else had a similar situation and the physical attraction grew over time?!

OP posts:
WmFnKdSg1234 · 01/10/2023 16:03

You're not ready to date. Who gave you the idea that you should be grateful if a man pays you attention?

It is reasonable to want to find your partner physically attractive - I am assuming you want a intimate relationship.

I would stop messaging this guy. Then do some thinking, about what you need to be happy in a relationship.

WmFnKdSg1234 · 01/10/2023 16:10

I would look at joining Meet Up - a social group, social events website. Build social skills and meet men through going along to something for an evening etc. With the focus being on doing something rather than one on one dating, with OLD or similar.

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