Can you help me understand why I feel so awful all the time?

[WestSouthWest]

Posting here because I’ve run out of ideas for how to help myself and after being dismissed by the GP (again). I feel like I must be missing something to feel as awful as I do.

I am 37 years old (female) and feeling terrible all the time. No energy, flat mood, anxious. My hair and skin is dull and lifeless, my periods are all over the place. Short cycles, long cycles, missed periods. GP says too early to think about peri-menopause or menopause. I am single and not on birth control. I do not take any form of regular medication and my GP will not prescribe any form of SSRI as I have reacted badly to these in the past.

I have been through a difficult period in my life with a divorce, a very disagreeable ex and 2 house moves since 2019. This on top of the pandemic and cost of living crisis. I now have my own home which I live in with my 10 year old DS. I am also 18 months sober as I have struggled with alcohol abuse and what I now recognise as self-medicating due to stress and anxiety.

In 2021 I began having uncontrollable panic attacks and could barely eat/sleep due to extreme anxiety. This was terrifying for me and I made huge lifestyle changes to help me feel better. Over time I have lost a significant amount of weight, quit alcohol, sorted out my sleep hygiene, started working out 3-4 times a week and eating a healthy and balanced diet. I do not drink caffeine after midday and take a women’s multivitamin supplement.

I live a very healthy lifestyle and have dutifully followed all the advice on how to feel better. I am just at a loss as to why I feel so drained, flat and anxious all the time. It doesn’t make sense and I feel like I’m missing something.

Can anyone relate? Any ideas would be gratefully appreciated.

I think your GP is misinformed about it being too early for perimenopause.

If you can afford to go private I would go for an initial conversation with a menopause specialist GP ( I use Newson who have an affiliated clinic where I live) but I imagine there are others. They tend to be more symptom focused and as pp said, you’re not necessarily too young. My dsis finally got HRT at 46 and it relieved a lot of the symptoms she’d been experiencing since her mid 30s that had bamboozled doctors. Early menopause wasn’t even considered.

Have you had blood tests for b12, iron, d3, thyroid?

iron needs to be over 50 for hair

I had a round of blood tests about 6 months ago, all were within normal range which (whilst good news) was a bit frustrating because I thought this might offer an answer.

I will certainly look into a private consultation @Sparehair. I may need to save up for this, have lost trust in the NHS completely.

SSRI’s are only one group of anti depressants. There’s lots of others.

I agree it could easily be early meno.

Meanwhile I strongly suggest taking some more targetted supplements. I take vit b complex, magnesium, herbal-based iron (Floradix or Feroglobin capsules) and Vit D spray. I also take L-Tyrosine but lots of people find it gives them headaches, so you may not want to prioritise that unless you are really exploring every way of getting more energy.

Since starting the supplements my thin hair has become noticeably thicker. My hairdresser comments on it. And I feel less anxious too. I wouldn't take much notice of NHS 'normal' blood tests. Our levels are set at a very low bar to try not to stretch our already over-stretched health system.

I think you sound depressed. There are a number of antidepressants around that aren't SSRIs. I'm on MIRTAZAPINE, which works very well for me.