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Original poster

DD upset about teacher's mean comment. Do I address it with him?

25 replies

namechanged12312 · 30/09/2023 23:28

My 15 year old DD has a stutter.

Yesterday, she had a presentation to do in front of her class.

Because of her stutter, it took a bit longer than the rest of the students and at the end of it, the teacher said, in front of everyone: "We will have had time to die three times".

Her classmates thought it was funny which made her feel even worse.

What do I do? Do I address it with him/the school? Do I just let it go and tell my daughter that sometimes people make stupid comments and that she shouldn't take them personally?

Thank you

OP posts:

Whowahway123 · 30/09/2023 23:29

Raise merry hell! 🤬

I am fuming on your behalf. Do not let this one go at all

reginaPhalange1990 · 30/09/2023 23:30

I would be livid. Definitely kick off about this

skippy67 · 30/09/2023 23:31

Yes. You should definitely say something.

Interested in this thread?

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qlapen · 30/09/2023 23:31

I'm a teacher. If this happened why on Earth wouldn't you address it, completely inappropriate 🤷‍♀️

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 30/09/2023 23:32

I would double check with my Dd again and if genuinely believed a teacher said that I’d raise merry hell at the school.

I worked in education for 20+ years hence the double checking as sometimes it’s not quite what the child first says.

However if a teacher mocked my child in that way I would take it up with the school strongly as that is disgusting and should never happen.

What an example to set the other teenagers!

CantThinkOfANewUsernameAgain · 30/09/2023 23:33

Normally when i see thread regarding teachers im ready to say yabu but on this occasion yanbu. I'd be making a complaint! Your poor DD

Wolvesart · 30/09/2023 23:36

If that happened it’s totally out of order. Something I’d discuss with teacher one to one. If they refuse, see the Head

Original poster

namechanged12312 · 30/09/2023 23:37

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 30/09/2023 23:32

I would double check with my Dd again and if genuinely believed a teacher said that I’d raise merry hell at the school.

I worked in education for 20+ years hence the double checking as sometimes it’s not quite what the child first says.

However if a teacher mocked my child in that way I would take it up with the school strongly as that is disgusting and should never happen.

What an example to set the other teenagers!

Edited

That is true.
One of her classmates had once complained that one their Mathematics teacher tried to insult his masculinity and told him he wasn't a man. Parents were fuming until they confronted the teacher and he explained that their son was crying over his test results and the teacher tried to clumsily console him by telling him it was just a test, to be brave and be a man.

But I feel like in this situation the sentence structure doesn't really leave room for misunderstanding. That teacher is known for his snarky comments and haughty attitude as well.

OP posts:

Fifireee · 30/09/2023 23:39

Yes.
This is appalling.
Ask for a meeting.
Make sure he knows and your dd knows this is crass, appalling behaviour.
Be calm, clear and give him hell.

Fifireee · 30/09/2023 23:40

Tell your dd that there are many many women on Mumsnet who would happily join a posse to bloody tell him what a twat he is and how amazing she is.

NursieBernard · 30/09/2023 23:40

Please contact the school and let them know what has happened. Also tell your daughter what an absolute twat that teacher is.

I have a stammer and the only person to make fun was my secondary school maths teacher. My son also has a stammer and he was mimicked by his primary school head teacher. These teachers do exist.

Fiddlesticks25 · 30/09/2023 23:41

What the first poster said.

(Tbh I'd also get pretty arsey with a teacher telling a pupil to "be a man", even if it was said with best intentions. But that is beside the point)

zazazoop · 30/09/2023 23:42

I would address this with the head and the board of governors if necessary. Its hardly reflective of an inclusive school.

Original poster

namechanged12312 · 30/09/2023 23:48

Thank you everyone

OP posts:

Justhereforthebabynames · 30/09/2023 23:57

I would double check with her that she hadn't given a really long presentation, as in one with lots more content than the other pupils' presentations, to ensure he was referring to the stutter. It is so inappropriate if he was referring to her stutter. What on earth was he thinking?

ChangedName654321 · 01/10/2023 00:09

I am fuming on your behalf. I would go straight to the head about this. It's disgusting behaviour from someone who is quite honestly in the wrong profession.

Op, you'll never be in the wrong to stand up for your daughter

Original poster

namechanged12312 · 01/10/2023 00:10

I'll ask to see him on Monday.
Thank you all for your help!

OP posts:

SammyScrounge · 01/10/2023 01:17

I don't think this teacher should get away with mocking your daughter's difficulty. He has made it less likely that she will become confident in public speaking since he has encouraged the entire class to laugh at her. That was an appalling thing to do.
Go and see the HT. She will know the nastiness of his actions and the likely impact on your girl.

coxesorangepippin · 01/10/2023 01:19

Er, yes.

Raise it. High.

Topseyt123 · 01/10/2023 01:28

Yes, I would complain about this. It is totally inappropriate, not to mention spiteful and nasty.

It also set a very poor example to the other students and was not at all clever of that teacher. Yes, I'd want to meet him. I'd also involve the Head of Year, not just Mr. Snarky.

Original poster

namechanged12312 · 01/10/2023 01:31

DD doesn't want me to bring it up with him. She's terrified he will call her out in front of the whole class, or take a dislike to her and openly show it.

OP posts:

PTSDBarbiegirl · 01/10/2023 04:39

Yes. Speak to the head teacher and voice concern about the humiliating way your child was treated. First be sure of the context, relationship with teacher but doesn't sound acceptable to me.

PostOpOp · 01/10/2023 05:10

namechanged12312 · 01/10/2023 01:31

DD doesn't want me to bring it up with him. She's terrified he will call her out in front of the whole class, or take a dislike to her and openly show it.

Teens often don't want us to intervene in things but sometimes we have to, it's our job.

This teacher has an incredibly unhealthy dynamic with his pupils if she fears further comments from him. It says quite a lot - as did his "be a man" comment. Imagine what this guy can get away with because the children be are too afraid of being humiliated by him!

I'm sympathetic of your DD's feelings about not wanting you to say anything. I was also a kid who was mocked my a teacher due to him not liking my mother (he even made reference to her in front of the class!). I also am quite hesitant about fighting children's battles for them. But what this teacher appears to have said, coupled with the dynamic your DD feels, means this is a battle that needs to be fought on her behalf. She needs to become "untouchable" to him.

I don't know whether it's possible to bypass him and go to the head on this occasion, due to the fact she's scared of being mocked aka bullied, further.

Finally, is it not some kind of "disability" to have a lisp? I put it in quote because I know there are different thoughts about the word. If she had a permanent limp and the PE teacher humiliated her for that would it not be similar? If so, I'd use that as a reason to go straight to the head. If not, sorry for the comparison - kind of brainstorming how to shut this guy down.

MariaVT65 · 01/10/2023 05:19

I would go above him and report it.

This would be inappropriate even if your DD just simply gave a long presentation without a stutter. She shouldn’t be mocked in front of the whole class, it would be something that is fed back individually. Same goes if this happened in an adult workplace.

Catsmere · 01/10/2023 05:24

@PostOpOp

If I'm reading the OP correctly, I don't think the mathematics teacher who made the "be a man" comment is DD's teacher. (Plus he doesn't sound like he'd be trying to offer comfort, however ineptly, to anyone!)

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