Funky/emo/goth mums...wHERE ARE YOU

[Cosmod]

I was hopeful I'd find someone to befriend once my DD started nursery, but nope I still get death stares and side eye in the school playground!! The kids with complement my hair colour or make up and their parents will STARE. ME. DOWN.

I've always found it hard to approach people or be close friends with people who aren't like me. I just never grew out of my 13 year old self's emo phase and I just wanna find those like me.

I'm only 23, my DD is 3. So I'm quite young, and that's another reason why people stare at me and don't tend to talk to me. I live in a fairly rough area and probably stick out like a sore thumb, but I don't really care as Im not changing myself to fit in. Im so desperate for people like me, those that don't take themselves to seriously and have a uniqueness to themselves.

I literally have no friends. I stayed with a close group of work mates until about 3 months ago when they all decided they wanted nothing to do with me out of the blue. I asked them why and if I'd done anything and they said it was because 'i always say no to going out and we are just living different lives!' Which is false, I'd almost always say yes as I have evening childcare thanks to my partner, and they'd only get together every month or two. We all worked the same hours in the same place.

I just miss being social and it would have be even better to find someone like me with kids.

Bonus points if you're in South Wales🤞

Found this thread while looking for the same thing lol, unfortunately I'm not in South Wales though :( I'm 24, DD is 8 weeks and I'm absolutely dreading the eventual school runs in a few years time, I just know I'm going to get all kinds of looks when I show up! Fuck it though, at least we're unique 😅

Try the peanut app to see if there is anyone out there for you 🤞🏼

Are you commutable to Cheltenham @Cosmod ?

if so, give off the persona you work for GCHQ. I read a research article once that, quoting the CIA, suggested some of the best people for spy agencies are emo/ goth/ tattooed people. Characteristics include integrity, loyalty, reliability and an ability to discern the truth.

So you let it be quietly known you (and possibly your partner) work for GCHQ and you may impress people enough to let you in their group. Obviously you can’t talk about work and your social media profile is just a cover.

Sorted!! 😂

Do you think the problem could be you're all making assumptions and staring each other down? You're assuming their age and non emo-ness makes them people you wouldn't necessarily want to know. They potentially think the same about you. Have you tried making conversation with any of the parents?

You've got a long time ahead of you at the same school gates presumably and you don't need to be besties with them but being able to pass the time of the day or approach a parent to arrange a playdate makes life easier.

My tip is to not look for someone for you, it's to look to be someone for someone. Look around the playground for the mums who look lonely or different. Anyone being left out.

I started with Resting B Face mum (that's how she describes herself - but she doesn't say B). She was all by herself and looked out of place. I made her talk to me. Over time we collected the Libyan mum in the niqab that everyone was ignoring. Then the mum with the autistic kid who was getting left out. By then we were on a roll and collected all the left out mums. In about year 3 I think, we were described as a clique and one mum asked why. RBF friend did try to point out that we were all together because the in-crowd didn't want us but by then we were the in-crowd.

All the homogenous original in-crowd hipster people I think may have noticed that were are a diverse group full of immigrants, mixed income, second languages, kids and adults with SEN, all the things they say they want over Chardonnay but actually avoid.

Be the one that's kind. It is returned to you. The Libyan mum protected DD from bullying. RBF mum has done me so many solids with babysitting. It's a wonderful group.

I do try. I'll smile, I'll say good morning. If my daughter is playing with their kid I'll try to make conversation but I just get one word answers or no conversation in return. I catch people side-eyeing me and I'm very aware of when people are staring!
My daughters class is only 7 kids anyway which really limits my options lol

I like this idea!!!! There's only 7 kids in my daughters class and I don't really have many options, but I'm going to give this a go soon. One of the mums smiled at me yesterday, and my soul left my body I got so excited. Being socially deprived is really getting to me I think😂

Do u have an Instagram? Drop me a DM, maybe we can be mutuals!

@MrsTerryPratchett And I suspect a more interesting, rewarding and fun group that a sterile one.