Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Would you let your 14 Yr old DS home alone with their female friend?

28 replies

Windsor1o2 · 30/09/2023 16:00

DS has started 'talking' to a girl in his year. This apparently means that they like eachother and are getting to know eachother but aren't yet boyfriend/girlfriend. They're both year 10, 14/15.

Would you let them spend the afternoon at home alone together?

OP posts:
Nannyfannybanny · 30/09/2023 16:03

Does she go to school with him? I would probably secretly "scope her out", make sure she's not a 40 years man met online. Then yes, of course,why not.

Original poster
Windsor1o2 · 30/09/2023 16:04

Yes she's definitely a real person. They're in school together, often walk in together.

OP posts:
MushroomQueen · 30/09/2023 16:05

Yes I would at 14, probably snogging etc but I'd hope nothing major. I had my boyfriend at 14 nothing major until 16-17

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

14 year olds Secondary education
MamaBear2210T · 30/09/2023 16:06

Nope.

It would be downstairs only, no going into bedrooms and not being left unattended for too long.

WitcheryDivine · 30/09/2023 16:09

IMO talking to means dating now. Would you let 14 year old DS stay home with his girlfriend alone for the afternoon? Treat this situation the same.

(personally I wouldn’t unless I’d met her and seen them together and I’d spoken to him about safe sex and ensured he had BC)

Fleabane · 30/09/2023 16:10

No. I know too many kids of that age who've had accidental pregnancies

Nannyfannybanny · 30/09/2023 18:33

Talking means dating!!

MyBedIsMySpiritualHome · 30/09/2023 18:43

No

Cheeesus · 30/09/2023 18:44

Definitely not.

TeenDivided · 30/09/2023 18:46

No from me. Protects both teens from allegations.

incognito50me · 30/09/2023 19:08

I did it. It led to sex within three months, far too early (both 15). Looking back, we - both sets of parents - should have been less permissive. However, I believe these two would have found a way to be intimate, just in less nice surroundings, and maybe a month or two later. One way or another, they would not have waited until 16.

Littlefish · 30/09/2023 19:47

No, I definitely wouldn't.

ShowOfHands · 30/09/2023 20:09

I did let DD have male friends in the house alone. They stayed over and she stayed at their houses too. Still does now she's in y12.

But they were actual friends. No "talking" here.

In your situation, no I probably wouldn't allow it just yet. They're not friends. They're exploring romantic possibilities.

Deargodletitgo · 30/09/2023 20:23

I allow my DD and he bf to spend time together in her bedroom. They are 14, there's probably snogging, she's told me. But I'm confident they make sensible choices

strawberryjeans · 30/09/2023 20:24

They probably want to hang out, watch telly and possibly kiss. But honestly if they want to do something more they will find a way, so may as well show your son you trust him but definitely have the conversation beforehand and/or make sure there’s contraceptives available for him. If you give him some responsibility and autonomy over this I reckon he’s more likely to see you as approachable in the future and confide in you/let you into his life.

MissingMoominMamma · 30/09/2023 20:27

My mum made me leave the bedroom door open when my boyfriend came round.

Not an issue, we used to shag in his car instead.

If we’d had a house to ourselves for the afternoon, we’d have been at it like rabbits.

Neverseenthatmuchjunkinthetrunkbefore · 30/09/2023 20:51

No.

Londonscallingme · 30/09/2023 20:56

I guess it depends what you think you’ll achieve by not letting them be alone together? Personally I don’t think teenagers abstain from sex due to lack of a warm comfortable bed to do it in. They don’t have sex if they don’t want to have sex. If they do, then they find a way to do it.

Blueeyedmale · 30/09/2023 21:08

No I wouldn't let my son alone with a 14 year old girl I've brought him up to be respectful but I was 14 once I know how the teenage male mind works not a chance!

nonheme · 30/09/2023 21:38

Definite no. Is the girl on birth control?

riotlady · 30/09/2023 21:45

Yes, I would. I think you’re better off having open and honest conversations about sex rather than trying to prevent opportunities through constant vigilance- as a pp said, if they really want to do it they’ll find a way!

IfYouDontAsk · 30/09/2023 21:51

No. That’s a fast route to a teenage pregnancy.

curaçao · 30/09/2023 22:03

MushroomQueen · 30/09/2023 16:05

Yes I would at 14, probably snogging etc but I'd hope nothing major. I had my boyfriend at 14 nothing major until 16-17

Ao naive!

terraced · 30/09/2023 22:04

I would.

Universalsnail · 30/09/2023 22:47

Yes. I would make sure I have had a safe sex talk with him though even though he'll die of embarrassment and I would also at some point If he has a girlfriend make sure there are condoms in my house in like a bathroom cabinet or something that you don't need to mention but he'd be able to see.

If they are going to have sex they will have sex somewhere.

I mean it's more then possible they wouldn't have sex. I didn't until I was 16 but hung out with boys alone well before that but it's better to be safe then sorry.