What makes someone be dismissive/ dry?

weeseee · 2023-09-29T21:59:28+00:00

What in your opinion makes someone be dismissive or standoffish with another person?

XenoBitch · 29/09/2023 23:00

Shyness, social anxiety, or being ND.
Or they could just be not that nice.

uhOhOP · 29/09/2023 23:04

They might be having a bad day, or they might have had a long day dealing with a lot of very stupid people. They might have some other things on their mind, or they might not like the company.

RhymesWithTangerine · 29/09/2023 23:05

They might be busy in their head.

I am so busy sometimes, and I need all my brain power, empathy and thoughts for my job. It means I can seem aloof. I am literally not thinking about the people I am with.

XenoBitch · 29/09/2023 23:05

uhOhOP · 29/09/2023 23:04

They might be having a bad day, or they might have had a long day dealing with a lot of very stupid people. They might have some other things on their mind, or they might not like the company.

That too. Even the most fab of people can have a shit day.

Chatbot12 · 29/09/2023 23:10

If someone is inane/vacuous/petty/bigoted/repetitious/deluded, then I may be dismissive or stand-offish. Then again, I’m not very patient and other people may choose to be dismissive or stand-offish towards me shrugs

Catsmere · 30/09/2023 07:14

What’s the context, OP? Are you thinking of a particular incident?

PerfectMatch · 30/09/2023 07:19

I think if someone is repeatedly dismissive of someone else it's usually because they find them boring so they're trying to leave the conversation as quickly as possible. If it's a one off, could just be a bad day as above.

yogasaurus · 30/09/2023 07:22

Long day, not looking to make any more friends (cup already feeling empty)

If it’s repeated, they don’t like them

CapEBarra · 30/09/2023 07:24

If the other person is banging on and on about the same thing over and over again. I have a friend who bangs on about her ex even though they split up 6 years ago and he’s nothing ,to do with her life anymore. It’s exhausting, it makes no difference what I say, or what advice I give, nothing changes. She’s in a terminal loop and I’m not a counsellor. When she starts up I just have to say ‘Ah well, never mind. It’s done now. Oh look, a wasp’.

yogasaurus · 30/09/2023 07:31

CapEBarra · 30/09/2023 07:24

If the other person is banging on and on about the same thing over and over again. I have a friend who bangs on about her ex even though they split up 6 years ago and he’s nothing ,to do with her life anymore. It’s exhausting, it makes no difference what I say, or what advice I give, nothing changes. She’s in a terminal loop and I’m not a counsellor. When she starts up I just have to say ‘Ah well, never mind. It’s done now. Oh look, a wasp’.

Oh god, this. One DF does this, I can’t listen to her rant about the ex (she left 5 years ago) any longer.

I don’t see her much any longer, it’s too hard and really boring

EveSix · 30/09/2023 07:33

DC1 accuses me of being 'dry' if I respond to a text message with a simple phrase or word. I'm usually 'old fashionedly' all full sentences and punctuation as well as a "X" or emoji, so DC is disconcerted if I respond with "OK" and don't use a full stop.
It'll be because I'm shopping or otherwise busy.

Edwardandtubbs · 30/09/2023 07:38

I am genuinely not interested in other people and so don’t feel the need to engage with what they say…there’s no law of the universe that says I should! In a work environment or with friends I am warmer (from a real place) but I don’t put effort into being ‘friendly’ generally. Maybe this is a breach of the social contract. I don’t care. I also don’t care if people are standoffish with me and wouldn’t take it personally!

RedundancyRUs · 30/09/2023 07:43

Generally when someone's not using the brains they were given.... which on some days is often and especially when I'm busy.

People seem to lack common sense sometimes.

Totaly · 30/09/2023 07:46

Or sometimes people take offense at bro g ‘ignored’ as they are attention seekers. All about them.

I think there’s an instinct at work, where your subconsciously recognize something you disliked in someone else.

Thingsthatgo · 30/09/2023 08:46

I am pretty dismissive or dry when someone is trying to engage me in a conversation that I have no interest in... like star signs, or the healing power of crystals or how their diet is going. I try to engage the first time, but it's just not my bag!

SupportAnimalShelters · 30/09/2023 09:29

So many different reasons. Don't take it personally. It's more likely something to do with what is happening with the other person.

CreationNat1on · 30/09/2023 09:33

It's usually their own insecurity.

Train yourself to take nothing personally

MargaretThursday · 30/09/2023 10:02

As a one off of generally?

One off is probably about mood of the person doing it.

Generally it's probably irritation with the other person for some reason. It could be that they think the other person is over-dramatic so tend to be very dismissive of things they might dramatise, either because they don't want to be drawn in, or because they hope by playing it down the other person would, for example.
Or as someone else said, that they know if they give you an in, then you'll speak at length about Star Wars or something they really are not interested about at all.
Or it could be they find the other person generally irritating for unknown reason and want to discourage conversation.

Catsmere · 30/09/2023 11:19

Could also be when the person speaking has shown themselves to be a complete shit on first acquaintance, and you have zero desire to pander to that or speak to them any more than absolutely necessary. (As in the neighbour who trotted out stories of cruelty the moment she knew I have cats.)