Elderly neighbour - update need advice (trigger SA)

[Shortpoet]

So I posted this thread about a lonely elderly neighbour.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4902288-elderly-neighbour-wwyd?reply=129366279

Im starting a new thread because there’s an update and I don’t want people to only read the OP and tell me to contact age concern. It’s moved on from this.

I called age concern on Monday as suggested and the woman I spoke to when she realised who it was went quiet and said she couldn’t say more but he was known to them and if he wanted to go on the list for a befriender it would have to be a man. She didn’t say why, but she said they had offered a male befriender before and he turned it down. I told him that and he said he just preferred talking to women over men.

On Tuesday he had a cataract operation and I took some dinner round for him as he wasn’t able to prepare anything for himself.
He asked if I’d pop in the next day and I said yes for 5 mins as I was going out.

On Weds I popped round for 5 mins. And his vision has had some improvement. Not perfect but better than it was.

As I was leaving I picked up my bag, leaned over him to give a quick hug (which I normally do) and he grabbed my breast and squeezed it saying that feels nice.
I said don’t do that, and slapped his hand away and left.

He rang me 2 mins later to apologise. I stupidly said if he did it again I wouldn’t visit anymore. We haven’t spoken since. That’s normal as I would normally only go round on a Sunday.

I couldn’t concentrate at my hobby that evening, I felt really tearful. Yesterday I felt weird and unsettled at work. He didn’t hurt me, but my breast felt hot and heavy and wrong.

I haven’t told anyone in real life. I feel really ashamed like I’ve done something wrong. Even though I know I haven’t.
I did ignore a couple of red flags though.

I’m so angry and upset. I feel guilty for not wanting to visit anymore, and really annoyed that someone who has so few friends would do that to someone who has only shown care.

I know I can process this. I’ve got over worse. I’m just annoyed I have to divert my energy into dealing with this instead of doing more positive things.

Sorry if this isn’t appropriate for chat and needs to be moved to a different topic. I’ve put a trigger warning in title.

I just need and hand hold and some advice on how to move forward.

I just read your older post too. I wonder if he has a past conviction towards women and that is why the lady on the phone went quiet? Can you check if he is on the sex offenders register?

You did nothing wrong OP. What he did was unacceptable.

Yeah the lady on the phone told you without telling you.
You have nothing to feel guilty about, block his number and never have anything to do with him again.

I haven't read your other thread OP, but perhaps it's better to not read the in's and out's and have a clear cut gut reaction to the bare facts which are:
He's assaulted you.
You are not at fault.
Don't expose yourself to this any more, you don't deserve this.

You're a kind person and he's been vile towards you. Leave him to it now. The woman on the phone knows what he's like.

Google his name. You might find it comes up in a court case or on a register?

Agree with this. It's a proper assault, vulnerable or not, and you'd be entirely within your rights to report it to the police, for your own sake and so that if there's another woman he assaults, there's evidence.

On this, I also hope that other people reading this do listen to people like the woman on the phone who was trying very clearly to say that it wouldn't be appropriate for a woman to be alone with him.

Did you override your own gut instinct at this to go there anyway? If so, I'd really recommend the book 'The Gift of Fear', it's about how we need to trust our instincts in some of these situations, and not let ingrained societal expectations of caring or politeness overrule our sense of danger