Tw: mental health and poor eating.
I'm so angry at myself. I've had really bad anxiety for the last two years. It caused me to be hospitalised many times and I've lost 3 stone due to restricted eating through stress. I'm newly on a higher dose of citalopram and my partner so kindly booked me a hair appointment as a birthday treat. I haven't been to the hair dresser is over 7 years. I used to love it I've just never had to money due to have twins and the cost of living.
My appointment is in three hours. I woke up with so much anxiety. I feel so sick. I have no idea why. I should be so happy and excited. He's planning all this wonderful stuff because it's my 30th and I'm so grateful and so lucky but my body and mind once again is ruining everything. He's at work at the moment and I'm freaking out. Why am I so scared? What am I bloody scared about? I hate this!! I'm on day 7 of citalopram 20mg so I'm praying it's just the initial side effects because this isn't fair on my partner. I should be ecstatic and instead I'm just crying and so so nauseous