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Original poster

Favourite child

23 replies

ivybx · 29/09/2023 00:02

I was reading a post that mentioned favourite child in it and it got me wondering if people with more than one child do actually have a favourite ? Of course you would never tell them this. My brother and I used to always ask our parents this growing up and they obviously said they didn't have favourites, but I do wonder if people do. I only have 1 child hence the question, I am genuinely curious.

OP posts:

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 29/09/2023 00:05

I don't. My parents definitely had an 'easier' child who they got on better with, which became obvious as we got older. Personalities can start to clash or mesh more as the dc develop their personalities. If ever I start to feel like I do (bloody hope not!) I will bury it deeper than the grave. I absolutely cannot bear favouritism.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/09/2023 00:06

I have two children and I absolutely do not have a favourite. I can't wrap my head around that at all, honestly. However, I know people who absolutely do have a favourite child, and some of them even admit it. This is when the Golden Child dynamic comes into play, I'm sure, and it must be very painful for the child who isn't the chosen one.

looking4pup · 29/09/2023 00:08

My mum doesn't like any of us.

I don't have a favourite but whoever is asking me the question I always say the other.

balzamico · 29/09/2023 00:16

My two are in their teens, they definitely slip in and out of being the easier to live with but they're different people
With different qualities- I genuinely couldn't pick a favourite

Playingintheshadow · 29/09/2023 00:19

Three kids - could not possibly choose a favourite!! Love them all just the same.

They all think they are the 'favourite' lol! We tell them (they are adults!) that we hate them all the same!!

I have never, ever understood having favourites!

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 29/09/2023 00:20

Whenever mine used to ask who was my favourite I told them I hate them equally. (Don't worry, they know I love them more than anything)

But no, I don't have a favourite. I might be getting on better with one of them at a particular time. But ultimately I love them the same.

Bey · 29/09/2023 00:21

I have two children who I love an amount that I can't even quantify I honestly do not have a favourite love isn't a finite resource

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 29/09/2023 00:23

My favourite child is my son’s cat.

That stops them bickering!

NuffSaidSam · 29/09/2023 00:28

My mum always said the dog.

I think she was joking.

kittenseverywhere · 29/09/2023 00:30

I have a few kids and no, I don't have a favourite. You can't even compare because they are all unique. Like friends, I like similar and different things about them. I can't imagine thinking one is better than others.

Doyoumind · 29/09/2023 00:31

I think there are many, many people for whom it's obvious they are not the favourite, myself included. It might not have been said in those exact words, but actions and behaviours have made it crystal clear.

Madamwahselle · 29/09/2023 00:33

I don't, no. I've experienced and witnessed it though. Abhorrent.

I have a boy and a girl and I deflected it by saying 'ok ok ok yes you are my favourite......son' etc 😂

TheDogFosterer · 29/09/2023 00:34

I don't. If I did, I'd get therapy as I've seen the damage that having a favourite child can do to the parent child relationship and between siblings. It can negatively impact the whole family forever.

Y7jahbb33 · 29/09/2023 00:53

If I'm being truly honest, I do have a favourite. They dont have a clue and both are treated equally, cuddled/told their loved equally and also told off equally. They both think the other is the favourite

My youngest is my favourite. But, i think its mainly guilt that has made it this way. He was a surprise baby and was/is the absolute double of his big brother ( my first DS ) who died 3 years before DS was born.

He had a difficult labour, was premature and I had severe PND until he was a year old. It took until he was a year old for those feelings of love for him to come through. It makes me so sad when I think back, because he is an absolute joy to be around.

I get on with my DD really well, we tell each other we love each other everyday, cuddle, spend one to one time, but we are very similar and do clash

Where as DS is so chilled and calm,

If they were in a burning building I'd get them both out so the favouritism doesnt run that deep but I definetly do have more of a softer spot for my DS nowadays where we when DD was little she was my absolute favourite, she was a lovely little girl ( she still is, but she was a brilliant toddler and baby )

Y7jahbb33 · 29/09/2023 00:58

Forgot to add

I think I've learnt more towards DS too because DD is the one invited on holiday with my sister/ sleepovers at her house and my mums where as DS isnt so it's made me more softer on him as I'd never want him to feel left out

movedonfromsmithy · 29/09/2023 00:58

I have a favourite.... but only because he has to be... he's an only child!!!

kittenseverywhere · 29/09/2023 01:00

Favourites can change. My mother will deny it but she had a favourite - my sister. My sister was a much more easy going child than me and got away with things I'd have been severely punished for. Now I'm the favourite and I do know why. This is one reason I had more than two children.

PlantDoctor · 29/09/2023 01:02

My sister and I always tease each other about who is the favourite, but we're both so different and I don't suppose my parents really did have a favourite, other than whoever was the least difficult that day! I only have DD so can't really comment myself

Lizzieregina · 29/09/2023 01:06

I have 3 kids and couldn’t have a favourite.

They have very different personalities and are lovable and annoying for different reasons.

Everyone says my son is my blue eyed boy, and he is. He’s had significant struggles but has always remained extremely kind and easy to live with.

My youngest daughter was a nightmare teenager and I really thought I’d murder her, but in her mid 20s, she’s a completely different person and would give you the shirt off her back.

My oldest daughter gave me the fewest headaches growing up (her siblings call her the perfect child, but she’s not). I think she’s the most like me so we do butt heads now and again.

But as someone upthread said, I’d run into a burning building for any one of them.

DramaAlpaca · 29/09/2023 01:25

I have three adult sons, all very different, all wonderful, all who've required parenting in different ways. I genuinely don't have a favourite but I'd say my bond with each of them is different but equal. I adore them all.

Probably my best parenting moment was when I overheard the three of them, teenagers at the time, arguing about which of them was my favourite, and each of them thought it was him.

I guess I must've done something right.

Findyourneutralspace · 29/09/2023 01:38

Mine are both my favourite for different reasons.

Original poster

ivybx · 29/09/2023 05:25

Thank you all for your replies. Very interesting to read xx

OP posts:

Hummingbird233 · 29/09/2023 06:38

Nope I genuinely love my three the same. For different reasons but all equally.

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